[florry]

Hello oncology nurses with experience;

I have a lovely 14 year girl suffering of sarcoma c. met. all over. She has gotten cemo with unbelivingly effect; so the symptoms as pain, imobillity, oedema en fatigue are minimized-.

She has ONE huge interests and its celebreties and authographs.
I have a dillemma: I wanted so intensely to give her something positive to think about - and when I am off duty I am collecting autographs, pictures, call celebreties and tell them about her (with her fathers permission). I have collected an album now, and she is so proud!

BUT: Am I going too far? ---- Am I too involved? I cant stop thinking about her and "that a picture, note ore name can give her more HEALTH - POSITIVE THINKING AND DOING HER BETTER!

What do you think about this? Is it the way of burn out....
Florry

[Chaya]

Florry: You said you are doing this with her Dad's permission., and it sounds like it's all in good taste. I think this will mean the world to her and just might give her that little extra bit of fight. She is lucky to have such a caring nurse!

[simao pt]

We have to be careful not to bring patients home with us.
But...we care for our patientes, and we must not feel guilty for showing that.

[CatMamaRN]

Florry,

I think that you are doing a wonderful thing for this young girl! While we do have to take care of ourselves, and try not to get overly attached too often, it does happen. It sounds like you have bonded with this child, and are able to give her something that means a great deal to her. I expect most oncology nurses, in fact most nurses in general, who have direct patient contact, have stories of special patients who have touched their hearts. I know I do!

By the way, in the USA we have an organization called "The Make A Wish Foundation", which helps severely and terminally ill children realize their dreams. If you contact them, they may be able to help you get autographs and photos of American celebrities. Sometimes they can even arrange for visits or telephone calls from the "stars." It could be worth checking into, if you haven't already.



Bless you for caring!

[globalRN]

In oncology nursing, you do form attachments and mourn their deaths or celebrate their remissions/cure. And yes, some patients and their families do touch you profoundly for whatever reasons....

I love this hospice quote, it helps me to find value in our work:

When we cannot add days to a life, we can add life to the days

[florry]

Dear CatmamaRN!

Thank you so much for supporting me and for the tios you gave me about American celebreties. (Do they have a "link" or something? Ican try searching the net).

You see, when nurses genereally have been in nursing for some time, allthough I feel that I have learned the balance between distance and closesnes (maybe its wrong spelling...) I can feel when its good chemestry, I can feel when its wright or wrong. BUT sometimes I think rationally and think; am I gooing beond that line, even I inside me know that I am doing etically and good nursing. Thank God that I still are asking questions!

Yes, I think you Global nurse is wright; In a certain way we in onchology, LTC and hospice get attached to the pt, and some of them ESPESIALLY attached. Not for "sorting out", but people is different.

Its A GREAT HELP AND OPPORTUNITY TO ME to discuss this theme/issue with you, because we can support each other and understand what kind of problem it is.

I will at last tell about one of Norways HUGE CELEBRETIE in achting: a lady who is 85 years old: she helped me: made an envelope with letter and 15 pichtures (and her name backside) and asked someone on the street to post it for her, because its so much snow and so on. The envelope never came to the pt. I called the old lady again, and the next day she called the pt at HOME for encouraging the pt, her brother and the papa! THAT WAS NICE DONE, I THINK! AND THE PT IS LIVING ON THAT MANY PEOPLE - AND EVEN THE CELEBRETIE LADY IS THINKING OF HER!

Well, sorry for too loong reply, but again it means A LOT TO ME TO DISCUSS THIS WHIT YOU!!

love from Florry

[jemb]

Bless you for being such a caring nurse for your young patient.

Go to www.onconurse.com/ . Scroll down to the bottom of the page and you will find a link to " Wish Fulfillment Organizations". Some serve only a limited geographic area, but many of them are international. You might find one that could help your patient reach her dream.

[renerian]

I have some autographs pics I bought I could send your friend?

renerian

[beckymcrn]

I too am an oncology nurse and although we try hard not to bring our patients home with us, it does happen. For some reason a certain patient will creep into your heart and you are hooked.
I think it is a wonderful thing you are doing for this patient. It is also good that you are doing this with her father's permission. Little things like this is what make a difference in our patients lives and when this is all over no matter what the outcome may be you have made a difference in this families life. They know you care.


I agree with the post about make a wish foundation. I had a friend a long time ago whose child died of leukemia. The Make a Wish Foundation gave the child and a parent a trip accross country to the set of his favorite TV show to meet the star. I have been a fan of the foundation ever since.

God Bless you for your compassion.

[florry]

Originally Posted by renerian

I have some autographs pics I bought I could send your friend?

renerian

'That would be very nice of you: I think she has 3% chance to be good again, but right now; she is at home, painfree and have a lot of appetite both on food and life!

Address edited out for the safety of the patient.

I am sure she would appeciate it very much! Thank you again!

From Florryundefined

________________________

Note from moderator: I edited out the address in the interest of safety for the patient. This is a very public and busy bulletin board. I would hate to see this patient bothered by sicko responses from uncaring internet wierdos.

Ted
Moderator for the Oncology Nursing Forum