[fairyprincess2003]

Hey everyone.
I need some advice from experience.

[renerian]

Wow tough call. I hope your mom and grandmom talked about advance directives before this time cause it is so important to help you mother direct her care. I personally would call hospice to help your family cope with her, sounds like soon to me too, impending death. They are great....... I am a hospice volunteer for 10 years so far.

renerian

[jemb]

I. too, agree that your grandmother seems to be near the end. Personally, I would keep her at home. HOWEVER , since it is your mom that she is at home with, your mom will need to make the decision. You could help her by asking if the subject of prolonging her life/ code status/ heroic measures ever came up in conversation with your grandmother, and if your grandmother had expressed any particular desires in reference to her death. If she did not state any preferences, then your mom, as closest kin, may be the decision maker. It's a tough situation for everyone involved.

Something in your post piqued my curiosity --- Did your grandmother lose any children in her lifetime? Miscarriages, stillborn, or even later in life? I wondered about the "baby in the room". Sometimes people approaching death will see (real or imagined?) those who have already passed.

I wish you and your family the best in this difficult situation.

Noeljan,

Try to get a Hospice referral pronto if for no other reason than to get an assessment of where your grandmother is in the process. You can do that by calling your grandmother's PCP and asking for a referral to Hospice. If that fails, call a Hospice in the phone book and explain your situation. They maybe able to facilitate a referral. Ideally a Hospice nurse will be able to alleviate some of your mom's concerns and help her to make realistic plans for your grandmother's care.

It's impossible to say if she is very close to death. If she is capable of getting up and walking around, then she may be weeks away; or not. You need a professional in to take a look at her and help you and your mom sort out what's best for everyone. Good luck!

[MiddleT]

By the time you get this message, I feel that your grandmother may have already passed away. As a hospice nurse, your assessment sounded like she was making a change to leave. My hope is that she is/was too ill to move to the hospital. Most people would prefer to die at home with family around them. From my hospice experiance, I feel your mother has accepted the inevitable. Time has a way of solving a lot of concerns at the end. Take comfort that what ever happens you will be a support for your mother and family.

[New CCU RN]

Hope everyhting is working out for you and your grandmother. It must be difficult to see her in this state

[New CCU RN]

oops i didnt mean to make a mean smiley. sorry!! i do have to say i agree with the above posters that hopefully some sort of conversation about her wishes has come up....

also, i would continue to encourage her to speak to a priest as she is religious and this would definitely benefit her.

perhaps she should seek some medical attention as well so that a md could assess her situation or hospice referal as was mentioned above...i definitely understand that you dont want her in the hospital if the end is near, being at home is much better for her.

best wishes