[earle58]

Originally Posted by strugglingnurse

Im a long time reader who decided to finally post. This site is a major support for me!!

I was wondering, are there any nurses out there that struggle with ptsd due to child abuse??? If so, how does that impact your work, and how do you manage your symptoms???? Have you ever told anyone at work?? Any support groups you know of???

I really would appreciate your feedback here!!!


Thanks.

i think it's important to understand what ptsd entails and manage it realistically.

one needs to be aware of all triggers, sometimes even the most benign.

anniversaries also, are times that are more difficult to manage.

often, survivors do not have any relations w/their families.

whether it is nsg or any other profession, it's tough to hang on during times of crisis.

something happened to me a few wks ago at work, that set me back big time.

it's all about balance and moving forward, bit by bit.

i truly understand.

feel free to pm me anytime.

leslie

[birdgardner]

I have fading PTSD from a one-time incident so I'm sure it isn't as bad as from a long-term thing like child abuse. But there are triggers in the hospital setting. I try to approach my triggers kind of sideways and gradually, so I get desensitized. Some people know and just that they care about me and asked how I was doing helped.

I've gone to both local and online support groups. Online you can post any time day or night and get a response and support within minutes or hours. But seeing people in the flesh who've lived through what you've lived through - knowing that there's someone who knows what it's like - is a Godsend.

I hope things get better for you and you find healing. (((hugs)))

[sharona97]

I grew up in a very abusive alcoholic home. Unfortunetly my yours, mine and ours type of family dynamics have always been a mess.

I went to school with welts from belt and brush beatngs. I talked alot with my school counselor. I left the house at 18 (was told too), and had been in and out of therapy since age 11. But there never was a DX of PTSD then. Or told to me.

It was only when I became medically disabled after nursing for 30 years did I sense weird things, which I supppose were flare-ups, but quite honestly didn't understand that it was a flare- up.

Alot of the old feelings came back and I dealt with it, definately made me think about those bad abusive times, but didn't understand or didn't comprehend the "trigger" part. I thought I was just depressed or angry over a family issue or the fact that the love of my life nursing, was taken from me from being misdiagnosed.

I still seek therapy, and am with a wonderful physchologist now who has blatantly asked me how I felt about brining spirituality into our discussions. I was so impressed and relieved that I knew we were getting ready to dig deep.

I learned 2 days before Christmas 2007, that my mom was dying from Lung CA. No one in my family or my mom's sisters or brothers were "allowed to tell me". So I hear ya when you talk about the separation of family. I truly believe it was through divine intervention that I found out thru one of my deceased father's sisters by happenstance.

The one biological brother I had, has jumped on the bandwagon of let's accuse Sharona of how I'm feeling emotionally. He was my rock. Now he has "disowned" me. I feel sorry for my family because they are hurting and refuse to deal with emotional issues. Or don't know how. And choose to take their anger out on me. I've sent informative information touching on the actively dying person to this brother, boy was that a mistake.

Needless to say, despite how my mother treated me and I found out this horrible news, I went into a trigger happy world and lashed out at alot of good people, not even realizing I was showing triggered behaviour. I felt like I took 10 years backwards from all I have improved with through counselling.

I agree with all the other posters, your symptoms are important to know to help you understand what you thought you already did.( how to keep anger from being displaced as a example), and I also agree that a GOOD pschycologist and psychiatrist are absolutely needed.

I hope you take up the offers for private pm's. I have to admit Earle58 is an excellent resource,as I am sure there are many others ( I just don't know you at all no offense please). I also wish you continued peace in your journey through this life. Some times it is lonely at the top!

[butterflyeffect]

You are not alone. I really commend you on being brave enough to say anything. I am not currently a nurse but I do have PTSD from chronic childhood abuse and it has in the past affected almost every aspect of my life. I am hoping to be a nurse so this thread has really helped me feel a bit better about the stigma that can be attached to dealing with mental issues.

I will not go into how I have dealt with it in this thread but please feel free to contact me to talk if you would like to. I am in a great place now and know that I never thought I would be where I am right now. I am always amazed at how resilient and strong the human spirit really is and how one's past never has to define one's future. As horrible as the past was, it has made me who I am and I happen to like who I am!

I wish you the best!

[gentle]

Hey, OP,

You're not alone, buddy.

I still have somethings that completely shut me down to the point that I cannot respond at all. I just stand and stare or sit and stare for a minute. It happened two or three weeks ago at work.

Mine is getting better because, I am aware of it and what it is. This isn't to say that it goes away. I don't know if it ever goes away. Mine certainly hasn't. I have had a good bit of counseling to help me get through it. I can now figure out why I am shutting down.

My anniversary months are the hardest right now.

And yes, depending on my energy level/emotions, I do go into hiding--in my home. I tend to shut out everyone, except my family, seeing a few very close friends by phone or going for a walk with them.

I have learned to make some peace with it. I have found that I can use it to help me stay balanced and not terribly over-extend with commitments. I have found that having other friends who share the same problems, but are commited to healing through it, make great coffee buddies .

It's one of those things that has had and still does have an effect on me. Yet, I am trying to cope and heal just the same. I am pleased with my life overall.

Many hugs to you.

Love,
Gentle

[strugglingnurse]

Thanks you every one for your responses!!!

I cant express how much each of your responses meant to me. I truly felt sooo alone and isolated when I posted. However, Its so sad to hear that others are going through the pain that I am.

I hope we can keep this thread going as a form of support for all of us.



Peace and healing.

strugglingnurse

[ShifraPuah]

for everybody with PTSD.

[namaste_71]

Originally Posted by ShifraPuah

for everybody with PTSD.

Yeah, that!

[traumaRUs]

I'm going to move this to the nurses in recovery and addiction forum so that you can get more assistance. I am so sorry.

[deeDawntee]

My heart goes out to you in your struggle. I have managed PTSD, among other related disorders for many years. The most important aspect of my healing has been to be in consistent long-term therapy. It is relationship that heals. (As much as our relationships with people harmed us, it is our relationships with others that will heal us.) I continue to manage symptoms such as depression, dissociation and profound insecurity. I haven't had a flashback in perhaps 10 years. I am mostly a productive member of society but continue have issues with attendance at work, since I seem to be easily run-down and catch everything going around. I use FEMLA protection and my employer has not harassed me about missing work.
I sometimes get down on myself for missing work, but remind myself that I am lucky to be doing as well as I am. It is a matter of perspective.
It is so unfortunate that being "mentally ill" is such a stigma in our society, including and especially in healthcare. We had no control over being abused and at times it seems we continue to be abused for having issues from our abuse. For that reason, I don't talk about it at work. I have learned to keep a firm boundary in that regard.

I do know that healing is possible and managing symptoms becomes easier as time goes on. I know that I am getting in trouble when I start comparing my life to others who seem to have it all. The most important thing I do for myself it to remember that my path is valid and I am doing the very best that I can and to be grateful for all that I have done and achieved.