[TazziRN]

I'm reliving the pain of early recovery through my daughter, things that I had forgotten about. I had warned her in the beginning that as time went on and she got sober, she would change. If the people closest to her didn't change with her, they would drift apart. We were hoping (and believed) that her best friend would see what was happening to her and follow her into recovery.

Twice now the best friend has tried to talk DD into going to raves, telling her that "I know how you can beat your pee tests". This morning I told DD that it might be time to stay apart from this friend for a while, until she has her recovery feet a little more firmly underneath her. She agreed so quickly that it tells me she's scared....scared to be around this friend right now. What's ironic is that DD told me she's the one who got this friend into using in the first place!

[allimariee]

I can think of at least one, if not two people that I introduced to using when I was younger and now that I'm clean, I've had to distance myself from because they are still active. It's hard, because at times I blame myself for their problems, but in the end, they did make the choice to pick up that first drug with me, you know? It's always our choice, especially in the beginning before physical/psychological addiction kicks in.

[Tweety]

Yep, gotta change those playgrounds an playmates and that can be hard.

[*tattooed~princess*]

WOW- this is right on time- a total God thing for me... I have been working with my sponsor on a grief issue directly related to this post... I am 22 and have had to basically cut off all of my friends... some "friends" were nothing more than using buddies but some had been friends for several years before the using. I moved away after treatment and have had a hard time these last couple of years. I miss "my girls" and know that even now with a few 24 hrs under my belt- it would just be irresponsible of me to try and re-establish those friendships- even from a distance. I have spoken with Samme (my closest and best friend) only 3 or 4 since I've been clean.. once to make amends and a couple other times when friends of ours died- my reality is that if I try to get that friendship back I could be the one who dies.... Samme drinks but is not an addict- this is why I have a hard time- I don't know where I'm going with this- I just needed to see that post and I guess talk about what's going on with me! THANKS!

[Tweety]

Originally Posted by *tattooed~princess*

WOW- this is right on time- a total God thing for me... I have been working with my sponsor on a grief issue directly related to this post... I am 22 and have had to basically cut off all of my friends... some "friends" were nothing more than using buddies but some had been friends for several years before the using. I moved away after treatment and have had a hard time these last couple of years. I miss "my girls" and know that even now with a few 24 hrs under my belt- it would just be irresponsible of me to try and re-establish those friendships- even from a distance. I have spoken with Samme (my closest and best friend) only 3 or 4 since I've been clean.. once to make amends and a couple other times when friends of ours died- my reality is that if I try to get that friendship back I could be the one who dies.... Samme drinks but is not an addict- this is why I have a hard time- I don't know where I'm going with this- I just needed to see that post and I guess talk about what's going on with me! THANKS!

Thanks for sharing. Good luck in your continued journey. Think of the new friends you have. Friends that know all about you, even if you never say a word, and understand you. It's tough to let go, but there's peace and serenity to found in the end.

[Franemtnurse]

Originally Posted by TazziRN

I'm reliving the pain of early recovery through my daughter, things that I had forgotten about. I had warned her in the beginning that as time went on and she got sober, she would change. If the people closest to her didn't change with her, they would drift apart. We were hoping (and believed) that her best friend would see what was happening to her and follow her into recovery.

Twice now the best friend has tried to talk DD into going to raves, telling her that "I know how you can beat your pee tests". This morning I told DD that it might be time to stay apart from this friend for a while, until she has her recovery feet a little more firmly underneath her. She agreed so quickly that it tells me she's scared....scared to be around this friend right now. What's ironic is that DD told me she's the one who got this friend into using in the first place!

Honey, If that person was really her friend, that person would direct her away from such stuff. How sad

[sandygator]

I thank God that His timing is always right. I have to remember often to forgive myself It is still hard for me because the party buddies I gave up are my dear sisters and cousins...my entire family, actually. My church family helps, but of course, it's not the same. Family lives all over the same 40 acres as we. I live with the fear that my nephews will encourage my son to 'turn on' as I did them. The consequences and costs of our sin do not go away despite forgiveness. That's a tough lesson to learn.
But to go through the initial processes of recovery again because I used? Lord help me, nothing is worth that to me.
I am praying today for all posters on this forum. Please know that.
Love,
Sandy