[Babs0512]

While I see your point Stanley, I don't agree. Perhaps you've been fortunate to not experience discrimination with your diagnosis, but I have with mine. Even though in my state you do not have to disclose, word gets around a smallish hospital, and while I am successfully being treated for my depression, anxiety and PTSD, oh and I'm a "functional agoraphobic" - that's a new diagnosis, I have paid the price in losing all my credibility and respect that I worked so hard to achieve.

If I had been diagnosed with an MI or diabetes, I would have received much support, but with a "psyc" diagnosis, there is still a stigma - and once you've got it, you can't shake it. I can't even get a full time position, and this after 17 years of service! I get passed over for every position I apply for - yet I still get decent evals. I've given up.

[Chapookie]

Hi everyone,

I'm not new to this forum, but I am newly coming to terms with my diagnosis of bipolar 2 (March of this year). I haven't written it out to read or told anyone other than my husband or family, so here I go:

I have been repeatedly diagnosed and treated for depression since I was 17 (went from Prozac to Zoloft to Cymbalta), but I always knew something wasn't quite right, even on meds. My ******* went off of my meds in early 2006 and I "crashed" in March - curled up on the couch, crying, not being able to say a word to my husband (who is aware of my depression issues). He has a great EAP that helps spouses also and they found me an emergency appointment with a psychiatrist the following day.

This guy is a Godsend! I've never had a psychiatrist listen to me after knowing only about the depressive side. It was almost as if my past doctors couldn't see anything past depression or schizophrenia. After only 5 minutes, my new doc said, "You're a classic bipolar 2 sufferer," and began to explain everything to me.

I now take Lamictal and Lithium daily as well as Xanax and Lunesta PRN. The doc has increased the Lamictal over the months and I switched from Klonopin to Xanax because I felt like I was experiencing every side effect known to man from the Klonopin . I still have mild cycling - minor sadness to hypomania, but nothing life-altering like before (staying in bed all day to being super-woman - thinking I was the greatest thing to ever exist). My meds are still being "tweaked" monthly to see if we can get a good balance so I will not cycle one way or the other.

I was never suicidal and my mania was self-centered. I actually think I did a good job of hiding it from everyone as it never affected my work. I think when I was manic, most people just thought I was stuck on myself. When I was depressed, I was quiet and they took it for another part of me just being a big old *****.

I let my doc, husband, and therapist know that this time around I need to be hounded and harassed if I even think about skipping an appointment or going off of my meds.

Anyhow, for awhile it felt strange to be "normal." I didn't feel like myself. Now that I am actually accepting this Dx, I am getting to know who I really am. I only hope that too many people won't look down on me once I have my first nursing job (if they need to know, that is).

My only worry is that the BON here asks "Do you now or have you ever had a mental illness that could possibly inhibit your function as an RN?" My answer would be "no" because it has never affected any of my work in the past, in fact, I always received favorable reviews at any job I held. It has only affected my personal/social life. If any of my meds were to show up in my drug test and I had answered "no," would that be considered lying? I feel that I am being honest by answering "no." Eh, boards are 2 years away for me, guess I'll worry then!

Thanks for reading my story and thank you to everyone else for sharing your stories (it's taken me 3 days to get through all of them!).

[aknottedyarn]

Welcome to the club! Glad you are here. I could have written your story except that the med thing took forever to get the right combo. I had Stevens-Johnson syndrome with Lamictal, EPS on Lithium and now am pretty stable on Depakote and Neurontin, Bupropion, plus some Klonopin on occ. Doc also has me on Omega 3. I used to take fish oil and now use a combo Omega. Will change to plain 3 when I run out of present supply.

My BON asks if you have been treated within the past 2 years so I have to ans. yes and get the Psychiatrist to write a letter, as do I. It is not a problem. I found out that I really suffer from SAD and so sun light is a necessity. I use a full spectrum light.

I ended up retiring because of dx. Med changes were terrible while trying to work. I still am hypomanic much of the time. I can handle that better than the depression so am OK now.

I felt so good when I found out I could write about it here. Just writing it once did wonders for me.

