[Thunderwolf]

Since Tweety, Marla, Silverdragon102, TheCommuter, and Arwen_U, my co-staff, bared their hearts...I can do no less. My first smoke, or taste, was when I was in the first grade...by my alcoholic stepfather. I began smoking as a habit since my sixth grade...allowed to smoke openly in the house during my 8th grade. Everyone in my family smoked. In my family, being of Appalachian descent, smoking never batted an eye. Folks who did not smoke were more of the exception to the rule. It was a way of life...if not a rite of passage...like getting one's driver's license. I have quit many a times and started back up many a times during my life. My biggest run of sobriety was for 6 years, but I ended up falling off the wagon, er...cigarette truck due to stress...it's in my Bio story (Bio link). Personally, I love to smoke...but I know as a nurse that it is not good for me. I hate the way my clothes and apartment smells when I do. I hate the amount of monies wasted on it. Cancer in our family is unheard of, on either side...so the fear of cancer never ever came to me as a concern....and they all smoked like chimneys, living to their elder days. Good genes, I guess. I don't deny the risk of cancer...but, it doesn't seem real to me growing up in the family I did. Cold turkey was the best way for me many times. I even tried Chantix once....which was very helpful then. Something that I may again try real soon....for the withdrawals (very real) were nonexistant for me. I look forward to reading others' successes, as well as their struggles, with smoking and other addictions. It gives hope. Unless one has been hooked on a substance, it makes it hard to be empathetic to one who is...I know this...so I try to be patient and understanding to those who do not know/have experienced it for themselves.

Yes...I will think about the Chantix once again. Maybe it is time once more.

Peace

[Blackcat99]

I am not a smoker. I am a food addict. I am on a 12 step program for food addiction and it has worked so very well for me. I have heard about smokers anonymous and nicotine anonymous programs for smokers. Perhaps one of these 12 step programs would be helpful to you?

[VivaLasViejas]

Thank you for sharing your story, Wolfie, especially in such an eloquent manner.

Smoking is an amazingly easy habit to quit........I know, I did it about 10 times before severe asthma forced me to stop for good back in 1990. What's hard is STAYING quit---tobacco, it's said, is as addictive as heroin. It's not enough to know that it's bad for you, that it stinks, that it will cause you grief in the end........you must stop for your own reasons, not society's or your doctor's. And until you are truly ready, it's no good to beat yourself up over it; all it does is make you feel bad and more out of control than ever.

That's actually true for any addiction---when it gets right down to where the cheese binds, we are bound to fail if we're quitting for someone else. We succeed ONLY when we have internalized the fact that our habit creates more problems for us than it solves, that it's getting in our way instead of calming us (or doing whatever we think it does for us).

You'll do it when your heart and soul tell you it's time, Wolfie. You can't rush it; just be open to what your inner guardian whispers to you when you listen closely.

[Elvish]

Wow, I am so humbled by this thread.
I am struggling RIGHT NOW wanting something sweet. I'm not giving in, thanks to this thread. Maybe I will print some of it off & hang it on my mirror.

Edited to add - You can and will do it, Wolfie.

[luv2luvlife]

"Cancer in our family is unheard of, on either side...so the fear of cancer never ever came to me as a concern....and they all smoked like chimneys, living to their elder days. Good genes, I guess. I don't deny the risk of cancer"

Did they smoke the indian cigarettes, or the store bought ones? I think the indian cigarettes are safer to smoke and also quit with, because they don't have all the chemicals the store bought ones have. It may also be the reason they don't have cancer,,,,, Too bad there is no stats on this

[Tweety]

Thanks for sharing Wolfie. No matter how many times you fail, you'll never quit smoking until unless you keep trying.

During my first period of sobrity 20 years I maged to quit and have been smoke free since. I quit hundreds of times over the years that I smoked.

Best wishes.

[danissa]

Wolfie, I never smoked a cigarette till I was 27 years old. Never would allow anyone to smoke in my house before that. Do I regret those first puffs, yes, definately, as 12 years later, I'm officially an addict. yet i go for 13+ hours in a day without a cancer stick, as soon as work is done, I'm ut the gate, faster than the road runner, to light up.
My family all hate it, I feel daily that I let them down so much, yet even that does not stop me from lighting up another.
Do I feel like a failure?...yes, but I'm not at the place where I can give it up, for me, giving up for others only leads to doing it in secret. One of these days, but omg, I've tried, but got the biggest cake craving!! (and my rear is round enough!)

One day............

[jb2u]

Thanks for sharing Wolfie. I wish you much success.

[webbiedebbie]

Hi...my name is Debbie and I am a smoker.

I had been smoking since I was 18 years old. I did quit in 1987 for 10 years, cold turkey, but I ate everything in sight!

I fell off the cigarrette machine in 1997 because I was stressed and a friend offered me a glass of wine and a cigarrette. That's all it took.

I am "hard core", let me tell you! In January 2005, I was having painful breathing when I got off of work and picked my husband and son up from work and dropped my son off at home and dh drove me to the ER. On the way there, I had another cigarrette in between the pain. Got to ER and the pain had subsided, so they had me wait in the waiting room for about an hour-and-a-half. Finally got to be seen and the pain started again and I had problems breathing.

Turned out, I had 3 clots in each lung! Admitted, heparin IV, self injecting Lovenox when discharged, and then started on Warfarin p.o. Did the nicotine patches while in hospital and was going to be a good girl and do them at home too. DIDN'T happen! I'm still smoking!

My husband also smokes and that doesn't help, but we don't smoke in the house. My car reeks of it though!

I know I am going to quit again someday. I'm psyching myself up to start walking when the weather gets better and each time I get the urge, I am going to drink a bottle of water and walk instead of lighting up.

Thanks for starting up this thread! I feel better now!

[suanna]

A massive MI, CVA or end stage COPD are my only hopes of retireing earily. If I quit smoking now I'll just have to work longer to draw my pension. If I can keep up at 2PPD I'm thinking I'll be off the job by 55.