[suzy253]

Hooray for Netters!!!
I love you to bits Jnette. Thanks for all your good advice and support over the years.

[jnette]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH, MY !!!


Oh. My.


Stutter. Oh my indeed. This is truly a most rare occasion you are witnessing here, my dearest Allnurses friends. I am truly struggling for words.

And I truly don't even know how to begin to respond to all the kind words written here. Except to say a most heartfelt THANK YOU, and that I am so very humbled and grateful to have all of you as siblings and friends. Gee.

But Tweeters... when I read your last line about "your head might get too big for your beanie" ........you could have heard my startled laugh across the street at the neighbors !!!

I thank each and every one of you for your kind comments, and know that it is by being here with you all for the past 4 yearswhich has truly helped me to grow as a person and as a nurse. I have learned so much here about allowing others their POV, about not always having to push my own, about tolerance and even embracing views different from my own.. how to truly ENGAGE in civil debate... and what I have learned here re NURSING has been irreplaceable and invaluable.

Yes, Leslie... I tasted your tears. (((((((((HUGS)))))))))
You already know how special you are to me, and how I look up to your nursing experience and knowlege and expertise. Know too, that the forest must consist of willow AND oak... and so many others. There is room for all and a need for all... each has a puropse in this life.. and no purpose is greater than the other, nor less than the other.

Uro-RN... thank you for the poem which succeeded in raising the hair on my arms. I'm going to print that and carry it with me in my wallet...how very beautiful. THANK YOU, again.

Siri... true friends are rare indeed. And I am honoured to know you are one of mine.

Mary.. yes, sharing a Deep Dish Original Chicago Pizza together would have been unforgettable!

Suzy, Steph, Fun, Kay,Chaya, Beary, prmnrs.... Roy... (good JOB!!!) ... canohead, jmgrn, Gooey, Trauma, and Grace........................ ALL of you... you're all simply the best, and without all of you, I would be only half of who I am!

NrsKaren... I thank you for this honour, and I'm truly humbled by it. Not used to being all serious like this... heh... love dishing out praise, but not so familiar with accepting it. A new learning experience. Always did love a challenge.

And NrsKaren... I am always amazed and impressed by your wealth of nursing wisdsom and helpful links and references... you've been my personal
"medical dictionary" for years now! Thank you for all you contribute!

OK... need to catch my breath here, and try to digest this... and wipe the tears trying to escape from my eyes.

You are all the BEST. On that note... gotta regain my composure and regroup for a minute... OUTTA HERE for awhile!

[suzy253]

oh my Netters.....you are most deserving.
We ALL love you!!!

[jnette]

Oh... sorry... but I must add something here.

This couldn't have come at a more appropriate and needed time.

For the past four mos. since starting in HH, I have had the privelege of caring for one of the sweetest patients to grace this earth. A lovely little true "country" man of 85... and whose son I had cared for while yet in dialysis.. but he passed away the week I switched to HH. Then I had the surprising honour of caring for his aging father.

For every single day, I went to see this man. Due to my "route", he was always my first visit. He was sooooooooooooooo very lonely... no family members who would come to visit... stuck way back in a rundown trailer on an isolated dirt road with age old fields surrounded by wild blackberry bushes, jumping deer, roaming bear, and swarming with copperheads.

This little patient was my first smile for the day. He sat by his phone faithfully each and every morning, waiting for my call... and when I did, you could hear the gleeful smile in his voice... "Hi, BabyDoll! You comin' up? I'm jes' settin' here a'waitin' on ya, Honey!" And when I'd leave, after hugs, he'd always beg me to be careful on "them thar roads"... "I don't want nothin' to happen to ye.. want you to be able to come back and see me!"

Last week, I stopped before going up and brought him some biscuit and gravey, and his all time favorite breaded pork tenderloin for breakfast. You never saw a happier man.. and he did not attempt to hide his tears of gratitude.

As I reached for the phone this morning to call him and greet him.. my colleague stopped me. "Oh.. no.. did you not know? XXXX died last night."

I could not speak for what seemed like hours. I stared at her in disbelief, even anger. My jaw would not shut. I thought she was pulling some morbidly sick joke, but I knew her better than that. I nearly passed out, I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach by a mule.

But it was true. My little man is gone. Yesterday was the last time I was to see him smile, have him pick fun at me, feel his generous arms hug me in gratitude. Never again to hear "ya comin' up, BabyDoll"?

