Feb 05, 2008 02:25 PM - Thank you for showing all nurses that it is more than acceptable to care about the emotional needs of a family. Sometimes I feel that after the initial flurry of emergency and intensive care many drift away from what is an equally important part of our profession. I have been in similar situations and provided unusual care to give closure to a family member. But you had the insight and courage to share this with all of us. Thank you doesn't seem to say enough in a situation as special and moving as this. You being the nurse you are is what Florence Nightingale fought so hard for nurses to one day become.

Feb 05, 2008 02:53 PM - interleukin,
this is a great article. i wept as i read it.
my husband and i lost a 7 yr old son several years ago.
two months of chemo led to lowered resistance, and c-diff set up housekeeping
in his gut, leading to pseudomembranous colitis, septicemia, etc. the nurses in
the children's hospital icu were awesome, and they suggested that we hold him,
even while he was hooked to ventilator and other machines. i was able to hold
that child in my arms the last couple hours of his life, singing to him.
they provided a rocking
chair, and with family gathered round, he managed to leave this world with many
loved ones at his side. doctors and nurses who had worked with him during his
illness were there, also. needless to say, it was a night full of anguish and fear,
but also a night that made me realize how fleeting life truly is. the thoughtfulness
of those nurses has stayed with me all this time, and i am thankful that our son
was able to spend his last hours in my arms. thank you so much for your input.
it will help me to be open in my suggestions to families with a dying family member.

p.s. (((hugs and blessings))) to all who have dealt with similar situations.
dee

Feb 05, 2008 09:47 PM - Thanks so much for this beautiful article. It truly reminds us that we need to help care for family members as well. they were blessed to have you care for them and we are to have you share with us.

Feb 05, 2008 11:56 PM - When my husband was on a ventilator after a medical mishap, I knew by day 5 that I was going to have to dc life support. Before his family arrived, I wrapped my arms under his shoulders and across his chest, turned him over toward me. He was cradled in my arms when I told him how much I loved him, and that it was alright to die and that I would take care of the kids. The nurses left me alone to say goodbye and the physical closeness we had is something I will treasure forever. It was a peaceful time and I think it helped him slip away in peace.

Feb 06, 2008 06:01 AM - so the first time i have ever posted to a thread..but i have to say this was touching..taking care of a patient with similar conditions. very good idea

Feb 06, 2008 09:28 AM - Many of us, early on in our nursing careers, tend to focus so much on the many technical challenges we ignore or forget about the emotional needs of patients and/or families. We are ‘wowed” and intrigued by the drama and complexities of it all and so very eager to take our places among the nurses who already “walk the walk.”

But those feelings pass for many of us, substituted by a need to better understand ourselves and others. Yeah, I know, this sounds so touchy-feely, so get-your-head-out-of-the-sand type of sentimentality. Sure, it’s not sexy or cutting edge so this perspective is an easy target for the “thrill seekers.” But, as nurses, it is no less a part of what we do--a skill set that we must develop-- than knowing how to manage/control/interpret drugs, machines and complex vital signs.

For me, I feel when we can shut out the “chatter” of our world, and we re-prioritize all the pretty ornaments that surround us, we are left with the human touch—that exquisite need that feeds our very core.

I think the wisest people know that the more they shut out the noise, and the more they focus on what makes them fundamentally more loving human beings, the closer they come to real contentment.

Feb 06, 2008 10:21 AM - I am blown away. God gives some people the talent to know what to do in the most tormenting situation; you have that. Thank you.

Feb 07, 2008 10:37 AM - It's good that so many are "thinking outside the box." Although I was not the patient's nurse and was functioning as the chaplain, I was in a situation in which the daughter of a patient who had just died was totally overcome with grief (partly due the fact that her mother had just died, but also from remorse that she had just decided on DNR orders). One of the things she did in her grief was to climb into bed with the body, stroking the hair and crying (screaming) "Momma, Momma." Out of the nurse's comfort zone? Yes. Inappropriate? I don't think so. Eventually the daughter was able to release her mother and return home with her cousin. As nurses, we must be able to recognize and meet the family's needs, also.

Feb 07, 2008 10:59 AM - What a wonderful thing you did. When we were losing our Father to heart failure. We endured a many unprofessional and uncaring health workers. But, thanks to a few loving and supportive ones they were able to give us the most special times left with our Father. At times I think their job becomes such a hectic routine, that they forget they are human. And dealing with humans at the same time. I know it is difficult to share comforting words or acts of kindness when found in such a difficult situation. But, sometimes little acts such as you mentioned are worth a million words. And it makes a lasting impression. Not only to the family, but those around who at times think there is no more KINDNESS left in the World. Thank You for opening my eyes and others, that there is still GOOD in this BEAUTIFUL WORLD OF OURS!!!!!

Feb 07, 2008 11:13 AM - This is really amazing. I can't imagine losing someone like my husband, and I know that I would need something like that as part of my process. Your post made me cry. I am currently in nursing school.. and I hope one day to be as good of a nurse as you are. Thank you