[mindyg22]

These stories are amazing. I have always been so afraid of dying but these stories make it seem like it isn't as scary as I had thought. I am not afraid of going to be with God, I am just afraid of actually dying. I don't know why though, I guess I am afraid I will be in pain or that dying will hurt or something. MOst of all, I am afraid of leaving my husband and family.

I think it could be the fear of the unknown. No one can come back and tell you that it's really not that bad. It is sort of like when a woman has her first child. Other women can tell of their experiences but until you experience it for yourself you don't know what it will really feel like and there's an element of fear in that. I'm a Christian and even though I have the promise that the Lord will be with me "even in death" there's still that presiding fear of going through something I've never gone through before.

[henrysmom]

I've done both SICU and hospice nursing, and have seen many, many memorable, special deaths. But one haunts me to this day..

I was charge nurse in a busy SICU. Got a call that we were getting a woman patient from OR, late 50's with metastatic ovarian cancer who had a horrible necrotic bowel. She was a DNR and surgeon came in and told me that the goal was to just "keep her alive" until her daughter and husband got there from a retreat that they had been at and that they were expected by morning. She had battled cancer for a long time, and had actually had terrible pain for days, but wanted her family to go to the retreat so never told them. The surgeon had opened her up and found a totally dead bowel and she was horribly septic. She was surprisingly, extubated and arousable. He ordered a morphine drip and basically told me to do whatever I needed to do to keep her going and that he would cover my actions with orders in the morning. I know, please no lectures about my license, etc. I found out from someone that she was actually a relative of his by marriage. He then went over, pulled the drape and talked with her, told her that there was nothing they could do, etc, but that we would keep her comfortable.

AFter he left, I went and talked with her for a few minutes, did my assessment, gave meds, etc. I noticed she was not scared, in fact she was quite calm and peaceful and alert despite just having had surgery. A little while later she told me "I know what's happening, and I know you're not God..but could you do whatever you can to keep me going just until morning so I can see my husband and daughter one more time. But, if I die before then, just know I am with the Lord and tell them I love them".

As the evening progressed, she worsened. Her B/P dropped, and she started looking worse. I started working nonstop, filled a saline bag with dopamine and started it (she was a DNR and in that hospital we couldn't have started Dopamin in the unit on a DNR) with no label, gave liter after liter of fluid, blood, etc. Gently titrated her morphine. It was this beautiful dance between us..dark and quiet in the unit, me working my a## off without a break trying to let her rest while she would occasionally wake up and talk with me, forcing me to slow down and just be with her. When I finally got her somewhat stable I noted she was awake and almost smiling. I decided to sit down for 5 minutes with her and asked her how she looked so calm in this horrible storm. She asked me..."are you saved, do you know Jesus?" I replied, "no, not really", and she said "you don't want to be where I am without him..but I know where I am going. If you like, we can pray together". And this beautiful dying patient said a simple prayer for me! A prayer that God would bless me, guide me, and show me his love and mercy. I cried and we held hands. I wasn't saved that day, but I was so touched by this brave woman that I still remember her face and name.

Towards morning, she drifted off into unconsciousness. About 4 am her daughter and husband rushed in, she woke up and they actually spent about an hour talking softly and praying, until she required a lot more morphine. Finally when dawn approached, she started deteriorating quickly. The surgeon came in, talked with the family and told me to stop the dopamine, etc. She died about an hour later. I'll never forget her and the gift she gave me by showing such bravery and grace in the most horrible conditions. A few years later when my young son was diagnosed with a severe disability, I remembered her and her example and finally was saved. I have had hundreds of patients since then, but that night remains etched in my memory as one of the more important of my life...

