[BlueRidgeHomeRN]

Originally Posted by motorcycle mama

. I try to get away from them as soon as I can. ......... Other times I will try to avoid looking at their eyes.

Am I bad for being honest?

Nothing bad about believing what you believe.

I do wonder, though, if your discomfort with the dead is linked to your view of death.

You understandably don't want to be reminded that "nothing" will someday happen to you, too.

I do talk to the recently dead...think there may be a little overlap between "here" and "there". Not scary to me--the transport container is still here, but the person has gone on. Along with Kubler-Ross, I believe there is no such thing as "death", only a tranformation.

[earle58]

i do speak to those who have died.
as i'm cleaning them up, i let them know what i'm doing.
i also remind them that while they have transitioned to a greater place, their loved ones are going to miss them, and could they please keep an eye on them?

ironically, i have always done poorly at chit-chat, small talk.
yet with the dead, i'm never at a loss of words.

leslie

[ingelein]

Ive actually caught myself saying "go to the light", then felt pretty foolish.I do think as BlueRidgeHome said that there may be a time between here and there.

[BlueRidgeHomeRN]

Don't feel foolish, Inge. Did it all the time in hospice.

(The inside joke was to go stand on a chair with a flashlight and utter the magic words.....go to the light...if a pt was dangling on the edge of moving on.)

[GoLytely]

I sometimes wonder if my phobia of looking at dead people came when I saw my uncle in his casket when I was a child.

I used to stew and stew over it, I've done a lot of looking into evidence of life after death. I've looked at NDEs, ADCs...and I can't find any reason to think that when our bodies die we move into another form of life.

When you're dead, you're dead.

[ExpatHopeful]

It depends really. If it's a patient that I have known somewhat well I will talk to them while prepping them, saying things that I normally would while washing a patient (oh, your hands are swollen, let's wash your feet now...etc). I think it's to help me say goodbye to them in a way and reaffirm that I cared about them I suppose. If it's a patient that I didn't have any contact with before they died then I don't talk to them usually although I might talk to myself. The room can feel really silent with just you and a body, especially at night if the ward is quiet.

I think I tend to get left to do the prep myself a lot because many of the nurses I work with are not comfortable with dead people or are afraid of them and it's not something that bothers me at all. On that note, I have to disagree with BlueRidgeHomeRN that discomfort with the dead is linked to a belief that there is no afterlife, at least for everyone. I believe that there is nothing after death, the person just ceases to be, but I'm quite comfortable with the dead.

As far as interesting practices go I suppose that I work with quite a few Phillipina nurses and most of them will open a window in the room as soon as they can. I've been told by one that they believe the soul has to get out of the room after death in this way.

[BlueRidgeHomeRN]

Originally Posted by ExpatHopeful

On that note, I have to disagree with BlueRidgeHomeRN that discomfort with the dead is linked to a belief that there is no afterlife, at least for everyone. I believe that there is nothing after death, the person just ceases to be, but I'm quite comfortable with the dead.
.

Actually, that was not a general comment but directed at a specific poster and based on additional prior input..

[earle58]

Originally Posted by ExpatHopeful

It depends really. If it's a patient that I have known somewhat well I will talk to them while prepping them, saying things that I normally would while washing a patient (oh, your hands are swollen, let's wash your feet now...etc). I think it's to help me say goodbye to them in a way and reaffirm that I cared about them I suppose.

i guess i'm not understanding if you believe in nothingness after death, why talk to them?
yes, i know you stated it's your way of saying good-bye, but still...
doesn't make a whole lot of sense when you believe you're talking to 'nothing'.

i'm a huge believer in 'afterlife', other realms/dimension...
somewhere where our spirits/energies travel to.
so of course, i talk to everyone who has died, the same as i talked to them when alive...
except, i don't ask questions.
heh.

leslie

[nurse4kds91]

This is an interesting thread you have started. I have always believed that my patients (children) can hear me even if they are brain dead or even after cardiac death. I believe their spirit stays with them until their parents are ready to let their body go and then they go home with their parents to watch over them. I have an experience with the death of 3 little girls in a tragic accident. It will haunt me forever. The death of children has never bothered me a lot as I believe it is a part of life no matter your age. We are all here for a purpose and some of us get our job done quicker than others. I was doing post-mortem care and talking to the oldest girl as I always do. As I was across the room, alone, a cap from an IV dropped off the bed onto the floor. It may have been close to the edge, who knows but I was sure she was with me listening to my soft banter while I talked to her about how her family will miss her.

[Sadie525]

Hi,

I work in hospice and I have done this before death (coma state) and after they have died. Before death; I believe and according to some text that the hearing is the last to go. I also have this thing about patients dying alone, I hate too see that; I guess it's my way of reassuring my pt that someone is with them.
The after death issue: I talk to them because I believe that the soul is still near by. I have experienced times when I thought I could feel the person standing next to me. Or if I was very close to the patient a feeling of loss would consume me. So I'd talk to ease my own grief.
On the other hand;
I had this one patient that I tried and tried to comfort no matter what I did he would become angry and violent too. Finally he began to transition, I followed all comfort and safety measures, and kept eye on him constantly without trying to annoy him. The day before he past, I was doing rounds and went in his room, to find him struggling for breath, He had taken off his oxygen, I adjusted his head reapplied nasal canula and cleared his airway, he recovered and was breathing much better. I touched his hand and told him I would be here if he need anything else....he place his other hand on mine and he looked up so weak, so frail and said; GO TO HELL.
So there was no singing or chatting for this one.