[cherokeesummer]

Hi all my fave nicu nurses! I have been away for a bit because I was feeling low and even a bit ashamed of myself for awhile. I wanted so bad to be a NICU nurse especially after having spent my senior internship in a nicu and enjoying myself. I went on and got a job as a new grad in a big nicu and thought it would be great for me to learn, I knew it would be hard but it was really harder than I imagined, I got to the point where I was physically ill before going in to work, my blood sugar was sky high (I'm a type I diabetic) and then I would just cry before leaving home, it was odd. And totally not like me. I finally realized that it was too much for me, I was trying to figure out how to be a good nurse and then I was trying to deal with the day to day things. Granted NICU is hard everywhere but the one I was in was sooooo mcuh different than the one I was in during school - different hospital. Smaller hospital in school. The one I worked in was a teaching hospital with new residents all the time, tons of faces and a desperate need for nurses b/c of the increasing census and acuity level and such.

So I (along with a handful of others) asked to be transferred and thankfully was. To a different unit. I miss the NICU sometimes b/c I do still feel that it is in me but I just had to step back. So I felt bad for coming back here and was avoiding it for awhile but I still feel a part of it. In the future I am possibly going to be transitioning to a mother/baby unit but for now I'm working in peds and its a lot less stressful but I do know that I will eventually be back with babies, probably mother/baby first and then go back to nicu once I've become more comfortable being an RN.

So if its alright with you all, I'll keep poking my head in here to read and learn, I was a NICU nurse for 5 weeks so I will still hold my head high on that part, and now I'm doing peds so I'm still affecting the lives of children, just not only the small ones.

On a side note, God Bless you all - its tough and stressful work. I know that once I have my basic nursing skills and organization under control I can once again venture to critical care but wowsa and congrats on those of you that are doing it all from the start like I tried. Its tough but I know its worth it.

[WeeBabyRN]

Good to hear from you, I wondered where you were. You did what was best for you, nothing wrong with that, it isn't worth being physically ill. Also, I don't think you 'stepped down' to say that implies that the job you have now isn't as important as the one you did before. You have proven yourself to be extremely compassionate and I am sure that you are a blessing to your patients on the general peds floor. Good luck and stick around!

[Kimbalou]

Welcome back! There is no problem at all with stepping back to a position you're more comfortable with. After maybe a year on peds, you will feel more confident and maybe try NICU again.

Good luck

[bubbly]

Awwww you are leaving??!!! I enjoyed relating to another NICU newbie like yourself. Well I hope you are enjoying peds because no job is worth your happiness and wellbeing. I hope peds will help boost your confidence so maybe you can tackle the sick little babies another time! Best of luck to you and hopefully I will still see your posts in the first year of nursing forum LOL

[cherokeesummer]

Awe thanks ya'll. Yeah I will be sticking around for sure. I do intend on returning to the babies one day but for now I figured I needed to get some confidence in care period without the constant life or death threat. Maybe it was just that particular Nicu as I didn't feel that way in the one where I did my senior preceptorship but then again, I was a student then and am now official LOL.

I will definately be reading and posting here though b/c I do want to return to it one day!