[nursey46]

My mom lived with me and she had become bed riddened. The night before she died when i came home at 11pm from work she said she wasn"t feeling well and her stomach hurt. I gave her her med and turned on the Christian chanel. My husband said did I set the timer on the tv? I told him no I had a funney feeling about mom and I wanted to leave it on all night. About five in the morning mom hollered "oh help me". She said she had terrible pain in her stomach. We cslled the ambulance and took her to the hospital. She was 86 years and the family had decided we wouldn't do any heroic measures. The x-rays showed a perforated omentum. I told the Dr to order hospice and i wastaking her home. She only woke up once inthe hospital when my husband came into er. She smiled and said "Oh Jose" She slipped into a coma and we took her home. Hosoice nurse came AND WE GOT HER SOME PAIN MEDS. mY BROTHER, SISTER IN LAW, HUSBAND AND TWO FRIENDS HAD BEEN THERE ALL DAY. aT 7 PM i SENT THEM ALL OUT TO DO THINGS. MY DAD HAD DIED BACK IN 1974 AND MY SISTER JUDY 8 MONTHS BEFORE.i WAS SITING WITH MOM AND SAID TO HER "MOM YOU NEED YOUR NAILS CUT" i PROCEDDED TO CUT HER NAILS AND THEN CRY AND SAY TO HER 'i DIDN'T EVEN NICK YOU THIS TIME" GOD KNOWS THAT I Can't handle long drawnout suffering. Crying I prayed "Jesus, send daddy AND JUDE TO COME GET MOM" SHE TOOK ONE MORE BREATH AND DIED. I KNOW GOD ANSWERED MY PRAY AND MY DAD and sister came to take mom to heaven. NURSEY46

[nursey46]

My mom lived with me and she had become bed riddened. The night before she died when i came home at 11pm from work she said she wasn"t feeling well and her stomach hurt. I gave her her med and turned on the Christian chanel. My husband said did I set the timer on the tv? I told him no I had a funney feeling about mom and I wanted to leave it on all night. About five in the morning mom hollered "oh help me". She said she had terrible pain in her stomach. We cslled the ambulance and took her to the hospital. She was 86 years old and the family had decided we wouldn't do any heroic measures. The x-rays showed a perforated omentum. I told the Dr to order hospice and i was taking her home. She only woke up once inthe hospital when my husband came into er. She smiled and said "Oh Jose" She slipped into a coma and we took her home. Hospice nurse came AND WE GOT HER SOME PAIN MEDS. MY BROTHER, SISTER IN LAW, HUSBAND AND TWO FRIENDS HAD BEEN THERE ALL DAY. aT 7 PM I SENT THEM ALL OUT TO DO THINGS. MY DAD HAD DIED BACK IN 1974 AND MY SISTER JUDY 8 MONTHS BEFORE.i WAS SITING WITH MOM AND SAID TO HER "MOM YOU NEED YOUR NAILS CUT" I PROCEDDED TO CUT HER NAILS AND THEN CRY AND SAY TO HER 'i DIDN'T EVEN NICK YOU THIS TIME" GOD KNOWS THAT I Can't handle long drawnout suffering. Crying I prayed "Jesus, send daddy AND JUDE TO COME GET MOM" SHE TOOK ONE MORE BREATH AND DIED. I KNOW GOD ANSWERED MY PRAYER AND MY DAD and sister came to take mom to heaven. NURSEY46

[ahleesejo]

A second recommendation to read Final Gifts by Callanan and Kelley. Amazing book. It helped me and my family make sense of my Dad's death because we were prepared for the possibility of 'nearing death awareness.'

Dad spent about 36 hrs "preparing for a trip". He was bedridden but pantomimed putting the luggage rack on the car, checking the headlights and brakes...all the things he always did before we took a road trip. During this time he started conversing with friends and family long since dead, but eventually he went to a "banquet" where a "Man in a big white chair" was making sure everyone was having a good time. He would go from our world to the banquet and back again, very peacefully and effortlessly. He was a devout Christian, and we remembered the 23rd Psalm "Thou preparest a table before me..."

I found the earlier interpretations of near death awareness being demonic as questionable, given my personal experience. "Judge not" my friends, until you have witnessed something like this you can't really make such a blanket judgement. My fundamentalist siblings never thought Dad was being "seduced by Satan." I have no doubt that my Dad was dining with God that night.

