[BAtoCNM]

Yes, I've heard this from several woman that, when they choose the CNM route or a low-tech birth in general, people accuse them of everything from being a naive hippy to being a child abuser. Some women who want to give birth at home or with no epidural pain relief are chided for being silly or denied choice once they're in labor and can't really argue.

[crissrn27]

Originally Posted by sarah0119

I'd just like to add that it works the other way too...it also happens that women are made to feel silly or marginilized for wanting to go natural. Not just from doctors or nurses, but family and friends. And I got many "oh, um okay" type-comments regarding my decision to breastfeed. I didn't go around preaching why "everyone" should bf, but people often think negatively of it, and also my declaration that my next birth would be pain free (or at least attempted.

So it goes does go both ways...

I got this too. My MIL would say you are still BF?, but she is 13 months old, give her cows milk and just got really mad when I said but she is a baby human not a baby cow! Even my own mom said more times than I could count, "boy am I glad I never did that (breast feeding)" it does work both ways............I certainly didn't tell my SIL I thought she was a bad mother for bottlefeeding.

[tntrn]

Originally Posted by crissrn27

I got this too. My MIL would say you are still BF?, but she is 13 months old, give her cows milk and just got really mad when I said but she is a baby human not a baby cow! Even my own mom said more times than I could count, "boy am I glad I never did that (breast feeding)" it does work both ways............I certainly didn't tell my SIL I thought she was a bad mother for bottlefeeding.

If those are direct quotes, then they didn't say you were wrong for breastfeeding either; just that they were happy they never did it. And even if you didn't tell your SIL you thought she was a bad mother for bottlefeeding, do you think she is a bad mother for bottlefeeding? People read so much into what isn't really said and sometimes that becomes the real message.

I did not breastfeed either of my children, had no desire whatsoever to do so. I am very close to each of them (they were held for each and every bottle and never learned that they could hold it themselves); They are bright, intelligent, productive adults who are successfull and I challenge anyone to pick them out of a crowd, do the "tsk, tsk,, they weren't breast fed".

It's a choice, people. Maybe not your choice or my choice, but it's someone's choice, and we should honor it as their choice and support them as much as we can.

[crissrn27]

Originally Posted by tntrn

If those are direct quotes, then they didn't say you were wrong for breastfeeding either; just that they were happy they never did it. And even if you didn't tell your SIL you thought she was a bad mother for bottlefeeding, do you think she is a bad mother for bottlefeeding? People read so much into what isn't really said and sometimes that becomes the real message.

I did not breastfeed either of my children, had no desire whatsoever to do so. I am very close to each of them (they were held for each and every bottle and never learned that they could hold it themselves); They are bright, intelligent, productive adults who are successfull and I challenge anyone to pick them out of a crowd, do the "tsk, tsk,, they weren't breast fed".

It's a choice, people. Maybe not your choice or my choice, but it's someone's choice, and we should honor it as their choice and support them as much as we can.

The exact words aren't the issue, the intent of the message is. And the message in this case was....you shouldn't be breastfeeding and I think you are probably hurting your child. And of course I don't think my SIL is a bad mother, she is great! And I have never said anything, not even veiled comments,(like they did with me), to imply otherwise.

[Oznurse2b]

Oh you should come over to Australia!!

We are starting to adopt more of a "birth centre" way! In a birth centre there is no "medical" intervention...if you want an epi or other drugs (not including gas) you are then transferred over to the birth suite on the ward. All Australian public births are initially manged by a midwife, only seeing an obs if there are problems...

Mind you though, there is a waiting list quite long to some midwife managed programs, so they are quite popular with few and far between.