[nursepearl]

As a teen mom who had a horrible birth experience, I wish i had Shay and smilingblueeyes as my nurse! I wont go into too much detail, but basically, i was treated like a second class citizen.....offered no pain meds, she only checked the monitors and not me, and acted like i was a waste of time.
She even asked my mother if she was ready for another baby (implying that she would be taking care of my son)!
There has been some awesome advice given here, please take it to heart....and most of all dont judge your patients, just care for them as if they were a member of your family.
Pearl

Ps. my baby is now 7 years-old and the only thing i look forward to coming home from work (besides sleeping.... )

[alphafe]

Nursepearl,

I'm so sorry for what you went through. I know an older nurse who said they routinely treated anyone but white, middle-class, married mothers like s***. I'm SO glad those days are over.

I've gained SO much from this thread, I got so much more than I thought I would by posting here.

What can be more important than empowering a woman to do anything, but ESPECIALLY to be a mother?

Thanks again to everyone who opened my heart and mind today!

[shay]

Originally Posted by nursepearl

As a teen mom who had a horrible birth experience, I wish i had Shay and smilingblueeyes as my nurse! I wont go into too much detail, but basically, i was treated like a second class citizen.....offered no pain meds, she only checked the monitors and not me, and acted like i was a waste of time.
She even asked my mother if she was ready for another baby (implying that she would be taking care of my son)!
There has been some awesome advice given here, please take it to heart....and most of all dont judge your patients, just care for them as if they were a member of your family.
Pearl

Ps. my baby is now 7 years-old and the only thing i look forward to coming home from work (besides sleeping.... )

Omg, bless your heart. That makes me want to kick those nurses' collective arses and give you a big hug. That makes me so angry.

[VivaLasViejas]

Originally Posted by shay

Omg, bless your heart. That makes me want to kick those nurses' collective arses and give you a big hug. That makes me so angry.

Reminds me of an experience I had when I gave birth to my oldest son at age 30. I was in a semi-private room with a 16-year-old mom, and it just killed my soul to see the way she was treated by the staff......even with a big supportive family present most of the time, they watched her like hawks and wouldn't let her keep the baby in the room. They were constantly lecturing her and urging her to give up the child for adoption. She couldn't even go off the floor without permission from a nurse, while I, of course, had the run of the place and didn't have to answer to anyone if I wanted to go out to smoke (which I did in those days) or downstairs to the gift shop. Over the next two days we became friends, and I taught her how to care for her baby while she talked of her dreams for him; sometimes we would go out on the balcony together when our babies were in the nursery, and we'd share cigarettes and our plans for their future.

The night before we were both to be discharged, she asked her nurse, per "the rules", if she could go out to smoke and was flat-out told "NO!!" That was when I went to the nurses' station and informed the charge nurse that I was taking her out with me, as usual. The nurse got rather huffy and said no, she has to stay here on the floor.....to which I said "Look, I'm not asking you, I'm TELLING you---this little girl deserves a break. If you need her, she'll be out on the balcony with me."

That was almost a generation ago, but I've never forgotten how mean those nurses were to this girl, whose only 'crime' was being an unwed teen mom from a poor family. And whenever I'm working OB and caring for a young mom, I think of her--now a woman of 32--and wonder how things turned out for her and her baby.

[shay]

Omg, that girl is just a year older than me. That would make it around the year 1989-1990!!! What the #@!! ??? No offense to the older generation of nurses here, but those nurses sound straight out of the 50's, not the late 80's/early 90's!!!! That poor girl. I hope she rose above all of that.

[NurseHeather]

Originally Posted by SmilingBluEyes

Shay covered it brilliantly. (you go, girl!!!).

I just will add, it helps for you to come to grips with your values and belief systems early-on. Be aware of your prejudices ( and yes, we all have them)--- and also stand ready to have them challenged EACH and EVERY day you are on the job. Not just by your patients, but also by family members, coworkers and associates on the job.

