[Thunderwolf]

I will start off the thread:

My maternal grandparents were born and raised in West Virginia and Kentucky. My grandfather was 1/2 Blackfeet. Due to the culture of his time, he was ashamed and denied his heritage....all through his life. Much was due to how NAIs were viewed and treated when he was a young man. In that day and age and locale, being called "Indian or half-breed" was very near to being called the N word associated with Afro Americans back then. He was ashamed and refused to acknowledge it and would often become very angry when addressed as such. He was a drinking man when he was younger, much I feel to fill in that void that he himself cut out. To his death as an old man, he denied his heritage. As a result, during the course of his life, the family knew better and never pushed him on it as a subject. Out of respect for him, the family allowed the NAI knowledge and the red way of life to die with him. Personally, I lost so much from their life long decision. His son, my uncle, was pretty much a chip off the old block for nearly most of his life as well.

My grandmother was a little bit more of the exception. She was 1/2 Cherokee, but often hid much of this way of life due to my Grandfather and also due to the times and where she lived. During the course of her life, she would share just a little about it here and there. When her children, like my mother, would ask about it, she would discuss it some....but, she would not go into much detail. However, later in my life, my mother would relay to me tales of when she and her mother would go into the woods "to gather medicine" for the family.

My mother was my initial exposure to my NAI roots. I will write about my mother later in another thread.

My second exposure was my other uncle, by marriage, who was part Apache. He would have a drinking problem off and on during the course of his life. However, I remember quite clearly, as a young boy, a situation when my uncle was a young man. He was drunk and crying openly in sobs about "how the Indian was treated". This impacted me greatly for I so looked up to him then as a boy. I will never forget that moment with my uncle and the rending of his heart in front of me.

My mother has been one of the few family members that has stepped forward, claimed, and embraced her heritage. She has done so openly for some time. I respect her greatly for this. She took the first step to allow me to do the same later on in my life.

During the course of my life, I have come to know that my and my family's experience is not unique or rare when it comes to the denial and reclaiming of NAI heritage. I am not a carded NAI member...nor have a strong desire to prove my blood quantum. My proof of family blood lies in the struggle they had during the course of their lives....so much time and misery was spent and spilled in denying it. For myself, my heart is NAI. My 1/4 blood is incidental to this fact. At times, I wish I could be better as a NAI man, living the way more fully in my heart, mind, body, and soul. But, this is not such an easy thing to do. It is much easier calling myself Indian than living it on a daily basis. Peers are few....just like in my family. But, I do very much enjoy relating to other NAIs when I have the chance. In the truest sense, in my heart, they are my brothers and sisters when our paths cross. To the common man, my appearance is white...but, in my heart, it is Indian.

Well, that is enough for now about myself.


Would other members like to share?

[zoeboboey]

Originally Posted by Thunderwolf

I will start off the thread:

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{To the beautiful people}}}}}}}}}}

And I don't mean as in Hollywood!

xo

[smilin_gp]

My family seems to be of mixed pride/shame about it. My mother's maternal grandmother was Algonquin, which I did not know until 2 of my uncles went to Quebec and met some of our extended family members. They made a lineage chart with the help of family and records. They included a little bit of history with the names, such as position in the tribe and anything else that they could find out about. It was amazing, they are able to trace family lines back to the 1600's! My mother was not particularly excited about this project, she only relates her Italian heritage. However, many others in the family, including me, are very glad that they helped trace this part of our history.

[suebird3]

I, too, have NAI in me, but it was denied perhaps for the same reasons Brother Thunderwolf states. Remember that at one time, we also did not speak of cancer or suicide.
My maternal Grandfather's mother is where "the blood" comes from, and all points to possible Osage. Great Grandma's mother came from Missouri, and many papers were found to be "missing" after her death. Then again, "omitting" things seemed to be "the norm" at the time. I truly wish that so much of the heartache could have been spared.

[sirI]

My father was not of NAI decent. He allowed me to be my own person. The maternal side, however, did not.

When time came, I literally ran from my upbringing. I fell away, regretfully.

Ashamed? I suppose that word is one to identify the hurt in my grandmothers' eyes. I brought forth eee (sadness), not enk (anger). But, she welcomed me back once again never giving up on me.

Yes, guilty I am of shaming my tribe and my clan for turning my back at one time. Fortunate and blessed they welcomed me home again.

I am in my heart and soul, Cherokee. Proud heritage. And, I know the feeling Thunderwolf is protraying in his words, "It is much easier calling myself Indian than living it on a daily basis. Peers are few....just like in my family. But, I do very much enjoy relating to other NAIs when I have the chance. In the truest sense, in my heart, they are my brothers and sisters when our paths cross. To the common man, my appearance is white...but, in my heart, it is Indian."

Wadv (thank you)

[Tweety]

It's not a big deal in my immediate family. But my father's grandmother was pure Cherokee and he tells stories of how that part of the family was shunned by the rest, that my great-grandfather was the blacksheep of the family.

I don't identify much with Cherokee, but I'm not ashamed. I have a slightly tan tint to my skin, not lilly pure white, and often people say "have you been out in the sun" and my answer is always proudly "No, I'm part Cherokee, and that's my natural skin tone".

Maybe when I'm not so busy with school, I can look more into that aspect of my heritage.

[nativehealer]

Ever since adulthood I have proclaimed that I have Native blood in me. My father had told me that we are part Native but don't tell people that we are. For Natives back in the 1970's had a bad reputation "per my father". There are many holes in my family tree that is unaccountable, going back to my 5great grandfather, the first of our family in the colonial states.

[Grace Oz]

I liken the denial to how some here in Australia deny their Aboriginal heritage. On the other hand,the thing which 'amuses' me; once they know it's financially gainful to acknowledge and claim Aboriginal blood, no matter how far removed, they soon stand proud!! Is it like that in America? Is there a financial gain to be made by having indiginous blood? Please take no offense to this question, I'm just curious?

[nativehealer]

Originally Posted by Grace Oz

I liken the denial to how some here in Australia deny their Aboriginal heritage. On the other hand,the thing which 'amuses' me; once they know it's financially gainful to acknowledge and claim Aboriginal blood, no matter how far removed, they soon stand proud!! Is it like that in America? Is there a financial gain to be made by having indiginous blood? Please take no offense to this question, I'm just curious?

Grace, it is the same 'if' you can prove the lineage. If you can't prove it, then no, it is not the same. Here in the states the U.S. government likes to have documentation of ancestry for you to receive any gains.

Native

[elizabells]

I was always told "Oh, and your great-great whotever married a Blackfoot woman." Not "You are Blackfoot" or even "You are part Blackfoot". Even my mother, hippie that she is, never realized what saying this means.