[q12RN]

Hello, Ive been a med/surg RN for about 1 1/2 yrs. I just applied for an OB/GYN position. Now that it looks like im gonna get the job I wonder if I can handle it. Mostly..can I handle the losses? I have 4 children of my own and 1 miscarriage and cant fathom a baby born dead. Is there enough Ativan out there to help? How do you guys cope when things go wrong?

[jamerss]

Do not even attempt to accept this job!!! If you have to question about handling fetal demise and to even mention ativan- this job is not for you. I am sure you've probably handled post mortem care on the medsurg unit and I don't know how you've handled that

[q12RN]

Post mortem care doesnt bother me so bad when the pt is older. I have never dealt with a baby, so I'm not sure that I could handle it. Ativan is something we joke about at work so when someone gets stressed out we tell each other that they need some ativan "just joking". I may infact reconsider taking the job.

Originally Posted by jamerss

Do not even attempt to accept this job!!! If you have to question about handling fetal demise and to even mention ativan- this job is not for you. I am sure you've probably handled post mortem care on the medsurg unit and I don't know how you've handled that

[RNKitty]

I work on a unit that does about 200 deliveries a month. I usually only care for a demise twice year. In my 8 hour shift, I have managed not to actually be at the delivery for about 4 years now. I usually manage to get through the shift okay, but end up crying on the way home. Sometimes after a delivery I even have nightmares. However, I'm still able to care for my patients. There is grief support to offer the woman, and I find the nurses who have had a demise or miscarriage themselves give extremely compassionate care. You can always offer to take the hardest assignment or most complicated patient instead of the demise.

I, however, do not do terminations. I have signed a form every place I work stating that I will not be involved in the care of a woman having a termination. Thankfully, I now work at a Catholic hospital, and terminations are not performed.

There are so many wonderful moments in OB. Don't give it up without trying it if you are interested. Good luck.

[NurseforPreggers]

Originally Posted by jamerss

Do not even attempt to accept this job!!! If you have to question about handling fetal demise and to even mention ativan- this job is not for you. I am sure you've probably handled post mortem care on the medsurg unit and I don't know how you've handled that

Wow, this sounds quite harsh! Handling demises are not easy, but you know what? .. Its not about you! Its about giving the mother excellent loving care and helping her begin the grief process. Its ok to be sad, its ok to cry. You will be able to handle it, because it has to be done. I think you will be an excellent OB nurse. No one likes demises, but helping the parents begin the healing process can be very rewarding.

[q12RN]

Thanks. I am still weighing my options, but I can give it a try and if I dont like it then I only have to do it for 6 months. OB Is what I started nursing for, and now I have a chance to do it. I just pray that God will give me strength to handle any situation that comes my way. Wow, 200 deliveries is alot compared to my small hospital.

Originally Posted by RNKitty

I work on a unit that does about 200 deliveries a month. I usually only care for a demise twice year. In my 8 hour shift, I have managed not to actually be at the delivery for about 4 years now. I usually manage to get through the shift okay, but end up crying on the way home. Sometimes after a delivery I even have nightmares. However, I'm still able to care for my patients. There is grief support to offer the woman, and I find the nurses who have had a demise or miscarriage themselves give extremely compassionate care. You can always offer to take the hardest assignment or most complicated patient instead of the demise.

I, however, do not do terminations. I have signed a form every place I work stating that I will not be involved in the care of a woman having a termination. Thankfully, I now work at a Catholic hospital, and terminations are not performed.

There are so many wonderful moments in OB. Don't give it up without trying it if you are interested. Good luck.

[q12RN]

Thanks so much for your confidence! You are right! Its not about me and how I feel, I can feel later; it IS about the parents and the baby. Im about 4 months postpartum myself so Maybe some of my feelings are just from that

Originally Posted by NurseforPreggers

Wow, this sounds quite harsh! Handling demises are not easy, but you know what? .. Its not about you! Its about giving the mother excellent loving care and helping her begin the grief process. Its ok to be sad, its ok to cry. You will be able to handle it, because it has to be done. I think you will be an excellent OB nurse. No one likes demises, but helping the parents begin the healing process can be very rewarding.

[SmilingBluEyes]

get yourself to grief seminars that discuss fetal/neonatal death and how to handle families that face this first. Then decide if this is for you.-----it's too much for some. But the joys FAR outweigh the sadnesses, that much I will say. I love my job, despite enduring numerous losses of my own; I seem to be able to relate in a geniune way that seems to help me bond w/these families. There is always an up side.

[babyktchr]

Originally Posted by jamerss

Do not even attempt to accept this job!!! If you have to question about handling fetal demise and to even mention ativan- this job is not for you. I am sure you've probably handled post mortem care on the medsurg unit and I don't know how you've handled that

In the larger scheme of things...handling a demise shouldn't be an "easy" thing. I would never want to become so desensitized that a baby death would become like, say, starting an IV. Some things in life are supposed to be hard, that is how we grow. This is one part. Now, I am not saying it is the best thing about OB, but it also doesn't happen every day. (although, my week last week was to the contrary) As SBE said, there is much more to OB than that, and there are greater joys in OB by far. I have to tell you though, the bonding and level of care you learn to give at that horrible time lead me to become a bereavement counselor at my facility. I don't want to say that I love dealing with those who have losses, but it is a calling to me.

There are many many experiences in OB nursing. Don't limit your experiences because of one aspect.

[babyktchr]

Originally Posted by babyktchr

In the larger scheme of things...handling a demise shouldn't be an "easy" thing. I would never want to become so desensitized that a baby death would become like, say, starting an IV. Some things in life are supposed to be hard, that is how we grow. This is one part. Now, I am not saying it is the best thing about OB, but it also doesn't happen every day. (although, my week last week was to the contrary) As SBE said, there is much more to OB than that, and there are greater joys in OB by far. I have to tell you though, the bonding and level of care you learn to give at that horrible time lead me to become a bereavement counselor at my facility. I don't want to say that I love dealing with those who have losses, but it is a calling to me.

There are many many experiences in OB nursing. Don't limit your experiences because of one aspect.

....oh yeah...one of the greatest joys is when a patient that you were with when they had a loss, comes back and has a beautiful delivery of a healthy newborn, and you are there, not once, but twice.

Guess what..??

.....you cry then too!!!