He was FINE yesterday. FINE. We don't know yet, but are assuming massive heart attack... even though he has never had a cardiac hx. or event. One of the aides had stopped by there in the late afternoon, and found him dead.

And to think it could have been me to find him this morning... oh horror!

So your words posted above have brought comfort to my aching heart this afternoon, and remember... our patients are precious... every one of them.

[LPN,RNNow]

What a wonderful person to profile. I don't think I have ever read a negative post from her. Jnette is an asset to this board.

[sirI]

Aw, jnette, I know that had to come a great shock for you. Bless your sweet soul. Know that you gave him pleasure every single day of his life just by being there for him when he needed your kind self and your nursing expertise. You, in turn, shall be blessed. ((((HUGS))))

[earle58]

aw jnette.....

your heart is as big as Gods' green earth.

when i think of the nsg specialties, that enable us to develop an ongoing relationship with our pts, i think of hospice, home health, dialysis, ltc. i'm sure there are more.
when i graduated nsg school, i specifically sought those areas that would allow me to spend 1:1 w/my pt population.
the downside is the potential for attachment and the subsequent pain that ensues, when working w/any pt dx'd w/a terminal or near-terminal condition.
working in hospice for sev'l yrs, i have seen my share of suffering. not just physically, but emotionally & spiritually.
so when i read about a story, such as yours, i smile.
what a blessed way to leave this earth.
so quick & unexpected....those words of "cardiopulmonary arrest" echo in my ears.
but whenever my lils and lom (little old ladies, little old men) died w/o any evident cause (except by virtue of their age?), the doctors would complain that they just couldn't put down "cardiopulmonary arrest" as a cause of death.......again.
i don't know why it touches and tickles me so.
perhaps i am recalling the dozens and dozens of lil/lom i've had the privilege of caring for? ea and every one touched my soul in a unique but powerful way.
and even though they became hospice pts because of a ftt dx, most of them rallied and gave you a run for your money, right until the very end.
so quick....no one saw it coming; even if they were 95.

i tell you all of this, so you can smile.
God knew exactly what He was doing when you entered dialysis and now, home health.
your friend was rich because he had you for a nurse.
his last days were eternally blissful. you gave him hope. and joy.
i promise, those tears will turn to a warm & fuzzy memory.

leslie xo

[jnette]

I would far rather suffer the tears of attachment and loss than to squelch the giving and the caring by being "detached"... nursing CARE is for THEIR sake, not mine. I've always been a believer in "better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all".

I am grateful for having had the privilege of caring for him and knowing that I was able to bring some joy into his life for these past mos. What greater reward is there?

Must go tackle my visit notes for today.

Thank you all... again.

[RainDreamer]

Congrats, jnette!!

Jnette was one of the first people I met on this board. I remember when I first started posting on the good morning thread, I didn't know anyone .... but she was one of the people that made me feel welcome. I even remember she had the Garfield avatar (I love Garfield!). So warm and welcoming ..... made me feel a part of the group.

Jnette has encouraged me a lot these last couple of years. While finishing nursing school, getting a new job, changing jobs, and just trying to get through this really tough time in my life as being a new nurse ..... she's always so supportive and encouraging.

She's always got a smile to share. Always lifting others up. Always looking for the good in people and things. She has given me so much to think about in my own life ..... to try and look at things in a better light.

When I would hear her talking about her dialysis patients, and now when I hear her talking about her HH patients ...... I can see she TRULY cares about each of these people. She puts her whole heart into her job. She advocates for these patients, she definitely makes a difference in their lives. I hope I can be as good of a nurse as jnette is.

Jnette, thank you for being you, and thank you for coming into my life and helping me at a time when I need it most. Love you!

[weetziebat]

Ahh.....Jnette, I'll never be articulate enough to convey how much you mean to me, and how much I've enjoyed knowing you over the past couple of years.
You are a nurses' nurse - the one we'd all like taking care of us, or our loved ones, if we were sick.
Your kindness, caring, knowledge, your sense of humor, and perhaps most, your being so 'real' shines through all your posts. You just come across as everyone's 'best friend'. You always seem to know just the right thing to say, and you say it so wisely.
I'm so sorry to hear about your patient's death, but I'm certain he felt blessed having you visit every day during his final months.
Lots of love and hugs to you, my friend. and