You have to, at times, suspend these feelings you have in order to render compassionate and nonjudgmental care to people in all walks of life and from all social situations. You will meet tough cases. That is a given. The drug-users are not the toughest for me. For me, it's abusers of women and children.

But each of us has to overcome our own personal feelings to rise to the occasion, or we burn out very quickly. Have in place a good outside support system (outside work)--- be that your spouse, or significant other, friends, family or clergy. Do NOT take work home with you. This takes experience and time to learn to do this, but it is ESSENTIAL in order to avoid inevitable burnout otherwise. Pray, if inclined. Meditate. Take care of your own physical , emotional and spiritual needs and you will be better-able to cope with situations that challenge you to the core when you are at work.

That is my best advice as an experienced OB/GYN nurse. Good luck to you!

To all of the L&D nurses out there:
One of my bigger concerns about this topic has always bothered me...
I am going to be graduating this December, and I have accepted a full time night position as a GN -RN on the labor unit at my local hospital, and I wonder if they send these babies home regularly with mothers who they know are drug addicted. I hope that this is not the case, or is it so common that they just do it anyway? I am not sure if I will be able to forget about that baby when it goes home. I won't be able to not think that mom will be shooting up and passing out, while that little innocent baby is crying to be fed, changed, or just held by its mom. So, how do you experienced nurses come to terms with this if it is true what I am saying, or does child protective services get involved? Thanks for any help on this.. Heather

[VivaLasViejas]

Originally Posted by shay

Omg, that girl is just a year older than me. That would make it around the year 1989-1990!!! What the #@!! ??? No offense to the older generation of nurses here, but those nurses sound straight out of the 50's, not the late 80's/early 90's!!!! That poor girl. I hope she rose above all of that.

Me too, Shay. I remember most of the nurses on that floor were middle-aged or older.......this was 1988 actually, and it was a Mennonite hospital, where some of them still wore plain high-necked dresses and prayer caps. Not to slam anyone's religion, but it did seem to me that the attitudes in this hospital were pretty old-fashioned and judgmental. In fact, one nurse even tried to forbid ME to leave the floor, telling me that I'd have to ask the doctor for permission to have a cigarette out on the balcony. I just looked at her and said, "I'm 30 years old........do you have any idea how long it's been since I had to 'ask permission' to do ANYTHING??"

[nursepearl]

when i was in nursing school i wanted to be an L&D nurse so that none of my patients would have to go through what i did. But, I am now an oncology nurse, but i sure as heck give my patients all the respect in the world. i am known for loving the "difficult" patients and having the best days with them....its amazing what a little respect will do.

[VivaLasViejas]

I hear what you're saying, nursepearl. I'm the same way---the ones others find hard to love are usually the ones I get along with best. Some people are just jerks, but I've found that if you scratch most 'difficult' patients, you'll find a scared and sad human being underneath. I've also learned that simply spending five or ten minutes with them when you make walking rounds, listening to their concerns and assuring them that their needs will be met, sets the tone for the entire shift, and instead of being on their call light every 2 minutes they might call once every hour, or even less often if they know they can count on you to be there when you say you will.

JMHO.

[PegRNBSN]

I just had a patient yesterday who was 17 and having her third child. She used drugs and had both of her other children taken away. I was the charge nurse and admitted her to the unit. When she came in I made a little joke and touched her arm while I listened to the baby. She told me that it was the first time any nurse had smiled at her or touched her if they didn't "have" to. I couldn't get over how sad it is that my fellow nurses could treat her so poorly. While I feel anger and sadness over her bringing another child into this world, I could never treat her with less dignity than anyone else. Every patient is here because they need my care. What got them there is irrelevant to how they are cared for.
I find it the most difficult to take care of patients who are rude or abusive to me. I always tell them that I will treat them with respect and I would apprecicate it if they returned the same to me. In almost every case they respond with a change in behavior. I also always try to look beyond how they are treating me and look for the why.