[TammyWilson808]

We had a anencephalic baby born yesterday. This was my second one in my career and you never get used to it. Baby's face was macrosomic, distorted. Their precious angel had a heartrate for about 4-5 minutes and then passed. I labored mom all night then the floor got real busy real fast (if you're a L&D nurse, you know what I mean). She was on a PCA to alleviate the labor pain and discomfort.

I know it was my duty and honor to provide emotional support and medical support for mom and her family. Everyone in that room, familywise, was hoping for a miracle. Although their miracle didn't happen on that day, I told them that their miracle was going to be in another form somehow, somewhere.

I have been a L&D RN for 3 1/2 years. As time passes I know I will have the right things to say and to be more comforting to my patients. It's only now I conflict within myself to know if I'm being comforting to my patients. It'll come with experience. If anyone has some insights that you'd like to share with me I would be obliged. I have taken couple of classes on fetal bereavement, it just takes getting used to.

Aloha,
Tammy

[burger914]

Tammy..my heart goes out to you and the baby's family. It sounds like they were lucky to have you as their nurse.
Did they know ahead of time that the baby was anecephalic? I am just asking because I am 5 amd a half months pregnant and am soo worried ALL THE TIME!

[VivaLasViejas]

My own second child was anencephalic. There is nothing anyone can say that takes away this kind of pain......but I will never forget the kindness of the OB nurse who held my daughter in her arms when she passed on, nor that of the nurses who, along with my doctor, made sure I had everything I needed. Sometimes, the only way to help is to say "I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?".......and mean it.

[SmilingBluEyes]

well said mlj!

[BabyRN2Be]

Tammy, it sounds like you did a really great job. You will be remembered for it.

[kar212]

It sounds like you did a wonderful job! Good for you! I'm sure that wasn't easy. Just back in August, my baby was stillborn. She had been diagnosed with cystic hygroma and hydrops at 18 weeks. She lived another nine weeks. I was so thankful to have such wonderful nurses and a very kind doctor there for my husband and I.

Bless you.

[pghfoxfan]

Originally Posted by mjlrn97

My own second child was anencephalic. There is nothing anyone can say that takes away this kind of pain......but I will never forget the kindness of the OB nurse who held my daughter in her arms when she passed on, nor that of the nurses who, along with my doctor, made sure I had everything I needed. Sometimes, the only way to help is to say "I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?".......and mean it.

I Agree! Very nicely said. I would like to add one more thing...that is the power of touch. It is so important...as is looking into the persons eyes when you speak to them.

[jnette]

Originally Posted by pghfoxfan

I Agree! Very nicely said. I would like to add one more thing...that is the power of touch. It is so important...as is looking into the persons eyes when you speak to them.

Agree... I use both to truly convey a message from the heart.

Tammy... Bless you, bless you, bless you !!!

You L&D nurses and NICU nurses have all my respect and empathy. I just don't think my heart could bear it.

I pray for peace and comforting for this dear mom and dad. How terribly sad.

[?burntout]

This family will be in my thoughts....

[karenG]

how sad.........

by being there and supporting them you did all the right things. I dont think its something you ever get used to..... for me that was always the hardest thing about delivery- being with a woman knowing (both of us) that the baby would not live. I will admit to crying with the family afterwards.. maybe it helps them to know we too are affected it.

take care

Karen