[fergus51]

Does anyone know any good material (studies or stories or poems, etc.) about mothers who put up their child for adoption? I am specifically looking for how this affects their bonding with subsequent children and how OB nurses should behave, but any info would be helpful.

[nograd]

Try Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soal. The first edition has a couple of stories about adoption, I think there might even be one from a nurse's perspective.

Nicole

[fergus51]

That's such a good idea! I got that book for Xmas for my own mom and never even thought about it! Thanks

[mother/babyRN]

That is a great idea. We cry along with them. It isn't easy for anyone, but you have to give them all the credit in the world. What a selfless act.....

[SmilingBluEyes]

Depending on the case, I celebrate their decisions privately. I wish MORE would give up children for adoption these days, given the messed-up situations into which they will enter. Too many think of their baby as their "property" and would never give them up based on that belief. They often never once give ONE thought to a better life this child could have with a more giving, loving home (and no, I am not talking finances here). Openly I support them, hug them and remain VERY available to talk, importantly, LISTEN. Oh-- and if I remember correctly (it's been a long time since an adoption occured that I witnessed), Social Services provides them with some supportive literature regarding their decision. I will HAVE to check now, so I can be satisfied cause I just can't remember! Good thread!

[imenid37]

i have to say blue eyes, i agree with you. it must be very hard to give a baby up for adoption and i admire a mom in a difficult situation who gives her child up. i find a lot of times, or at least it seems like it anyway, that if they have enough sense to realize they are not in the best situation to raise the child, they'd probably do a better job caring for the child than the ones who would NEVER give up the child NO MATTER WHAT who live in deplorable situations. sorry i am long winded and probably don't make too much sense. what really annoys me is when the birth mom makes a decision to give up the child (after careful thought for months) and interferring relatives feel it is their duty to pressure or threaten her into changing her mind. arggghhhh!

[SmilingBluEyes]

Originally posted by imenid37
i what really annoys me is when the birth mom makes a decision to give up the child (after careful thought for months) and interferring relatives feel it is their duty to pressure or threaten her into changing her mind. arggghhhh!

ABSOLUTELY! this grinds my teeth like little else can!!! I hate it!

[cakarol]

I had planned on placing my little boy for adoption through my whole pregnancy, during labor and even during my recovery in the hospital. I didn't change my mind until the last minute and I'd have to say **for me personally** it was the best decision I've ever made. I'll look around for a few websites for you that I used to frequent during my pregnancy for support.
-Claire

[mother/babyRN]

[quote]Originally posted by imenid37
i have to say blue eyes, i agree with you. it must be very hard to give a baby up for adoption and i admire a mom in a difficult situation who gives her child up. i find a lot of times, or at least it seems like it anyway, that if they have enough sense to realize they are not in the best situation to raise the child, they'd probably do a better job caring for the child than the ones who would NEVER give up the child NO MATTER WHAT who live in deplorable situations. sorry i am long winded and probably don't make too much sense. what really annoys me is when the birth mom makes a decision to give up the child (after careful thought for months) and interferring relatives feel it is their duty to pressure or threaten her into changing her mind. arggghhhh!
It seems so difficult also when we have moms who have made this decision, still caring for their babies in the nursery prior to giving them up...I guess I admire the strength that must take...
Not long ago we had an adpotive mom learning how to breast feed. Now, that was interesting. Don't know if she ever got milk. She had never had a biological child....

[renerian]

Can I give mine up now......they are 22, 20, 19, 18 and 14??????? PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEE

renerian