[Franemtnurse]

Wonderful post Sue. I hope it gives Twix some encouragement.

[ElianaHephzibah]

I have six years experience as a homecare and hospice nurse. I have struggled mightily throughout my schooling (I have a BSN and a BA in anthropology) and work history as a nurse to overcome my disabilities. I have PTSD and DID (dissociative identity disorder aka multiple personalities), and am a survivor of extreme abuse. In 2005 when I was working full time as a hospice nurse my whole life came crashing down around me and I developed Fibromyalgia as well. There is a long story as to how it became necessary for me, my husband and children to flee the state we were living in. We moved under emergency circumstances across the country and my life was just reduced to rubble.

I thought that I would never work again and applied for complete disability, which was of course denied. I know that I could get a lawyer and fight it, but there is this active voice in my head that just won't let me give up. I just don't believe that I am totally disabled. I want to fight and recover. So, I have been focusing on picking up the pieces of my life and on recovery and healing for the last two years, and finally feel like I am emerging out of a dark, frightening tunnel. I thought that I would never go back to nursing.

Part of why I am reconsidering this is that since moving our financial situation has been precarious at best. My husband does not have a strong career skill and so we have been very impoverished. Then he came down with two serious illnesses in Dec. of last year (diverticulitis and kidney cancer). He recently had two successful surgeries for both conditions and is in recovery from those.

His being ill and in the hospital put me in the environment where I reconnected with the nurse in me. I kept asking myself how the environment felt, if I could see myself working in it. I started to feel very positive about not only going back to nursing, but attempting to enter into the previously terrifying world of acute care nursing for the first time. I really think I can do it, but I am of course afraid of being wrong.

I seriously need encouragement and wise counsel. One big question I have is that I know that every unit of a hospital is a busy place, but I was wondering if some might be busier than others? One thing that is giving me confidence that I may be able to be successful at acute care nursing is the offering of nurse residency programs at the local hospital, which were not available when I was starting out in another state. With this kind of support and focus on job training, I feel much more confident.

I noticed that right now the local hospital is offering a nurse residency in Oncology, part time nights. I have been agonizing about applying for this job. The part time would be a good way to ease into the job and feel my way in it, but nights might be bad for my fibromyalgia. I am wondering if oncology is of higher acuity than other med-surg units or not. I have experience with oncology from a hospice perspective, and I am comfortable dealing with sorrow and tragic circumstances.

I so want to be successful and make the right choices. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Eliana

[student1000]

Wilbur'sMom,
In reading your post to Twix, you mentioned you teach somewhere. Do you teach at a university/college? Have you ever had a student with a disability? Thanks.

[firstaiddave908]

great idea.

[wilbur's mom]

Hi! Everyone, and Eliana,
Good Morning! and it has warmed up to 10 degrees outside, and I ache in joints I didn't know I had! I teach high school 11th and 12th grade, a Health Occupation and Nurse Aide curriculum, after ICU nursing and RN and LPN ed. I am blessed to be able to work part time, and that my lupus meds help me so much. Eliana, I applaud your courage to share about yourself, and to work to make your life, as it has been dealt to you, as good as you can. I vote go for the part time night job, but remember that getting enough rest is key, so don't get sucked into double shifts and over time. I believe you are alot stronger than you give yourself credit for. I believe "seeing" our disabilities is key to taking ownership of them, and running with them! And if it doesn't work out, at least you can say you tried. Hi! Student1000, I have worked with nurses and others, who have MS, lupus, several different types of both, (it is not unuasual anymore to hear someone say, hey, you, too?, or my... has that,) using a brace or electric w/c prn, students needing amplified stethoscopes, a friend at work with polio, service dogs with owners who work in Social Services. And made friends in my lupus support group with people who are hairdressers, retail sales people, office nurses, have a relative with fibro who is a med transcriptionist. Just don't give up, even if some days are harder than others. And some days are really tough.
Hugs,
sue.

