[Tweety]

Originally Posted by Prodigalwoman

I am an addict, convicted felon, recovering nurse, mother, daughter, sister, sponsor, sponsee, friend. I found this site because I was visiting the web searching for answers on employment for rn's with my challenges. My story is much like yours always feeling different, uncomfortable in my own skin, searching for answers and love in all the wrong people places and things, my addiction took me all the way down wound up as a 24/7 street walking prostitute crack head liar, thief, child abandoner, master manipulator ,part time thug, no one who knew or loved me could find me for 7 years I served a total of 3 years in prison and have now been out for 4 years and clean since 2002. I am in the recovery nurse program in my state and very gratefull to be a productive member of society however the wrekage of my past is still rearing its ugly head so I am doing the footwork and leaving the outcome to God

Welcome! Glad that you found us. Congrats on the sobriety. Sounds like a rough rough road you've been down to reach you to today. Best of luck to you.

[Natkat]

Thanks for sharing your story, Tweety.

I have been sober 19 years. I rarely talk about it because people who question their own habits suddenly become uncomfortable around me. I don't feel it's my place to tell anyone whether or not they have a problem. The only addiction I'm in a position to judge is my own.

What I tell people is that I don't judge what they do. It's not up to me. I'm taking my own inventory. I am not judging anyone else for their addictions. If anything, I am praying for them and hoping they can find their way to sobriety. I am focused on maintaining my own sobriety. How other people deal with theirs is none of my business. I will always be a supporter for anyone who wants to get sober. If they make the choice to continue their addiction, I will be sad but I won't think any less of them. They already hate themselves enough inside. I am here for when they decide it's time to quit.

someone said to me the other day "Oh I applaud your strength." I agree with you, Tweety. It doesn't take strength to fight addiction. Strength is the enemy. What it takes is weakness - admitting that you are powerless over (name your addiction here). If you think you are stronger than your addiction, you are fooling yourself. You will only prolong your own suffering and the suffering of the people around you who care about you. You must allow yourself to be weak and surrender to your higher power if recovery is going to work.

I am glad there is a place where nurses can talk honestly about addiction. This is especially important for those among us who have access to powerful narcotics and have to make a decision every single day about what we'll do about that.

Thank you.

[Tweety]

Thanks Natkat. It's good to hear from you. Kudos on your 19 years!

[moochsmom]

Thank you Tweety for your story. I have 20 years of sobriety and AA, but as you know sometimes you need that nudge to remind yourself that it is always one day at a time. Lately at work the stress level has hit the ceiling (wow imagine that), and all I can say is I wish I worked with someone like you. Keep up the great work, and I love your journel. Life here in Las Vegas isn't all high rollers and fun, but I can honestly say I still love being a nurse. Have a great weekend.

[Tweety]

Originally Posted by moochsmom

Thank you Tweety for your story. I have 20 years of sobriety and AA, but as you know sometimes you need that nudge to remind yourself that it is always one day at a time. Lately at work the stress level has hit the ceiling (wow imagine that), and all I can say is I wish I worked with someone like you. Keep up the great work, and I love your journel. Life here in Las Vegas isn't all high rollers and fun, but I can honestly say I still love being a nurse. Have a great weekend.

It would be nice to have a recovering friend to work with. Sometimes it would help to have some say to me "keep it simple stupid!, first things first"

[Miami NightNurse]

Originally Posted by Prodigalwoman

I am an addict, convicted felon, recovering nurse, mother, daughter, sister, sponsor, sponsee, friend. I found this site because I was visiting the web searching for answers on employment for rn's with my challenges. My story is much like yours always feeling different, uncomfortable in my own skin, searching for answers and love in all the wrong people places and things, my addiction took me all the way down wound up as a 24/7 street walking prostitute crack head liar, thief, child abandoner, master manipulator ,part time thug, no one who knew or loved me could find me for 7 years I served a total of 3 years in prison and have now been out for 4 years and clean since 2002. I am in the recovery nurse program in my state and very gratefull to be a productive member of society however the wrekage of my past is still rearing its ugly head so I am doing the footwork and leaving the outcome to God

Congratulations to you and Tweety!!!! You both have told really moving stories. I did drugs and drank when I was in high school and luckily for me I lived with a man who drank to much in my early 20's and just decided I didn't want to be like him and quit everything. My mother has been in AA for 31 years. Anyway congratulations to both of you!!!

