[tencat]

Thank you for the advice guys! You guys are always so great. I really am attracted to the autonomy that hospice will provide. I also feel drawn to it for some reason. I guess it's because I've seen so many 'ugly' deaths in the hospital and I feel that there has to be a better way to transition out of this life than hooked up to ten different drips and fifty machines (exaggerating, I know )

[prostreetrig]

Hello there. I have been a Hospice nurse going over a year now. The day I dropped off my application I was questioning what I was doing. The problem is Hospice brings about terrifying emotions. Dead people, cancer, dying, pain, etc. Hospice is so far from that in so many ways. There is a huge lack of knowledge in palliative care and Hospice. As far as knowing if you can handle it emotionally I would say try it. For instance, my first death I witnessed was a gentleman who requested to be terminally sedated. He had lung ca with mets to the bone. THis guy was in severe pain with no help from Fentanyl, methadone, Roxanol, ativan, etc. I watched this man go from being a kind dying man who was enjoying life as best he could to a mad man. His pain was so severe and he was so dehydrated he began getting violent. The day I walked in his room he looked at me with glazed over eyes and said get out of my room. I told him I was his nurse and he said "you're supposed to be my nurse" He thought all of his family and Hospice was there to take his soul. Poor guy, anywho, long story short, he finally died after he was sedated for about a day. I actually handled it well. I knew he was in a better place without the pain, the cancer, etc. Hope this helps some. Good luck.
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