[zuzi]

Sorry to hear about, hugs honey!

Ofcourse that everyone of nurses fell overhelming of emotions professional or personal in her nursing life! I remember one night when one of my good friends coming open the door of facility and entered crying in a big style. Her life was more than she could carry out in that moment, so she coming in her day off, because she kew it that there we are for her and she cried and I fell her pain and we stay toghter couple of minute and next day everythink was just past. In another day one of my coworker call me in a way that remember me somenthing not very pleasent from my emotional life so I start cried, I was just me and I explained them what was happend and why I would like not call me again like that and was ok till then!

We are humans, honey, nurses and humans, after I patient die, I need 2 days to become myself, so honey in your case, give yourself time...is normal what is happen with you.... give yourself time, time will heal your burning hurted soul. Let me to give you another hug! With all my heart close to you Zuzi!

[Ginger45]

I am very sorry for you losses. I think that it took Guts to start this post. This happens to alot of nurses because you could not get the job down without shutting down emotionally. I would talk to someone about it. You obviously have alot of hurt inside you.

I myself have never been able to stop caring and it is so hard at times. But I can see how it could happen. I wish you the best of luck. (((hugs)))

[aussiemags]

Hi there. Clearly you are still grieving - give yourself lots more time. Be gentle with yourself. Grieving never really 'ends'. Just when you think you are dealing with it a random song, phrase, sunset.......... whatever, will set you off again. And this is healthy - little brief moments of grief are valid too.
With regards to your nursing, the emotions you are dealing with match those experienced by many if not all your patients and their families. Look to the future and realise that all this will help you enormously, not just as a nurse but as a healthy human being. You know first hand how grief can feel, how it can affect you physically, spiritually and so on. You truly know that grief is a personal thing but one which we all share to some extent. What a wonderful gift to be able to share with your patients and their familes. No, I dont mean that you should sit down and tell them your troubles or share your experiences, but in the manner that you deal with people it will show. They will see it in your eyes, in the way you treat them. You may find patients saying
"it's like you really understand" and guess what? They'll be right. You will understand their feelings and be able to show true respect and empathy.
But hey, you might not be there just yet yourself. And why would you be? You've had a rough time of it and that will take some time to resolve. But please, please dont leave nursing. We need as many nurses with true feelings and true empathy as we can get!
I agree with others who have suggested you find someone to talk things through with. Be aware that 'hardening your heart' is a protective measure and we've all got those. It's meant to protect you until you can deal with it. But now that you've felt the need to start this topic - maybe you're ready to drop a few defences?? That's great!

[canoehead]

I have also found that after dealing with a stressful shift when I should be sad I'm just angry with everyone and everything around me. There are so many damn roadblocks to getting patients the care they need. You can be working all shift and still come out behind- in my case it's an administration issue. Paperwork and "correct" practice comes ahead of all else.