[cutecat]

I need some advice and was wondering if anyone has ever had an abortion and regretted it? Can you please tell me why you chose abortion and how you came to decide that was the best choice for you. I am currently facing the question of abortion myself but I don't think I can go through with it. I don't personally know anyone who has had one who I can talk to about this. Anything would be appreciated; I would not judge anyone.

[Marie_LPN]

The best answer i can give you is to talk to a counselor who's familiar with your situation. I believe that's the only way to ensure that you're going to get non-judgemental, unbiased answers (this is a very strong issue on this board).

Maybe this site will help to get you started on finding a counselor:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

[KaroSnowQueen]

I have not personally had one, although I came close about twenty some years ago. I found out I was pregnant when my baby was only six months old. I did not feel ready to have another baby physically, emotionally or financially. I seriously considered it for several weeks.
In the end my heart told me I was wrong. I did have that baby, and he is my only son, and a joy to me. I cannot imagine my life without him and I to even think that I contemplated not having him still to this day makes me physically ill.
Just my experience.

[Boe]

I have not, but I do know of a support board where other women are in the same position as you are (or had been).

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppabortgrf

[lizmatt]

I have not, but I have been in your shoes and it is a scary place to be. I actually had 3 appointments and each time something happened and I could not go. When I look at my children I am so thankful that my car broke down that third appointment. Anyway... you will get through this. This link is to a workbook that is supposed to be helpful.

http://www.ferre.org/workbook/index.html

Originally Posted by cutecat

I need some advice and was wondering if anyone has ever had an abortion and regretted it? Can you please tell me why you chose abortion and how you came to decide that was the best choice for you. I am currently facing the question of abortion myself but I don't think I can go through with it. I don't personally know anyone who has had one who I can talk to about this. Anything would be appreciated; I would not judge anyone.

cutecat,
I've had two abortions. Later I had two beautiful, healthy children whom I adore. I personally do not for a moment regret my abortions.

The first one was when I was 18 and in a relationship with a much older man. He "loved" me so much that he refused to use a condom, and I was waiting for an appt with health services to get birth control when I realized I was pregnant. I was in college and felt very sure that I could not have a baby. He wanted to get married and to this day I am convinced that I and my child would have suffered much before I would have eventually divorced (he's an alcoholic). After the abortion, I was able to break it off with him.

The second, I was 22 and was raped by a former boyfriend. He broke into my apartment while I was sleeping and held me down and raped me. I was too ashamed to report him and consequently did not get treated or get the morning after pill. When I went to the clinic for the abortion, I received the first compassionate care of my young life, including free STD testing and an empathetic ear.

Later, this is the clinic where I worked for the better part of a decade as an abortion counselor. If you want to ask questions about the procedure or anything, you can PM me. The suggestion to call PP is a good one; they can give you sound information on all sides of the issue. Any reputable clinic can offer you pregnancy options counseling, the point of which is to help you sort out what is best for YOU--not to tell you what to do.

good luck to you...I know it is a rough spot and I wish you the best.
ampersam

[kittylvr]

Originally Posted by cutecat

I need some advice and was wondering if anyone has ever had an abortion and regretted it? Can you please tell me why you chose abortion and how you came to decide that was the best choice for you. I am currently facing the question of abortion myself but I don't think I can go through with it. I don't personally know anyone who has had one who I can talk to about this. Anything would be appreciated; I would not judge anyone.

Hey cutecat if you want to talk, email me and I'll tell you my experience. Don't really want to talk about it in the main forum. I know you are facing a big decision and you need all the info you can get.

[Kyriaka]

Same as Kitty. I have emailed privately.

[hock1]

I chose to have my baby eight years ago. One girlfriend had an abortion and never regreted it. Another tormented herself about it still to this day. Yet another gave her child up for adoption. Two of us were married, two were not. It is such a personal choice. Sometimes pregnancy is so not convenient and sometimes downright at the most awful time. I agree with the counseling. It is usually free. At least where I went, I never felt presured about which direction to go. It was totally left for me to decide. Best wishes and remember it is up to you.

[KaroSnowQueen]

I couldn't get the link in apoole's post above to work so I found the page and am reposting the link:
http://www.ferre.org/workbook

This site takes you through all options, keeping the baby, abortion, adoption, also hits on birth defects, several religious viewpoints (both pro and anti), and on the possibility of grief and regret post abortion, as well as stories of those who felt it was the right decision. One of the very few sites I've seen that tries to cover all sides without much bias either way.

This is part of the site, I found it very interesting.

Will I regret an abortion? Self test.

Circle: 1) Not true for me
2) Somewhat true for me
3) Really true for me


1. I believe abortion is the same as murdering a born person 1 2 3
2. I am not sure if I am making the right decision 1 2 3
3. I don't want an abortion, but I have to have one 1 2 3
4. I know I will regret having an abortion 1 2 3
5. My parents are rejecting, critical, or abusive 1 2 3
6. The man involved is abusive, rejecting, and controlling 1 2 3
7. I think God will punish me for having an abortion 1 2 3
8. I will not be able to forgive myself for having an abortion 1 2 3
9. No one is giving me emotional support right now 1 2 3
10. Someone else is forcing me to have an abortion 1 2 3
11. I am never going to think about it again after it's over 1 2 3
12. I suffer from depression or diagnosed personality disorder 1 2 3

Add up your score. If it is 24 or over, you may want to do some more work, or see a counselor before you have an abortion.