[Hanabna]

Originally Posted by danissa

Like the set of parents we have right now, their baby is in the ICU room, lines etc , but will be a short term stay, compared to the 24 week, now 30 week tiny in the next bed space. These parents come in, are so loud..bring the 4 yr old sibling from haades, who I swear, flashed his eyes at me red, when Iasked him to sit on his behind and stop jumping and touching stuff!! Anyhow, today, my wee tiny is out for kangaroo care with her mammy, all nice and quiet, after 3 days of being unwell, and this family come in and totally spoil the quality of the cuddles for the mammy and baby who needed it so! They are an obnoxious family, gentle hints dont work, and their noisy behaviour had an effect on the really sick preemie who needed time out with her mother.
How do you guys handle such loud families...(apart from tripping up the "damien" boy, so they HAVE to leave to visit the emergency room???) (am only kidding about tripping him up btw..well, I THINK I am!)
I never feel like this about families, Ilove the kiddos that visit, but this family are so disrespectful of whats happening around them, I'm going every time they come in. Any tips on tactfulness guys????

Why can't you tell them it is mandatory to be quiet in the NICU? Trust me...I know how people can be. They have NO SENSE. They just shout and are so loud and have no respect for those around them. Sure they act offended when you tell them to shut up, but it gets the job done.

[yappymutts]

We allow sibling visitation in our NICU, starting at the ager of 2 1/2. Visiting is strictly controlled, especially for the younger siblings. We also have a very large box of supplies that was put together by the nurses, called, simply, "Things for siblings of babies to do". We have coloring books, crayons, markers, stickers, extra paper for them to scribble on, etc. We ask them if they'd like to make something for their little brother or sister.
If children are disruptive, we call the Coordinator, and the family is asked to leave. We are a huge unit, average census is 80. We limit visitors to the bedside to 2 at a time.
We have a sibling visitation checklist, and guidelines for the parents. If the guidelines aren't followed, they are asked to leave. And yes, we have had situations where we have involved our social worker, security, and the shift Supervisor to escort a disruptive family out of the unit. We have also had parents who have threatened staff, and this is not tolerated by our hospital. They may be banned from coming to the unit unless escorted by one of our security officers.

[elizabells]

Originally Posted by Hanabna

Why can't you tell them it is mandatory to be quiet in the NICU?

Because then they complain to the big bosses, and you get a talking to about how "we promote Family-Centered Care here". Trust me, if you worked on a unit like this, you'd understand how some of us are too cowed to tell a family ANYTHING. The few rules we DO have (and there aren't many) aren't enforced at all, and if you try you're a "mean nurse" and not Family-Centered. All that happens is you get fired from that baby (oh, darn, such a punishment) and the same behavior continues.

[swiss brian]

we often have problems like this, mainly families of turkish/south european origin (not meant in a racist way) Sometimes it feels that the nurses are the ventilation point for the fear and fustration.
our policy is, if they disturb the other parents or the general atmosphere, we speak to them alone about it and try to come to an arrangement. if this doesnt work, we limit the visitors to 2 at a time, and then mainly for kangaroo care. people are quieter and more restrained when its there own baby

[caroladybelle]

Originally Posted by danissa

How do you guys handle such loud families...(apart from tripping up the "damien" boy, so they HAVE to leave to visit the emergency room???) (am only kidding about tripping him up btw..well, I THINK I am!)
I never feel like this about families, Ilove the kiddos that visit, but this family are so disrespectful of whats happening around them, I'm going every time they come in. Any tips on tactfulness guys????

I am in the US on oncology, and in the last week, have had 3 separate incidents of "Damiens" in the hall, wearing heelies and rolling down the hall.

(Heelies -those annoying noisy shoes with skates in them).

It's an Oncology floor, and they are skating, screaming, and playing tag, meamwhile wiping their running nose on their sleeves.

Not a parent in sight...they are in the room with kids in the hall.

And if I remind them that kids under the age of 12 are not permitted, they will launch in to a crying jag about how heartless I am because their Mother/brother/cousin/grammy/bridge partner/mah-jong friend/caddy has got CANCER, and they just have to visit.

(It's an onco floor - EVERYONE has cancer)

So why are the kids in the hall.....so the nurse can watch'em?

Why do they come to the hospital in HEELIES?

Why can't they shut up and getting playing "slap games" at each other until someone cries or draws blood.

WHY THE HE77 do you bring sniffly, sneezy, runny nosed kids onto an immunosuppression floor, where they can trip nurses carrying vesicant chemo, play in the isolation garbage, try to pull the needle case off the wall by hanging off it and doing pullups, or dump the contents of the chemo waste can on the floor?

And, I the nurse is the heartless one.

[RainDreamer]

Originally Posted by elizabells

All that happens is you get fired from that baby (oh, darn, such a punishment) and the same behavior continues.

We had one mom that was so bad, nurses were putting themselves on the mom's "crap list" so they didn't have to watch her baby!

[ChayaN]

Originally Posted by elizabells

We had a mother refuse to stop taking pictures of her (CPAP) baby while they were (unsuccessfully) coding her podmate. Her response was that her baby was just as sick as every other baby in the unit. At that time, that was... not true. It was true later on, though.

Eeek. I wonder if she gave herself bad luck by making that comment. Like, watch it with the sense of entitlement due to illness, because you may end up with just what you wanted.

[NICUandLearning]

We had this one family that was a teenage (14) mother and her mother (proud grandma) who hated each other and had loud arguments on the unit, they were spoken to multiple times but we are "Family Centered" and the behavior continued. The baby was a 24 weeker who did relatively well.

I remember one time the teenage mother came to visit after she was found from running away from her mom and was happy that she was getting to feed her baby for the first time. She was still arguing with her mother when the baby next to hers was actively passing away, coded multiple times.

I wanted to ask them to leave the unit.

[WeeBabyRN]

Originally Posted by RainDreamer

We had one mom that was so bad, nurses were putting themselves on the mom's "crap list" so they didn't have to watch her baby!

I'm at that point right now with one of our moms. I feel bad for saying it, but she is so mean. Instead of just asking for something she asks, then starts in on a nasty diatribe about it. I try to be sympathetic, who knows how I would act if it were my baby. But, I am not her doormat either, she always requests me. Yesterday she was telling me what 'types' of nurses she didn't want. She treats everyone like dirt. I am going to put myself as a pirmary on a baby at the other end of the nursery, I like him and his parents a lot, they always make a point of saying hi to me and giving me updates when I see them.

[KatRN25]

I am a new grad and have been working on the unit for a total of 4 months. I am having a hard time finding the right words to use when telling parents to quiet down, or bring their other children in the waiting room. I wish I could just assertively tell them, but I am afraid to be the "mean" nurse and have it be reported to the nurse manager so early in my new job (my nurse manager highly values parent satisfaction surveys). On the other hand I would rather be reported as a mean nurse because I know I would be doing whats right by advocating for my patient. Yet, this is still one of my harder obstacles as a new grad.