[weezledawg]

So, here's my story ...

Been in a lot of trouble locally. Went to rehab, got better. Did a lot of 12-step work. Got into service. Went to nursing school. First week we had to bring three things that represented ourselves. I brought my nursing book, an article I had written (I worked for a local paper) and my clean-time medallion. I was already too well-known in the community as a recovering addict to be "anonymous" about it.

Through all of this, I thought I couldn't be a nurse. Sweated it the whole way through. All others in class got their IP, not me. Waited FOREVER. Got millions of reference letters and supporting documentation of rehabilitation gathered up for me. Finally was allowed to take my boards and become an RN.

Went to work for local hospital. I came to them and told them about my history, she looked at me and told me she already knew. She was close friends with an NP who treated me while I was in rehab. She told me she was really proud of me and that my experience could help others, especially in this impoverished community.

Today I see many patients that I also see in the rooms. Also family members who know me from there. I have to be able to talk about recovery as I know it -- a life-altering experience that I draw tremendous spirituality and hope from.

The most difficult thing I deal with? I have to work hard to accept that not everyone wants what I have. Some are just not ready to do something different. Can make it hard to treat those who continually abuse themselves.

When I hear that inner voice that tells me I am less than, shameful or not deserving of the honor of being a nurse, I know today that it is just my disease talking.

Who I am at work is who I am at home and who I am in recovery. They are all the same person. It wouldn't work any other way for me.

[weezledawg]

BTW, I do not make it a habit of disclosing to patients and families about my history. I too, felt like I would be hiding something to keep that quiet in school. Most of the time my history does not pertain to the care I provide. I have only talked with a few patients about myself personally. This also goes for any other item of a personal nature. I don't tell them all about my kids, spouse, surgeries, blah blah blah. I am there to care for them. Not talk about myself.

BUT, if they already know me or learn of me somehow, then it's not like it was a secret. Some I tell, and then I have been directly asked by a patient about involvement in 12-step programs, and my reply was "I guess you would have to go to a meeting to see if I go too." Huge smile. I can talk all day about the benefits of 12-step programs without talking about myself. "The fellowship here is really strong," "I have seen many people have great success with attendance at meetings," and on and on.

I guess it all depends on the patient ... I agree with what others said in earlier posts about disclosure being situational. I suppose what I am really trying to say is that personal details about myself, including my recovery are selectively given depending on the situation. I have to ask myself, "What is my motive?" I have to satisfy the requirement that some element of the disclosure may benefit the patient. Otherwise the information does not apply and may not be appropriate.

[BinkieRN]

There's no reason to tell anyone that you are in recovery. If and when you're ready to divulge that information you'll know. Until that time keep it to yourself and only share with AA members, family or friends outside of work that you know can keep their mouths shut.

Congratulations and Kudos to you on your recovery