[JUSTYSMOM]

Hi,

I had my son when I had just turned 32. So I was 31, when I got pregnant.

My hubby & I are contemplating having a second child. I am currently 36 (almost 37 years old). Is this considered "old" to be having a child nowadays? What kind of complications (if any) have you seen with pregnant women in their late 30's-40's?

I am feeling pressure to get going on # 2, before it's too late. My situation is that I need IVF to get pregnant (no fallopian tubes due to ectopic pregnancys).

Please give me your opinion, experience, advise for us "older" moms.

PS- just curious..what was the age of the oldest patient you took care of? How about the youngest?

Thanks
Julie

[nekhismom]

A girl in my class just had a baby with IVF. She is 37. She had PIH, but other than that, she didn't have any other problems. Of course, I wasn't there for the delivery, so I don't know how that went.

[Dixen81]

I had my first two children when I was 20 and 22 years old, and my last one at 38 years old. BIG DIFFERENCE! It took 3 years to conceive this last one (I didn't want IVF), and the pregnancy was much harder on me (the first two were a piece of cake). Then, being older, your body doesn't bounce back in shape as easy as when you're young. Also, there are more risks for complications with you or the baby, but thankfully, we had none.
Now on the plus side...having a baby at a later age is wonderful!! I won't speak for everyone, but in my case, now that I'm older, I'm much more patient with this one, so I enjoy him so much more. I also have come to realize how fast time flies, so I savor more moments with this child than I did with the first two. I used to think that at 42 I would "be free" and could do what I want...well, now I'm 42, doing what I want, and not regretting "starting over" with another baby at all. It's great!
Best wishes to you and your hubby!

[Mimi2RN]

We have had several 46 y/o's, who have had a surprise tag-along baby. One mom and dad had twins, his first, her other two were in their 20's. She knew she was too old to get pregnant!

[Dixen81]

I forgot to mention that although it took 3 years for my hubby and I to conceive our last child (actually, my last, his first), my twin sister got pregnant during that time when she was 36 years years old and had been on the pill forever. Boy, she was mad at the time, (and so was I, cause I'm the one who had been trying!) but she fell in love with that baby way before she was born! It's funny how it turned out; we both have grown children, a grandchild (she has two), and now have two little ones again. Needless to say, it's never boring around here.

[rdhdnrs]

I think the oldest we've had in clinic was 55. Donated egg, etc. I think if I was "advanced maternal age" I'd be sure and do the amnio, etc. The complications are increased risk of PIH, diabetes, Down syndrome. But it can certainly be done. Good luck.

[Tiki_Torch]

JustysMom,

I too have no fallopian tubes and would need IVF to conceive. I married my second husband the same month as my 40th birthday. Five months later we saw a Reproductive Endocrinologist who, through lots of testing on both of us, recommended IVF with donor eggs. Turns out my eggs would be too fragile and old to survive the IVF procedure. There's nothing like being told your basket is full of dinosaur eggs to make you feel old during your 40th year!!!

Anyway, my husband and I had made some decisions before we went to see the doctor. We decided how much money we would be willing to spend, that we would be willing to try IVF if the doctor recommended it, and that we only wanted to use our own eggs & sperm. When my FSH level came back so high, that qualified us for "The Donor Egg Speech". We were able to thank the very kind and helpful physician for all she had done to help but we declined the offer. We both felt deeply that if we had a child we wanted it to be completely genetically our own... that's just our personal preference. The donor eggs cost thousands of dollars on top of the IVF and many people are not successful on their first attempt... usually it takes 3-5 cycles from what I understand.

I'd say that if you believe you need IVF, then run, don't walk to the nearest Reproductive Endocrinologist! By age 25-27 our eggs begin to show signs that they aren't as healthy and by 35 things can get really iiffy. It seems a lot depends on how healthy you have been during your life so far from the stories I've heard... healthier women seem to have healthier eggs/bodies for reproduction. This isn't always true though and a lot of times women's reproductive health is similar to what their Mom's was.

Please let me suggest the web site http://www.inciid.org which is a wonderful place for people who are having issues surrounding conception. It's a fantastic and safe place to get loads of useful and current information as well as compassionate and empathetic cyber-friendships.

Best wishes for your future!!!

[cheerfuldoer]

I don't see anything wrong in women having babies when they are older (over 40) if that is what they want. Me personally...I had my 3 children in my late teens and twenties, and today at 51 I'm glad I did. When I keep my grandchildren...even one at a time...it wears me out. The ENERGY those little tyrants have. Gives me quite a workout that's for sure. However, I had an auntie who had a baby when she was just a few years older than I am now, and her baby was one healthy youngun'! Shocked my aunt and uncle since their youngest child had just turned 20 and joined the Navy. They just KNEW they were "child free" and ready to enjoy retirement. HA! Surprise!

[studentdeb]

I had my first child at age 35 and my 2nd child at 38 both conceived via intrauterine insemination and the 2nd using injectables. Both children are very healthy, I had no problems with the pregnancy, I did not let them do any tests to see if the babies had problems and I had no problems with either birth.

If you are in good health, I say go for it.

[CseMgr1]

Originally posted by cheerfuldoer
I don't see anything wrong in women having babies when they are older (over 40) if that is what they want. Me personally...I had my 3 children in my late teens and twenties, and today at 51 I'm glad I did. When I keep my grandchildren...even one at a time...it wears me out. The ENERGY those little tyrants have. Gives me quite a workout that's for sure. However, I had an auntie who had a baby when she was just a few years older than I am now, and her baby was one healthy youngun'! Shocked my aunt and uncle since their youngest child had just turned 20 and joined the Navy. They just KNEW they were "child free" and ready to enjoy retirement. HA! Surprise!

My grandmother was 46 when she had my Dad (he was the youngest of six kids)! I was 26, when I had my baby (he will be 26 this December, and HALF as old as me). I know the feeling about those grandbabies...I have two, myself, and as the old saying goes: it's nice to have them visit, then spoil them and be able to send them home!