[micco]

just wanted to express my feelings. I applied for an ER job today. I really like working in the OR and think I do a good job. But, I have been unhappy lately. it is mainly due to a person (staff/occasional charge nurse). I thought the situation was resolved or at least I told myself that I was not going to let this person get to me anymore. I have brought up the matter to my manager and the director. Today, occasional charge is charge. both manager and director are gone. What does she do, she decides to go around to other staff members and take a survey about me. Basically, she is asking if I am difficult to work with and do I cause disruptions in the workplace. In the past this person has yelled at me in the morning meeting in front of everyone because I was sharing info with a SPD tech. She has insulted and put down my chosen religion. And yet, my manager tries to explain away this person's behavior to her German upbringing and the fact that she is insecure. I'm just tired. I would like to continue to work in the OR but that would mean driving 45 miles and spending the night away from taking call.

[Surgerygirl]

Do not let one person dictate where you work! If you love the OR ... stay. I know that there is always someone that is hard to deal with but you will run into the same thing in the ER. I would be in the area I loved. Try killing her with kindness......... JMHO

[brewerpaul]

Man, don't let one *ssh*le like that make you leave the OR or any other place that you like.
The fact is that there can be jerks ANY place you work-- this is a fact of life. The ER may be no different. You can spend your whole life running away from these people.
Look carefully at yourself: ARE you difficult to work with? DO you cause disruptions? Be objective. Ask your co-workers too. If you really think that you're OK, then fight this one tooth and nail.

[ShariDCST]

Originally Posted by micco

just wanted to express my feelings. I applied for an ER job today. I really like working in the OR and think I do a good job. But, I have been unhappy lately. it is mainly due to a person (staff/occasional charge nurse). I thought the situation was resolved or at least I told myself that I was not going to let this person get to me anymore. I have brought up the matter to my manager and the director. Today, occasional charge is charge. both manager and director are gone. What does she do, she decides to go around to other staff members and take a survey about me. Basically, she is asking if I am difficult to work with and do I cause disruptions in the workplace. In the past this person has yelled at me in the morning meeting in front of everyone because I was sharing info with a SPD tech. She has insulted and put down my chosen religion. And yet, my manager tries to explain away this person's behavior to her German upbringing and the fact that she is insecure. I'm just tired. I would like to continue to work in the OR but that would mean driving 45 miles and spending the night away from taking call.

Regardless of this person's "upbringing," nationality, personality weaknesses or whatever else she's burdened with, none of that is an acceptable reason for allowing her to create a hostile work environment for you or anybody else. Human Resources should be able to help you with this. She should NOT be allowed, and in this case, enabled, to single out anyone for any of the reasons you mentioned and make them the target of her personal vendetta.
She may be occassional "charge" - but that does not give her blanket authority to break the rules governing acceptable interactions with her fellow employees or those she supervises when she is in a charge role. Your manager is not doing his/her job by failing to address this issue with her directly, and she/he is allowing a hostile work environment to flourish, and neither is the Director by failing to follow up and make sure this is handled properly.
No matter where this person is FROM, or who her parents are/were, she is working/living in America - and this behavior is not acceptable here, and it should not be tolerated. She's acting like a bully, and should be dealt with as such. I would suggest going to Human Resources and finding out what they might be able to do to help you deal with her - whether it's having a chat with the manager, or addressing the situation with the person who's making your life miserable directly. You could easily make an issue out of this just from the harrassment regarding your Religion alone.
Don't leave - don't knuckle under and let her win. Fight for your right to work where you wish. If you let her run you off, then she wins. Good luck with it - I wish you the best.

[micco]

thank you for all your encouragement. We had a meeting to try to resolve some of the issues with the manager. She eventually apologized. It is frustrating in that she has a diffficult time recognizing or owning up to the fact that she is abrasive and acted unprofessionally. may be things will get better over time. who know. thanks again for your posts.

[brewerpaul]

Originally Posted by micco

thank you for all your encouragement. We had a meeting to try to resolve some of the issues with the manager. She eventually apologized. It is frustrating in that she has a diffficult time recognizing or owning up to the fact that she is abrasive and acted unprofessionally. may be things will get better over time. who know. thanks again for your posts.

Sometimes I've found that with abrasive people it helps to try to talk to them about non-work related things eg in the break room, and get to know them a bit. See what they're interested in, and if there's something you like too, talk about it. Favorite restaurants, recent movies etc. This humanizes you in their eyes, and they might be less likely to give you sh*t in the future. Sometimes it works, but not always.