[moblondielpn]

thank you so much for this forum i have seizure disorder now controlled by med. anyway thanks so much

[FromNH2VAwherenext]

I am a student nurse in an accelerated BSN program. I haven't had any problems with my clinical instructors until now, my last semester.
I have a visual impairment which affects my hand-eye coordination, dept perception and peripheral vision. I look "normal" so people assume a lot. I tell every clinical instructor and preceptor I work with right off about my disability and most are perfectly fine with it and have worked with me... this semester; however, my preceptor is a young nurse, recently graduated and has worked in the neuroscience ICU her entire 2 1/2 year career. I think she's more out to prove how good she is rather than teaching me. She is frustrated by my mistakes (no med errors, just flubbing up drawing up meds and basically uncoordinated when it comes to IVs/ventric/a-line care.
She explains it once (quickly), watches me do it once and expects that I "get it" for the rest of the semester. There are multiple steps to leveling and zeroing ventric; checking ICPs, etc so I'd like to write them down; my preceptor said I'm not always going to be able to refer to notes (after she suggested that I DO take notes another day!).
Anyway, the situation is this -- it's mid-term (past, actually for me) and I received a poor evaluation from her...I can't say as I feel real good about myself in completing the TASKS related to the ICU environment; however, I'm great at pt education (elementary education was my first career -- didn't like being in the schools so didn't stay with that career for long), documentation and assessment...my preceptor didn't bother giving me credit for those. When I dropped off my forms to my clinical instructor, I discussed my frustration... she said that everyone is a novice in a new environment and basically not to worry about it.
Anyway, I had another 12 hour shift with my preceptor on Mon. and things went especially badly -- I dropped an IV drug and it spilled all over the floor; broke (she was able to jerry rig it) the ventric draining device, got behind on meds, etc. SO, I emailed my
faculty member in charge of the course Tues. first thing. Good thing I did this cuz m preceptor emailed her, too! I had a meeting with the faculty member in charge of the class (yesterday), my clinical instructor and even the head of the skills/learning lab. They were all supportive and I don't think I'll fail the class based on my clinical performance any more. I am scheduled to work in the skills lab for 6-8 hours between this week and next. I will be evaluated by all of those people in my skills (as well as my preceptor). I won't go back to the ICU and my preceptor till I'm more comfortable working the machines which is fine by me, actually. When I go back, I can work 8 hour shifts so I can go in more frequently. The bad news is, the Dean was cc'ed on my "remediation plan." The Dean says there are limited accommodations that can be made for clinical settings. I'm meeting with the Student Services (Disability Support) director tomorrow afternoon.
This has all led up to: how in the world am I gonna be a floor nurse? I realize floor nursing is much different than the ICU; however, if I can't (or am slow at) performing simple tasks on 1 pt how am I sposed to be able to do it for 5 or 6 pts and not fall behind? I have heard that most clinic jobs don't hire new grads. I've also heard that 1-2 years of floor experience is required for just about every RN job. I was a protocol scheduling secretary in NH for oncology pts for 4 years prior to entering this nursing program. I realize I want to pursue a Master's now (not sure what specialty).
What I'm looking for mostly is support. Does anyone else have a visual impairment? How have students dealt with a non-understanding preceptor? Feelin' kinda worried right now even though I realize everything will be all right. I was called to this profession for a reason -- gotta keep telling myself that!

[ALLYCAT4]

I am new to this website. After reading many of the stories about deaf and HOH nurses u have given me the courage to go back to school. I am HOH myself. I am considered moderate hearing loss and wear two aides. I once was in the nursing program and failed. I would say it wasn't because of my hearing but my lack of effort to study. I am a CNA but have put my stethescope away for 5 yrs due to many reasons. But to all the deaf and HOH nurses.. you are awesome!!

[amers573]

I would suggest A Dr's office to work at. I am looking down that avenue. I believe there is something for everyone out there somewhere. Best of health & Good Luck
.
AP

[amers573]

I have had preceptors that dont understand but they are trying to help. Some are just impatient also. I have ADD and generalized anxiety due tho that. I was put on meds that i felt worked only some of the time. I had to resign my position in acute care and now im looking into Dr's office setting and some type of outpatient surgical setting. I have learned not to set my expectations of my self too high. I have failed but kept trying and took my chances and did the best i could at that time. Dont give up! but you may have to rethink and focus on your abilities until you get more experience maybe in a non fast paced environment. You can do it. It is very frustrating and upsetting but this site is self help for me and many others. I believe there is something out there somewhere for everyone. You are a special person to want to do this job. keep me informed. Good luck

AP