I would be honest with BON. Depends how they ask the question. You may have to acknowledge to BON. Unfortunately the rest of the world is not quite so ready to hear about our MI. They enjoyed being able to talk about our ******* attitudes but usually can't deal with cause.

Best of luck.

[intensity_too]

Hello everyone!

I'm happy to find this little post as I am a nursing student and suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, major depression, as well as Bipolar type 2.

My school, in a way, knows of my diagnosis as I get assistance from the vocational rehabilitation office of my school. They essential pay for 1/2 my tuition in order for me to get my degree.

I had a mjor relapse in August of last year and ended up with a 3 day stay on the adult pysch ward of our local hospital. It was the best thing to happen to me because I found the best psychiatrist who has been a pleasure to work with. He always listens to me, and considers my feelings which is awesome. We did some med switching at the beginning of the year, and I have felt the best I have in years because of it.

I currently take Geodon, Effexor, Wellbutrin, lorazepam, and doxepin.

I'll read more through this thread later when I have time. Right now I have to shower and get ready for lab so I can do some test outs!!! EEEK!

[zoeboboey]

Nice to hear from everybody and welcome to new members! I am still job hunting. Scared to death my references may say too much (DON knows two of them personally) EEEK!

[Fuzzy]

I'm fighting some demons now too. Hate this time of year as they all seem to come out. I really hate med changes as that screws me up too. Oh well I'll just have to try and "enjoy" the experience again.

Fuzzy

[Babs0512]

Med changes can suck big time, however, they are usually a necessity. I nearly always end up missing some work when they do med changes. I either can't hold my head up at all, or if I can, my speech is slurred so I sound drunk. I try to change meds on my weekend off to see how it affects me, but even then it usually takes longer than a weekend to become accustomed to the new dosage. You'll find understanding here.

[zoeboboey]

Originally Posted by Fuzzy

I'm fighting some demons now too. Hate this time of year as they all seem to come out. I really hate med changes as that screws me up too. Oh well I'll just have to try and "enjoy" the experience again.

Fuzzy

"Enjoy". Aren't you funny

I have a hard time this time of year too. Maybe part of it is dread that oh no! I'm going to be home bound (due to the weather) soon! There is so much I wanted to do, I better do it now before the winter doldrums hit!

And right now I am dealing w/ a lot of fear about whether I can get another job - since I just bought a car in August! I yi yi! So I am eating a lot of junk I should not be eating (get hypoglycemic which causes anxiety, and being doped up on carbs makes me depressed, fat, disgusted...)

Originally Posted by Babs0512

Med changes can suck big time, however, they are usually a necessity. I nearly always end up missing some work when they do med changes. I either can't hold my head up at all, or if I can, my speech is slurred so I sound drunk. I try to change meds on my weekend off to see how it affects me, but even then it usually takes longer than a weekend to become accustomed to the new dosage. You'll find understanding here.

HATE it. Yep I can sure relate. ((((((((Babs ))))))))

[Chapookie]

One of the reasons I was more than happy to move south was that I also had some issues with SAD and even on meds, I would be in constant pain and my old doc would just prescribe opioid pain meds that just made me even more depressed. Glad I'm not predisposed to addiction, that's for sure (I'm always wary of taking any pain meds other than OTC unless I feel like I'm dying). It does get dark early down here in the winter but at least it's not always cloudy and grim. I feel for those of you suffering with SAD who are awaiting another winter. I know the last thing anyone of us wants to hear is "hang in there," but that's all that can come to my mind right now.

[zoeboboey]

Originally Posted by Chapookie

One of the reasons I was more than happy to move south was that I also had some issues with SAD and even on meds, I would be in constant pain and my old doc would just prescribe opioid pain meds that just made me even more depressed. Glad I'm not predisposed to addiction, that's for sure (I'm always wary of taking any pain meds other than OTC unless I feel like I'm dying). It does get dark early down here in the winter but at least it's not always cloudy and grim. I feel for those of you suffering with SAD who are awaiting another winter. I know the last thing anyone of us wants to hear is "hang in there," but that's all that can come to my mind right now.

I've never really struggled w/ the S.A.D. as far as that goes - I can get depressed ANY old time!

As to the lights - some people can trigger mania by using them so be careful not to use them too much!