[fp nurse]

I have some questions ,and I thought this was the place to get real answers. My father-in-law was dx with lung ca 3B. That is if it is just lung ca (dx yesterday) now I do realize that we still need to do a scan to r/o any other involment ie liver bone etc well you know. My problem is because I am the nurse in the family everyone looks to me for answers/ or to explain things. The only Oncology I had was in nursing school 10 yrs ago. I dont want to give wrong or bad info ,but would like to be able to help them understand with real honest answers. So, i would appreciate all of you letting me pick your brain. He is a 70ish white male no other significant medical hx (high chol GERD) This started with minor colds (cough cong) in January--- then sob pain in lower r chest x 1 mth. Primary doc found gallstones, and fluid between the lining of the lungs. The fluid was drained no ca cells were found. (oh on x-ray and scan no mass) I hope not too much info or not enough. MY questions are many. If it is just lung ca 3B, does the # mean the size with 4 being the largest ,and letters meaning how far it has metastasized? I know that it is inoperable and terminal(from the surgeon) but he could not speculate any further referd to oncology ,but not till next wk because we will not be using that hosp for treatment. Too far from home and primary does not have priv there. In your opinion what kind of time frame are we looking at? I know some ca are faster then others ,but worst case -best case would even be helpful. Under what situation would chemo be worth doing? We are more for quaility then quanity. I hope someone will have some insight-opinion-suggestion anything to help me understand so I can help everyone else. TX

[ktwlpn]

I'm sorry about your FIL---there are numerous sites you can access with lung cancer staging info.The National Cancer Institute ,American Cancer Society,The Oncology channel are all good sites.....You can learn the different staging methods and what each designation means.Stage 3b is non-small cell lung ca but you still need lots more info.......My FIL was dx with ca about a year after my mother died (ca,too) I realized that my in-laws were going to handle the situation together in their own way-I supported my husband ,encouraged and enabled him to spend as much time with his father as he could....When my own mom was diagnosed I looked up all of this info and it really did me no good- when it was over I kind of wished I had not even read it all.....My mom made her own decisions to the end-if it had been up to me I would maybe have made a different decision knowing what I did know but that was not my place.....(I hope I'm making myself clear-I'm trying....) My mom opted for a hard road of numerous rounds of in- patient chemo,radiation and numerous surgeries and died in 18 months....She felt the docs were holding out hope for a cure...In my opinion that was what she wanted to hear-I knew it was a done deal from day 1....But she was not ready so she fought-and we did have good times together-she died at home as she wished and we were with her..........You FIL will go with whatever the doc he trusts recommends...I think you already know in your heart what he is probably dealing with-and you will be such support for the whole family-but please give yourself permission to be the daughter in law,too.....take care of yourself.....

[EricEnfermero]

Those are some good sources of info from the previous poster. While we can't give health advice or render medical opinions here, I just wanted to wish your family the best.

One suggestion: Don't be afraid to tell your family how long it has been since you've had any oncology experience. Sometimes people will respect you more if you can readily admit to not knowing everything.

[fp nurse]

Thanks for the info. The sites do have good info. I did not mean to sound like I was trying to take over the situation. (tell them what to do or what not to) I just want to be able to help them with any questions. You know just to give them the best support i can either with questions - love anything at all.