[canoehead]

I was totally pro family and pro visiting until I did deliveries. I can't tell you how many times I've explained the guidelines, and everything on the blue table is sterile, don't touch, and no new visitors until the placenta is out and the doc has left the room, stay put if there is an emergency with mom or baby so we can get at the equipment and meds...Even the people I thought were going to make a good faith effort to restrain themselves somehow loose their minds when they see that baby, and then anything and everything is up for grabs.

People come in during resuscitations because they can't hear what's going on, they listen through the crack in the door to mom screaming, they push you out of the way so they can get good pics, they complain about the wait when the mom is being stitched up, extra nurses run into the room and they whine that the hospital added more people, after we told THEM there was no room. (*****) They ask you to move the bag and mask so they can see the baby, they run over to hold the baby before mom and dad have a chance, they lie on the floor and complain there are no comfortabke chairs or cots in the hall. Once mom has said who she wants in the room they keep begging until mom says "I don't care" and the nurse gets a triumphant look, while the dad shrugs. (My hospital had no security and no rules, lol)

Then no one seems to get that if mom has spent 12-14 hours in labor she is TIRED. The parade starts, I swear, no exceptions, at 8AM and goes on until 10PM or we kick them out. So mom is trying to breastfeed, on 36 hours awake, and with an audience. If she's really lucky the MIL will be right there making suggestions until the old wives tales and actual information just becomes a blur in her mind.

I never actively hated visitors until I worked OB. ER/ICU visitors can be in the way, but they don't actively interfere (usually), and I loved family coming in to pediatrics and med/surg, even the crazy ones.

OB needs locked doors, and a nasty security guard at every entrance.

[nurturing_angel]

My experiences exactly. Except I just tell them they can't stand in the hall because it is mandated by the state fire marshall. Works like a charm most of the time.
And we have locked doors to the unit and I make use of them during my shifts.

[bagladyrn]

I'll see all of the above and raise you the 4 year old with the snot running down his face, coughing on everyone, whose auntie decides to take him over to the postpartum room(while mom is laboring) and tuck him (filthy clothes, shoes and all) into the other patient bed in that room - and leaves him ALONE in there. This after she has been told repeatedly that she or someone needs to take him home!
Or the guy who shows up at 2 a.m. (closing time) wanting to visit the girl who delivered at 11 and is just now getting some sleep. Claims to be her brother (NOT), and becomes highly verbally abusive when I refuse to let him in. Patient and I had already talked that I would let her sleep and not even put calls through the rest of the night.
I've frequently thought that new OB units should be redesigned like the pictures of the old "operating theaters" from past centuries - with stadium seating!

[lisamct]

Our women are only able to have 1 person with them during labour and birth. That rule is very occasionally relaxed to allow 2 people to come along but that has to be arranged prior to 'the event' and in writing with our labour ward co-ordinator. Also, under no circumstances are children allowed in our labour rooms.
Other than birth partners we do not allow anyone to wait in our labour ward. We do have a waiting room but it is for birth partners use only if they want to get a bit of a break for 10 minutes and not for other relatives to wait in.

I always though our rules were a bit strict but reading all your tales makes me kinda glad we have them.

[SavingSage211]

Im not an OB nurse yet (still in school) but I know how it feels to be on the other side of the fence. When I was scheduled to be induced by fiance mentioned it to his mother. Lo and behold, his mom, her boyfriend, his 2 sisters, thier 3 kids (toddlers, at that) and their husbands BEAT US TO THE HOSPITAL. I was mortified, and after saying fifteen times that I just wanted to go to sleep and that we would call if there were any changes (I WAS BEING INDUCED.. it ended up taking 18 hours!) they finally got the hint, got pee'd off and left. My fiances mom still holds that against me, 2 years later.

Im still kinda bitter that my nurse (who was beside me the entire time and heard the whole tyraid) didnt stand up for me and kick them out. Im sure they were just as (if not more) annoying to her as they were to me. Maybe she needed a neon sign. Or maybe I should have just asked her to help. Oh well.

[Michigan RN]

Originally Posted by suanna

I'm not OB/GYN but critical care- we have the same problem. Ater a woman walked in and startled her fresh post op CABG husband awake for the 3rd time in 2 hrs- on the vent, multiple drips, bleeding... I explained that that type of visiting is against the poicy -for the umpteenth time. Of course we got the "but I'm his wife- so the rules don't apply to me" argument. I was having a harder and harder time managing to keep him stable with her visits. I then explained that her husband was likely to die if she kept comming in like that and it that was her intention could she please get the information together for the funeral home and bring it to us with her next pop-in visit. We only saw her during visiting hrs after that. Sometimes you have to hit them over the head to get thier attention. I can only guess it's ten times worse in L&D.

Yeah, I work in ICU too. We had a 22yo girl that was t-boned in a car accident. C-collar, vent, in ARDS, on APRV, doing really crappy. So another nurse and I are bathing and the family just walks in. I politely told the mother that they need to call back to make sure with the RN that its ok to come back because well, the patient could be naken. The patient was totally naked when the mother and 4 other family members just came into the room. I got the "this is my daughter, i've seen her naked when she was a baby" arguement. Me-"Ya know what lady, she's 22 years old. Let her maintain some dignity and privacy."

