Jan 25, 2008 07:51 AM - My grandfather died at home, and my grandmother kept him with her for the rest of the day and night, so she could have that last night together. I'm so happy to hear that there are nurses who think to offer the same kindness to their patients in hospital. Kudos; you are an fantastic person and an excellent nurse.

Jan 25, 2008 01:11 PM - Oh man,this made me cry.But I needed to read this.

Jan 25, 2008 01:26 PM - That was beautiful - thank you. I agree with you that it often seems that the grieving person must feel like they are "hosting an event." My brother-in-law died of a glioblastoma 5 years ago, at home in his bedroom, but in a hospital bed. His wife was so busy entertaining the masses of people who came by that I don't think she ever had time to hold him one last time. The moment that touched me the most was when I walked upstairs when I thought no one else was there, and saw his 10 year old daughter kneeling beside the bed with her head on his chest. I turned around and left them alone but have always wondered if I should have helped her to sit on the bed, or sit and talk with her. I think I lost a moment there that she could have remembered forever.

Jan 25, 2008 03:01 PM - This is a very powerful article and when I read it I am reminded why I became a nurse.

Jan 25, 2008 03:09 PM - That is a wonderful story. Sometimes we forget how we can m,ake an impact on peoples lives either our patients or their families.

Jan 25, 2008 05:04 PM - That was a great article. Thank you for writing it.

My dad just passed away 2 weeks ago after a long bout with a variety of ailments including dementia. The last few years of his life had not been good to him and had been very hard on my step-mom. The last few months had been particularly hard as dad's behavior had become so uncontrolled that he had, of necessity, become house bound and her along with him.

She took wonderful care of him through those many dark months but it did take a toll on her and she built up a lot of resentment toward him because of some of things that he said and did.

The last night of his life, though, restored her soft-hearted, loving feelings for him. With all of us grown kids in attendance and taking turns sitting with him, she climbed into bed with him. Finally at about 11 pm she fell asleep. This was the first time in many months that they'd slept in the same bed. With the two of them sleeping together in the bed, the rest of us gathered in the living room while we each went in and spent time holding his hand. Finally at about 4 am his breathing changed dramatically and we knew that his last minutes were upon him. We awakened my step-mom and she laid there with him, holding him as his soul slipped away.

That last night sleeping together was such an incredibly restorative event for my step-mom.

Thank you, interleukin, for being so perceptive as to care so well for your patient and his wife.

You are a fabulous nurse.

Jan 25, 2008 05:13 PM -

Originally Posted by interleukin

Have the courage to let your humanity lead the way.

Beautiful, thank you so much and what a gift of compassion you have.

Jan 25, 2008 07:28 PM - Thank you, dear colleagues. You are most kind and I am honored to be among a group of nurses like yourselves.

Jan 25, 2008 07:44 PM - Bless you!
Thank you for sharing this with us.
nurses like us are what give hope for the future of the profession and humanity as a whole.
I'm retired now, but am always glad I 'bucked' the system many times to ensure my dying patient passed with someone there to love and care. Even if, on many occasions, it was just me.

Jan 26, 2008 10:01 PM - I only wish that I had the chance to do this for my husband as he died. Your patient's wife was lucky to have had you there. You are an exceptional nurse. I wish there were more like you. Thank you.