[misslo]

I just got a job at a local hospice as a CNA. I am fully aware of what hospice is, however, I am wondering how I will feel witnessing my first death. How did you feel? Also, how did you feel the first time you did post-mortem care?

I am sure I can handle it but I'm just not sure what to expect and how I will react. Most likely, I will cry like a baby!

Would you mind sharing your first experience?

Thanks,
MissLo

[lesrn2005]

I was brand-new RN to Hospice. My office wanted me to experience as many situations possible during my month-long orientation, so they sent me over to meet another RN to provide care to an actively dying patient. The home was rural and it was a beautiful spring afternoon. I had met the patient several times the previous week, so was familiar with her. I entered to find three other women in the room watching "Betty", and holding hands. I'll never forget how peaceful and surreal the feeling and surroundings were when she passed. I thought it was the most beautiful moment and how lucky I was to experience such peace at my first "death". I cried when the other nurse put her arm around me. It still brings tears to my eyes over how perfect her death was.

[misslo]

Thank you for replying les. I was beginning to think that my post was being taken wrong for some reason without replies!

Is it usually for the most part surreal? I mean, what should I expect? I want to ask to be able to sit on a death before I experience it alone but I feel almost like I would be invading someones "space". I want to make sure that I can the patient/resident and the family feel as calm as possible, however, I'm not sure how "I" will feel my first time. My mind is saying that I can handle it and handle it well, however when the time actually comes, I'm just not sure.

MissLo

[june2009]

When the time does come, you can take great pride in knowing you were responsible for that person dying with dignity and in comfort because of your efforts. Death is just part of life. Be strong and you will do fine.