Oh and today, i have a 94yo lady who has bilateral leg fractures and she's NPO. Doc orders a regular diet then NPO after midnight. Call at 3:30pm to get a late tray, by 4pm it still hasn't arrived. Family is whining "don't they care that she hasn't eaten in 48 hours"..Me- "No they don't. They are trying to get dinner prepared, which will be at 5pm"....Really, one more hour of not eating isn't going to kill her.

To all the OB nurses, when and if I ever have a baby, I promise only two people will be with me at my bedside. My husband(if I ever find one) and my mother. Something about having my legs in stir-ups and spread wide open doesn't really put me in the greatest of moods.

[Vikingkitten]

[quote=ktwlpn;2780226]

Originally Posted by santhony44

Personally, I've never grasped the concept of childbirth as a spectator event. If you weren't there at the conception, I didn't want you there for the delivery, unless you were medically necessary. QUOTE > That is spank-my- butt funny! No consortium needed during my labor and delivery ,either.Comes the time to grow up and away from mommy,too. I think it's a great bonding op for the couple..Not MIL,SIL <BF and HUBBY .Why can't the baby daddy be allowed to handle it all alone?

I agreed with you right up to the Clinton remark. Don't want to get into a political discussion, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

[Vikingkitten]

Originally Posted by canoehead

I was totally pro family and pro visiting until I did deliveries. I can't tell you how many times I've explained the guidelines, and everything on the blue table is sterile, don't touch, and no new visitors until the placenta is out and the doc has left the room, stay put if there is an emergency with mom or baby so we can get at the equipment and meds...Even the people I thought were going to make a good faith effort to restrain themselves somehow loose their minds when they see that baby, and then anything and everything is up for grabs.

People come in during resuscitations because they can't hear what's going on, they listen through the crack in the door to mom screaming, they push you out of the way so they can get good pics, they complain about the wait when the mom is being stitched up, extra nurses run into the room and they whine that the hospital added more people, after we told THEM there was no room. (*****) They ask you to move the bag and mask so they can see the baby, they run over to hold the baby before mom and dad have a chance, they lie on the floor and complain there are no comfortabke chairs or cots in the hall. Once mom has said who she wants in the room they keep begging until mom says "I don't care" and the nurse gets a triumphant look, while the dad shrugs. (My hospital had no security and no rules, lol)

Then no one seems to get that if mom has spent 12-14 hours in labor she is TIRED. The parade starts, I swear, no exceptions, at 8AM and goes on until 10PM or we kick them out. So mom is trying to breastfeed, on 36 hours awake, and with an audience. If she's really lucky the MIL will be right there making suggestions until the old wives tales and actual information just becomes a blur in her mind.

I never actively hated visitors until I worked OB. ER/ICU visitors can be in the way, but they don't actively interfere (usually), and I loved family coming in to pediatrics and med/surg, even the crazy ones.

OB needs locked doors, and a nasty security guard at every entrance.

I totally agree with you about visitors. It's as if they have some God-Given right to be present just because a baby is being born. Have had to, in my career, endure the MIL with all the birthing horror stories that would make Steven King sick, the "trickle in " effect, the constant demand for goods and services ( you should have seen the look on the MIL I had to tell that I "already have a patient"), havign to re-set my sterile table because someone kept picking up the instruments to try to gross-out the other visitors in the room................ thanks for letting me rant.
"And now, something completely different"

[lupin]

I'm in ER but it's not that much different. We see pregnancies going bad and all that, mostly miscarriages with mom, mom's mom, sisters, baby daddy, ex-husband/boyfriend and whatever drunken friend drove them all there trying to stay in for the pelvic exam. We had a 19 weeker miscarriage during the pelvic (I'm assisting the NP and was about 18 weeks along myself, never seen that type of miscarriage before, god it looked like a regular little baby, not a glob) with just the boyfriend and mom in the room, thankfully. But as soon as they realized what was going on they both ran out into the hallway screaming that she miscarried and was bleeding to death and I'm standing in a puddle of fluid trying not to freak completely out when the NP graciously leaned over to me and told me to leave and to get the doc in there now. I did exactly that and then went and cried for about 20 minutes in the bathroom. We ER nurses have a fear of pregnant women and I have seen other ER nurses running with a stretcher all the way to the delivery floor while the "immaculate conception" delivering mom is saying that she needs to push and they''re screaming "No you don't!" back at her.
However, I am supposed to deliver June and I have already discussed with the family who I want in there. My husband's family lives in another state and the MIL is "afraid to fly" so she won't be there. My mom and dad want to be in the waiting room, but they have wifi and tv's and a pull out couch for families at our delivery unit. My bro is a nursing student and he asked me very nervously if I wanted him to help out. I told him NO! He was very thankful of that as he's going into ER nursing too.
AS for afterward, I have always been able to get my point across when I want something so if I want rest, I will get rest. I know the security guards personally.

[RN2B73]

I just have to say...love love love the name, at your cervix! I'm still a student but I can't wait to have a day like you described. I'm sure at some point I will feel the same way but right now I'm just excited!