[NeoRNtobe]

Hey all your hospice nurses. I am a 21 y.o. student starting nursing school in the spring. My mom passed away from ovarian cancer May '03 and I spent 10 days in the hospital with her before we decided to go the hospice route. I was floored by how caring and sincere the nurses who helped us were. You guys are heroic nurses in my mind. I considered becoming a hospice nurse but when I think back to my experience I don't know if I could handle it. My question is: Do you guys think that it would be a lot different to nurse someone other than your own mother?

(side note: My maternal grandmother also died of ovarian cancer and she went the Hospice route too. My mom ended up having the same hospice nurses 17 years apart)

[saribeth]

Losing your Mom at such an young age must be so difficult...how amazing that your Mom and Grandmother had the same nurses...people always say "How do you do it"...well, these pts are not related to me, therefore, it is not as heart wrenching, even though I do get very attached to my pts and their families. It often makes me very sad but it never depresses me or I would not be able to do this type of work. If you feel that you would like to do hospice work then you should go for it, but you are so young and there are so many "happier" endings out there...get lots of med surg experience and then if your heart keeps tugging in that direction they you must follow it! All the best, Janie

[earle58]

how wonderful that your mom and grandmother had the same hospice nurse.
and i too, am extremely sorry about losing your mom at such a young age.

i can answer your question in the form of something i am experiencing.
my sister has very aggressive breast cancer and is undergoing treatment.
it has been an emotional rollercoaster to me and a poster here on this board, pm'd me and told me that i cannot be a nurse to my sister; just be her sister.

and i think the same holds true here.
it's a lot different (and very difficult) being a nurse (especially hospice) to a family member than to any other type of patient.

i recently had to turn down an offer to be a hospice nurse to a 'friend' of mine that i haven't seen in years. but when we were together, we were soulmates. when i heard about her needing hospice care, i cried from the soles of my feet. and it was her husband that tracked me down to ask if i would assist his wife in leaving this earth.
after much thought, i had to decline. the emotions were too powerful and i felt i wouldn't be able to help her or her family if i couldn't be strong.

i wish you much luck in whatever path you pursue.
and no matter where you end up in nsg., it's never the same type of nsg when it's a family member.

wishing you peace,

leslie