[cathleenmermaid]

Hi everyone: I am a student nurse from maine, and I did not know who else to ask except the experienced hospice nurses. My dad is 80 was had stroke last oct 2005 was told to us he only had two weeks then. he has lung cancer that mestis from lung to brain ,now he is bedriden all the time
and barely talks ,what does the twilght mean i have heard it a couple of times
from some RN's? but most of all ,why does he have these awful secretions from his mouth? The sponges just dont seem to work very well. It is thick
and he tries to cough it up but.. The hospice RNs say he is just dying but as a student nurse im courious. He has been extreamly healthy all of his life no heart, diabietes, nothing. what can I do to help him? I thougt I lost
him last week, he was asleep for three days no drink no food for 3 days then. he looked at me but no eye contact, why does he sleep so much?
Thanks for any input. God bless you all!!!

[suebird3]

Sorry to hear about your father.
To answer a few questions: The secretions are thick, due to the lack of fluid intake.

I have also heard of "angel eyes", where the Hospice person "sees" loved ones who have passed on ahead of him/her. This may be what you have heard as "twilight".

Suebird

[earle58]

hi cathleen,

an increase in sleep and a decrease in appetite are both natural events in dying.
if your father is immobile/bedridden and not eating or swallowing, then oral secretions will pool, necessitating meticulous mouth care. when secretions are excessive, there are meds that can help in drying the secretions.
what can you do for him?
just sitting by his side, holding his hand, talking, loving him.
he can still hear you.
i know, it's a painful process.
but it will also be one of your most meaningful and memorable experiences.
wishing you peace.

leslie