Originally Posted by Alois Wolf
Well I have a question about this.....(..PS took the clothes in to donate them... I just didn't randomly take in four garbage bags of clothes to my job... that would be a little... weird?)
Ha ha about the clothes, I couldn't quite figure that out
I have nights like you had. They don't mean I'm manic but they DO tell me that if I keep it up I MAY become manic - or depressed. Taking care of my sleep is a major MAJOR behavioral thing I do to keep from triggering mood swings in either direction! Almost have to force myself like a mean parent sometimes! (See the sleep hygiene thread for more). Some have to force themselves to eat. Some have to give someone else their checkbook. But I digress.
Anyway - the most important thing is you, not the outside things. Although you may not attain the outside things if you don't find out whether it IS bipolar, or depression, and start taking care of it. I ended up getting treatment for my bipolar and being on loads of meds when I went into crisis - I couldn't hold off any longer. I put myself in major jeopardy by waiting - ended up w/ a suicide attempt (1985, first time I was dx with depression) - and upon hospitalization went into a major manic state (probably triggered by an antidepressant too). This was after getting sober! which is supposed to be a good thing! (I was using alcohol to control my bipolar, probably).
I also wonder if my illness would have advanced so far, whether I'd have needed so many outpatient and inpatient hospitalizations, so many different meds that I had to try - if I had started out by taking care of it sooner - and started applying the principles I know about now. MOSTLY dealing w/ the illness spiritually. When I am not right w/ God - I am not right about anything.
Anyway - trying to say, it is going to affect your life anyway. Do you want it to make a MAJOR impact, or a more manageable one? To learn more about the illness from someone who has it and has written books, I would check out
http://www.bipolarhappens.com which is a mostly behavioral management method.
I am at the point now where I am on half the meds I was on (w/ medical supervision) partly because I got Jesus! and am healing! and also using a lot of the methods I have learned from therapy, from a support group called DBSA (depression-bipolar-support-alliance, which is free AND anonymous! - you don't have to have both depression and bipolar in order to go)! Also wouldn't have made it without the help of a group of very trusted friends who truly understood and DID NOT JUDGE! (many have said that trusting people from work is iffy). Also, the internet - when I couldn't talk to people face to face, I found people - I found a way to get thru. Even tho now I wonder if I said too much ... it did save my butt!!!
The only problem I have w/ the bipolarhappens author is that she seems to tell people they can excuse their behavior because of the illness - and in instructing those who are close to people who have bipolar, she seems to imply they should understand, not blame, not get angry ... Well, if you are drunk and belligerent, it still hurts. Same w/ if you do wrong while manic or depressed - it's still wrong, and you still have to make it right - apologize, pay back the debt from the uncontrolled spending, whatever, stop the behavior in the future. That was a lesson I just recently learned - I kept excusing myself "because I was sick".
I knew there was a reason I connected w/ you Alois lol - you'll be ok. I think one of the keys has been appreciating my own quirkiness! and I do
Sorry I went on so long!
*Alois*
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Does anyone else experience this or is it just me???
