[Montessori Mommy]

I graduated in May and began working on a very busy L & D unit in June. I love my job, and feel very blessed to work on such a wonderful unit.

My question: How do you deal with family members & friends who ask so many questions that patient care & education are affected?

We have a "family friendly" policy where the patient can decide who is in the room while they labor & deliver. I find this often compromises patient care. While I enjoy teaching patients and their support person (husband, FOB, mother, best friend, whoever...), I resent the constant interruptions of the other visitors. I especially have trouble when the questions include: What time will the baby come out?, Does the baby come out where she pees? Is giving birth always this gross and messy?

Last night a patient's cousin burst into the room during a patient's epidural, screaming because nobody had called her to say the patient was in labor. Another cousin of the patient was in labor down the hall, so there was a constant stream of family & friends in and out of the room, talking on their cell phones and asking questions. I spent more time dealing with the family & friends than the patient. Once the patient had her epidural, I threw everyone out so she could get some much needed rest. These people weren't there to support the patient, they were there for their own need to "be there". There was no hand holding, back rubbing or kind words for the laboring mom, just lots of socializing with each other.

How do you deal with this? I don't want to be rude to visitors, but my first obligation is my patient.

Thanks in advance.

[magz53]

I find this most difficult as well, having as many as 12-14 people in the room. Yes, it is a family celebration, but the hospital I work in has gone over the limit as far as "customer satisfaction." Makes us all look like fools when we have to squeeze between the oblivious crowd when we are tending to the patient. Wish I had a nickel for everytime I have to say "excuse me". Can't they see I am trying to get from point A to B and they are in the way ????? Forget privacy of any kind during exams or peri-care. If I can get the Mom alone, I ask her privately who she wants in the room, sometimes she IS overwhelmed and wants only her SO or may-be her Mom.

[BeccaznRN]

Originally Posted by magz53

If I can get the Mom alone, I ask her privately who she wants in the room, sometimes she IS overwhelmed and wants only her SO or may-be her Mom.

Most definitely agree with this statement! We allow only five people in the room, but it's very rare that it's enforced. I posted a similar comment not too long ago about how hard it is for me to understand why family/friends equate a laboring mother with a time to party. What we usually end up with are poor, tired Moms that have family in and out at all hours of the night "visiting," family/friends ordering pizza when she can't have anything but clears, watching TV at a ridiculously loud volume.....I could go on and on. Drives me up the wall!

I will always talk to Mom during an epidural placement (where only one person is allowed to stay in the room), and 9 out of 10 times I hear "we'd like some time to ourselves" or "you don't have to bring my family/friends back to the room right away." Most of the time, they are too nice to speak up if they want to be left alone. I have NO problem being the bad guy!

[Halinja]

Originally Posted by BeccaznRN

I will always talk to Mom during an epidural placement (where only one person is allowed to stay in the room), and 9 out of 10 times I hear "we'd like some time to ourselves" or "you don't have to bring my family/friends back to the room right away." Most of the time, they are too nice to speak up if they want to be left alone. I have NO problem being the bad guy!

I agree. Sometimes Mom will even say in a slow, reluctant way....oh, its okay. If I feel like what she's really saying is "I don't want them in here but I can't say so", I'll send 'em to the cafeteria, or say she needs a nap and they'll have to come back later.

'Mom' shouldn't have to be worrying about the feelings/attitudes/gripes of her 'support' people. This is about her. And if they interfere with her care....then that is an issue. A big issue. Ask them to please stay out of your work area. Tell them to leave a clear path to the patient. Once patient safety is an issue, it doesn't even matter if Mom does want them there. Do what you need to in order to provide safe and effective care.

[feebebe23]

I always get my mom and dad alone and set up the "secret password" If a mom hits the call light and asks for a "grape popsicle" that means get all these crazy people out of my room. (side note....we don't have grape popsicles) Every mom has apppreciated having this system. Yet they rarely use it....

As for answering questions....

When will the baby come out?
-If I knew the answer to that I wouldn't be working here....I would be making odds in vegas.

Does the baby come out where she pees?
-NO....if you log into YOUTUBE and put in "child birth" you can see videos of there they come out.

If child brith always messy and grosse?
-Yes....go see YOUTUBE for more info....

My advice......from the first time you walk into the room you have to ascert yourself and let them know who's in charge, or else they will walk all over you all day!!!