[VivaLasViejas]

I remember being in the hospital a few years ago with chest pain of a suspicious nature. Even as a nurse, I was scared spitless because I was experiencing the symptoms I'd seen so many times in my career.......and then some well-meaning but none-too-diplomatic lady stopped by to visit my roommate and, evidently, to bring the "Good News" to me as well.

"Dear woman," she began, "have you found God yet?"

I couldn't help myself. Dang me for watching Forrest Gump too many times.......

"I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for Him," I shot back before rolling over and trying to go to sleep.

The take-away lesson is, of course, to let the PATIENT guide us as to how to approach end-of-life concerns, especially in the spiritual realm. I'm not a hospice nurse, but even I know better than to initiate conversations with patients about such personal issues as religion and faith unless they make the first move. It's the respectful thing to do.

[caroladybelle]

Originally Posted by GardenerGirl

How far can you go in comforting your patients and their loved-ones? If they are afraid of dying and you know you have good news for them, just how much can you say?

I expect to get out that Koran and give them the good news about Allah, and the goodness of him in sending his great prophet, Mohammed to teach us.

At least, I presume that is what you meant.....wasn't it. I mean, what other great news could the dying patient want but the "Truth"..... What other truth is there?

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One person's "truth" and good news that they "know" is correct is another's myth and harmful belief. Most anyone, no matter how faithful and assured of their own beliefs in their G-d, worries at death....how their loved ones will go on, anxiety about the unknown, about pain and discomfort while dying, and about conflicts left unresolved. This has nothing to do with lack of Faith...I have seen the very religious be as anxious as atheists at times, about death. As a nurse, I focus on those issues. I do not bring up my beliefs about my "good news" unless questioned directly by the patient, and even then, I only say what I believe in, and in NO WAY, preaching what they need to believe. Nor do I indicate that they "have to " believe that to have peace after death.

If you feel that you know the only TRUE "good news" and are so moved by generousity of spirit that you MUST always share these beliefs with everyone, regardless whether it is appropriate or not, please think carefully about whether you should be in hospice. It is inappropriate to proselytyze to the dying patient. A much better option is parish nursing, doing occasional mission or volunteer work that is religiously based.

Remember the Golden rule. Would you want a satanist/wiccan/muslim/hindu trying to convert you as you lay dying? Because their "good news" is just as much truth to them, as your is to you.

The Scripture I shared was for GardenerGirl's benefit, not, obviously, for her to be quoting to a patient. We are free to share our beliefs only upon the patient's request and never to try and coerse them into asking either.

[shrinky]

I think that as nurses we have to be concerned about the whole patient which includes physical, psychsocial and spiritual health of our patients. If a patient has real concerns about their spiritual health at a moment in time that the nurse is there, we need to address that concern. Some of my most needy patients were preachers. I don't open the door, but if the door is open then I enter at the level of the patient. No, we never push our beliefs on anyone but I do feel we need to answer questions when asked. Sometimes the chaplain is not involved in the case and we may not have the time to get a referral. Listen to the patient and answer as best as you can, with love.

[aimeee]

I have to weigh in with Leslie and the others on this one. If a patient is terrified of dying, sharing the Good News with him/her is not likely to be reassuring. You can be certain they have heard the Good News before in their life. For whatever reason, that is not bringing them comfort. That fear of dying is a major issue in their care plan because its a huge barrier to a peaceful death. The approach taken to alleviate the distress should be shared and supported by the entire IDT, but following the lead of your trained professionals, your counseling services team.

[aimeee]

Even if a patient directly ASKS about my beliefs, I still feel it inappropriate to share more that a very minimal amount to satisfy their response. For instance, if a patient says to me "do you believe in heaven and hell?"...they aren't really interested in what I think. They may be looking for validation of their belief, or they may be fearing that on their arrival in heaven some of their loved ones will not be there and they will have to face the anguish of "knowing" that their loved one was condemned to the pits of hell. My job is to do active listening and be alert for the layered meanings in what they are saying. I might give a non-committal response such as "I have imagined what heaven might look like....sounds like you've been thinking about this....(pause for them to say more and if they do not, extend an invitation) "what's on your mind about heaven and hell today?"

[traumaRUs]

I deal with chronically ill pts on a daily basis. I have had some pts ask about my beliefs and like others have stated, I keep things very general. It is okay to pray with patients (and I have done so). However, even then, I keep things general.

It is my place to offer comfort and care, not to convert them.

[earle58]

Originally Posted by aimeee

Even if a patient directly ASKS about my beliefs, I still feel it inappropriate to share more that a very minimal amount to satisfy their response. For instance, if a patient says to me "do you believe in heaven and hell?"...they aren't really interested in what I think. They may be looking for validation of their belief, or they may be fearing that on their arrival in heaven some of their loved ones will not be there and they will have to face the anguish of "knowing" that their loved one was condemned to the pits of hell. My job is to do active listening and be alert for the layered meaningsin what they are saying. I might give a non-committal response such as "I have imagined what heaven might look like....sounds like you've been thinking about this....(pause for them to say more and if they do not, extend an invitation) "what's on your mind about heaven and hell today?"

perfect, perfect, perfect!
and absolutely.
it really takes an experienced hospice nurse to understand what a pt is seeking for a response.
unless a pt specifically asks for Christian (or fill in the blank) scripture, do not ever assume for such questions to reflect on what the nurse 'thinks'.
ask...tell the pt, "i'm not understanding what you're asking...you sound frightened, anxious, sad, etc."

aimeee, beautiful, beautifuly response.

leslie

[elkpark]

Originally Posted by aimeee

Even if a patient directly ASKS about my beliefs, I still feel it inappropriate to share more that a very minimal amount to satisfy their response. For instance, if a patient says to me "do you believe in heaven and hell?"...they aren't really interested in what I think. They may be looking for validation of their belief, or they may be fearing that on their arrival in heaven some of their loved ones will not be there and they will have to face the anguish of "knowing" that their loved one was condemned to the pits of hell. My job is to do active listening and be alert for the layered meanings in what they are saying. I might give a non-committal response such as "I have imagined what heaven might look like....sounds like you've been thinking about this....(pause for them to say more and if they do not, extend an invitation) "what's on your mind about heaven and hell today?"

I completely agree. Thank you.

[doodlemom]

Originally Posted by aimeee

Even if a patient directly ASKS about my beliefs, I still feel it inappropriate to share more that a very minimal amount to satisfy their response. For instance, if a patient says to me "do you believe in heaven and hell?"...they aren't really interested in what I think. They may be looking for validation of their belief, or they may be fearing that on their arrival in heaven some of their loved ones will not be there and they will have to face the anguish of "knowing" that their loved one was condemned to the pits of hell. My job is to do active listening and be alert for the layered meanings in what they are saying. I might give a non-committal response such as "I have imagined what heaven might look like....sounds like you've been thinking about this....(pause for them to say more and if they do not, extend an invitation) "what's on your mind about heaven and hell today?"

I definitely could not have said it better myself! Thanks.