[nurse430+yrs]

Originally Posted by sassynurse78

Wow interesting thread! I too have had so many experiences that it is hard to narrow it down. They have went from scary (a little woman pleading for me not to leave her because three men were there to take her, she died 8 minutes later) to very peacefull. Although the scariest story I have ever heard, was long before I was a nurse. My aunt was the farthest thing from religious as you could ever imagine. She would say she believed in God, but just didn't give a d#@n about him! As she lay dying in the hospital she related the story that the old man across the hall died last night. Upon further questioning she related that no one had told her this but about 3 in the morning three men in black came to get him and he didn't want to go. A couple days later she related the woman down the hall had passed, three white figures came for her and she wanted to go. She related the three black figures came into her room and just looked at her and she knew she was next. She was. I do not know how much I think is 100% true in these cases, but there are enough of them that I do beleive that somehow the "other side" is close enough to veiw to people that are close to going to it. Has anyone else experienced the "death in 3's"? If not, it is regularly said around where I work that deaths always happen in "3's" and also the "3 little boys"? It is often considered important enough to pass on to the next shift if any of the pts. have reported seeing "3 little boys/kids"?

nurse430+yrs
Deaths in 3's; yes, I worked a Cardiac Step Down Unit for many years;
we always knew that within 3 days there would be 3 deaths; we just didn't know who. Sometimes it was a surprise when an apparently well patient suddenly died.

[dolphinlover]

My dad died last September.I was with him holding his hand .Then i felt the coldest wind I have ever felt blow through.He was in the hospital. H e started changeing colors at this time I told my family he would be gone at midnite.He was.Does this always happehd when someone dies with the cold wind?

[nurse430+yrs]

Originally Posted by dolphinlover

My dad died last September.I was with him holding his hand .Then i felt the coldest wind I have ever felt blow through.He was in the hospital. H e started changeing colors at this time I told my family he would be gone at midnite.He was.Does this always happehd when someone dies with the cold wind?

nurse430+yrs wrote:
You father was fortunate to have you with him as he passed on; Changing colors is normal; when you are close to a person you have a sense of the timing of things (that is your intuitive spirit)--that's why you were able note the predicted time of death; Re: the cold wind; Sometimes it is a cold wind, sometimes a cool breeze, sometimes a warm ocean like breeze.--the significance of each we do not know. Maybe the cold wind was in response to your lose. Maybe it was because after the winter comes the spring...who knows. What season was the most significant to your father? What type of work did he do? .... Thank you for sharing you story and being with your father at his time of transition.

[nurse430+yrs]

Originally Posted by ahleesejo

A second recommendation to read Final Gifts by Callanan and Kelley. Amazing book. It helped me and my family make sense of my Dad's death because we were prepared for the possibility of 'nearing death awareness.'

Dad spent about 36 hrs "preparing for a trip". He was bedridden but pantomimed putting the luggage rack on the car, checking the headlights and brakes...all the things he always did before we took a road trip. During this time he started conversing with friends and family long since dead, but eventually he went to a "banquet" where a "Man in a big white chair" was making sure everyone was having a good time. He would go from our world to the banquet and back again, very peacefully and effortlessly. He was a devout Christian, and we remembered the 23rd Psalm "Thou preparest a table before me..."

I found the earlier interpretations of near death awareness being demonic as questionable, given my personal experience. "Judge not" my friends, until you have witnessed something like this you can't really make such a blanket judgement. My fundamentalist siblings never thought Dad was being "seduced by Satan." I have no doubt that my Dad was dining with God that night.

nurse430+years
Thank you for sharing your story. What a wonderful testimony to life of your father. A server...in life and in death.

I agree with what you say about "near death awareness begin demonic as "questionable"....Judge not is very important. There was only one death that I felt was NOT a peaceful death---I was young and new to nursing and one man who was an alcoholic was dying...he was being given meds to control the withdrawals from alcohol but yet he was still seeing demons carrying him away..he was dying by himself in a hospital with no family members present (or who had ever visited him)......I was a young nurse, young in my development of my own spirituality and didn't know how to help him. However, part of me firmly believed..that even though demons were trying to carry him away, I believed that at the edge of death God/Christ/Universe/Eternal love would still visit him and welcome him. I knew in my heart it was not for me to judge what his life had been like, the choices he had made, but that it was important to give grace.
Thank you again.