[jdarcy]

Tweety,
I was looking for something else when I saw your story.
Even though you would think that the medical community would know better we still have a tendency to think of Alcoholics as down and out wino's on skid row or the guy strapped to the bed who keeps tearing his IV's out.
I am an alcoholic and I am in nursing school. I didnt start out being an alcoholic but I didnt start out wanting to be a nurse either...one was a calling and the other was just falling. (you figure out which is which cause sometimes I get confused...)
I have been sober for 6 years and most of the people I go to school with dont know I am clean and sober but they know I dont drink. They know I show up on time, am dependable, happy, hard working, kind, good with people and love what I am doing even when it's hard. I dont hide my recovery but I dont wear a big sign on my chest either.
We dont look like skid row but that is where I came from. 6 years ago I had a sign with "God please help me" on it standing next to the freeway exit, a warm bottle of vodka was my only friend and I wanted to die but just couldnt quite step in front of your speeding car to do it....I didnt smell too good and I hadnt bathed in a while and didnt know where I would sleep that night nor did I care.
With the help of God, AA and good friends I am in nursing school, about to take an OB final I am deathly afraid I might fail...but I know I cant fail...cause I didnt drink today. I wont drink no matter what...but for now I wont drink today. You realize it isnt a moral issue...it's a whole different something...and there are probably more than a few nurses who will need my help so that they can help others.
Thanks for helping me.
Nursing school in Colorado

[akcarmean]

Tweety -- CONGRATS I have always admired your posts and knowledge now I know why. Thanks for sharing.

angie

[Tweety]

Originally Posted by jdarcy

Tweety,
I was looking for something else when I saw your story.
Even though you would think that the medical community would know better we still have a tendency to think of Alcoholics as down and out wino's on skid row or the guy strapped to the bed who keeps tearing his IV's out.
I am an alcoholic and I am in nursing school. I didnt start out being an alcoholic but I didnt start out wanting to be a nurse either...one was a calling and the other was just falling. (you figure out which is which cause sometimes I get confused...)
I have been sober for 6 years and most of the people I go to school with dont know I am clean and sober but they know I dont drink. They know I show up on time, am dependable, happy, hard working, kind, good with people and love what I am doing even when it's hard. I dont hide my recovery but I dont wear a big sign on my chest either.
We dont look like skid row but that is where I came from. 6 years ago I had a sign with "God please help me" on it standing next to the freeway exit, a warm bottle of vodka was my only friend and I wanted to die but just couldnt quite step in front of your speeding car to do it....I didnt smell too good and I hadnt bathed in a while and didnt know where I would sleep that night nor did I care.
With the help of God, AA and good friends I am in nursing school, about to take an OB final I am deathly afraid I might fail...but I know I cant fail...cause I didnt drink today. I wont drink no matter what...but for now I wont drink today. You realize it isnt a moral issue...it's a whole different something...and there are probably more than a few nurses who will need my help so that they can help others.
Thanks for helping me.
Nursing school in Colorado

And that you for helping me!

[Scififan]

Hi, my father is an alcoholic which he will never admit in a million years, unfortunately the alcohol does not make him a pleasant person, he is not physically abusive but emotionally he knows which buttons to push and how to make you feel the worst!

I thank you tweety for your story, and am so glad you have found a path away from it, my father will die drinking as did his father and probably his before him. I don't drink but certainly did in my youth, I stopped when I started antidepressants cos it certainly didn't make me feel good that combo! I really dislike being around people drinking cos that bleary look in the eye is just too close to home.

I also acknowledge that our family have very addictive genes, I took to smoking cigarettes like a duck to water and have had experiences with other drugs which scared me cos I liked them way too much!! So now Ijust stickto the ciggies, still not good but oh well.

I wish my father and brother who I think is in training to be an alcoholic could see how it affects the people around them and the distress it causes, when I meet up with my family it can be a struggle to find a non alcoholic beverage and after ten years of me not drinking they still see it as a temporary thing!!

So cheers to you all who are sober and continue to fight to be sober just wish it could happen in my family.