[lil' girl]

Somtimes we just have to put ourselves first. Sounds like you need to distance yourself from them and just take some time for yourself and NOT think about them. Maybe this will give you a fresh perspective on how to deal with all of this. Good Luck and try to enjoy your holidays.

[locolorenzo22]

I think it's just part of the surviving spirit of all of us...I actually just read this book tonight with changing/family/relationship reasons for depression...and I think the best insight I got was this....
"Either become mature enough to love unconditionally, or set conditions on the behaviors that are no good for you"....
Perhaps, even though you love them both.....It's time for you to find support, stick up, and say "Unless you two get help, I love you dearly, but I cannot continue to let your behavior define my life. I am always here for you, but I am not here to tolerate you..."
Please find support that you need to get on with your life, and perhaps they may be mad...but it's your own gumption that will possibly spur them on to recovery....just my .02 cents, Take care of you first...
BTW, I personally don't like the holidays either, and plan on working all of them....no family in the area, and really don't like the whole fake cheer thing....

[nursemary9]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))

I feel so bad for you; Despite the fact that you have distanced yourself a bit from your religion, I will pray that you get thru this season with out too much hurt.

I hope you will continue to feel free to seek support from us here on this site. I know that in the past I have sought and found unconditional support here.

Despite the fact that I still have family & a wonderful husband, I do find myself becoming depressed during this "season of joy".
I do believe that I inherited this from my Mom--who to this day , at age 90, still becomes depressed at this time of year!

Please remember that we are here for you.

[psalm]

One time when I was single I was home for a couple of days and I was leaving the Sat. before Easter to go back to where I was stationed (300 miles away). My dad started a tirade about me leaving before Easter dinner and how i was breaking my mother's heart, blah blah blah...I looked at him and said "Dad, all we do is fight and cry on holidays, the few days I have been home you haven't spent any time with me, other than complaining during dinners, and I just have to go". That was 34 years ago.

So as a survival tactic I stay away. I still "honor" his parent status, but that doesn't mean I have to subject myself to his hurtful, mean-spirited self.

[ms_orion]

I hate this time of year too. So-o-o happy after the new year begins. I love the meaning of Christmas but hate the pressures. I think of the people who have nobody...and I NEVER ask a kid "what did Santa bring you"?...so much pressure on people who are struggling in the first place. I help when I can..throughout the year. Christmas is the birthday of Jesus. When did it become a free-for-all of greed? Oh, I hate the other "give me presents" holidays also. I would rather recieve a gift at an od time of the year from someone who thought of me "just because" than because of "societies rules". Im not a scrooge-just down to earth.

[peds_cna]

So sorry you are feeling down. You are not the only one. Hugs!

[Kymmi]

I was crying as I read your post not because I am sad for me but Im sad for you..HUGS....It sounds like you are going to keep yourself from getting in that same situation because you realize what is going on and alot of women that come from dsyfunctional families end up in one themselves so it makes me happy that you will do well for yourself by recognizing the signs.

My heart goes out to you but if its any comfort to know that by reading what you wrote made me appreciate my family even more than I do.

HUGS!!!!!!

[psalm]

I wish us all the true peace and giving spirit of Christmas that God has sent in His Son Jesus...who was perfect but became man to be an example for us, and to be our Saviour. Sometimes even in a crowd we can be lonely, and Jesus knew that! So for all of us, hugs this day and this season...and don't let anyone bully you into doing anything you don't want/feel comfortable doing ("mandatory" attendance at a family gathering).

[bigredrn57]

JBP, make a list of what you are grateful for.Think of what you have, not what you don't. It is very hard to separate the disease from those you love. One thing I have learned is, "You can't tell an alcoholic anything that they don't think is their idea."

be good to yourself,

[Tweety]

(((hugs))))


It isn't a smiley happy feel good day for all of us. I think that's partly why I'm working a 12-hour shift today. It helps me get through the day.