[GeminiTwinRN]

I need some advice please you guys. I started working as a tech in the ICU of a local hospital on May 15th. I've been orienting ever since then, and still am until sometime around the end of June I think. I will graduate nursing school in December, and was planning to do my preceptorship on this unit this fall.


It seems like it's one of the tech's that caused the problems I'm having. She told the unit educator that I called a nurse a ***** (which I absolutely did NOT!) and that I am argumentative and refused to do something because I claimed it was "not in my job description". The reality of what happened was that the tech was the one who told me something that a nurse had asked her to do wasn't in HER job description that day. It's hard to explain, but as techs, we do 3 jobs, one job each day for the 3 days we work if we're full time workers. Doesn't really matter about that anyway, it's just that a "situation" did happen with a nurse one day, but I didn't call her a *****, I just asked the tech I was working with if I had done something to irritate the nurse.. turned out the nurse was in the middle of a procedure when I called her phone to ask a question and she hung up on me.

Anyway, I got called in to the unit educator's office the next day that I worked and she asked me about all 3 of those things and I explained as best I could without actually coming out and tattling on the other tech. I then went straight to the nurse in question, and pulled her aside and apologized for any misunderstandings and she said "no problem, we'll just start fresh". we've been ultra cool ever since. no problems at all.

Now today, a different situation happened. A patient who has been in the unit since Saturday has a 3 yr old boy. I was cleaning her up and she showed me his picture and got a little teary eyed. She told me she hadn't spoken to him or seen him since Saturday and I offered to bring her a phone in when he got out of daycare to speak with him. She said yes, but was still a little sniffly. I left the room to look for a phone, and then got called to a hallway where the girl's nurse was standing looking really ****** off, and had the charge nurse with her. I went over and the nurse unloaded on me about how she was the girl's primary nurse and that I should have informed her IMMEDIATELY that there was a problem, not FIX it, not do ANYTHING except notify her. I apologized profusely, and she said "we're okay". THen she gave me a hug, but I was really upset. I am SOOOO tired of walking around on eggshells!!

I went into the charge nurse's office and spoke to her. I told her (in between the BAD crying- you know, the one where you can't catch your breath crying!) that I didn't think this was a good fit for me, and that I felt like I just couldn't do enough to please everyone even though I honest to god have tried my best. I told her about the initial problem with the tech, and she already knew about it of course. She claimed to have OVERHEARD me calling the nurse a *****!!!! I have no idea what she heard, she even said that she had thought she misunderstood what I said but that the tech had confirmed what she heard. Unbeliveable!!

She suggested I leave (3 hours early), and come back in on Sunday and speak with her, the unit manager, the unit coordinator, and god knows who else after my shift ends at 7PM. I dread this. I always get that awful crying thing going on, especially because this is my dream.. my goal... and if I can't make this work as a tech, how in the HELL am I going to work as an RN?!?! So I'm supposed to go in to work on SUnday from 7AM to 7PM then have this meeting. I'm really thinking of quitting alltogether, but I really want to work in this hospital when I graduate.. even if it's not in the ICU.

Oh and to top everything off, I lost the first patient that I got attached to today. Made everything much more emotional for me. I had to get her ready for the morgue too, including toe tags and all. It really reminded me of when I found my gramma in the chair 3 years ago, sitting up in the chair in the doorway waiting for me to arrive.. but I didn't get there in time. I was busy when they extubated the lady this AM and I never got to say goodbye.

Really bad day. Awful.

Please advise. I'm sorry it's so long, but I need female perspectives, please. Am I wrong? I can take it if I am, I just need some help here.

Leslie

[kiyatylese]

Can you ask to transfer to a different unit? That way you can still stay in the same hospital.

[llg]

I think kiyatylese offered a good suggestion. Perhaps this particular unit is not a good fit for you right now. It might be right for you later.

After you have successfully transitioned from being a student to be an RN and established a good reputation on another unit, you should be able to transfer back into your current unit if it is still your first choice. At that time, you can simply say that you are ready for that unit now. If forced to discuss your current situation, you can simply say that there were "misunderstandings."

If you decide to try to stick it out on your current unit now, understand that it will be a difficult challenge to overcome the having gotten off on the wrong foot. You'll have to get control of your emotional reactions (the uncontrolable crying) and work very hard to prove to the leadership team that you are the right person for the job. You might succeed at that, but perhaps not -- and you run the very real risk of being fired if you don't turn the situation around soon. You would be better off transfering off the unit than to be fired and be "ineligible for re-hire" for a very long time.

That may not be what you want to hear ... but it is the best advice I can give. You can keep banging your head against the wall and risk doing serious damage to hour nursing career before you even become a nurse -- or you can "walk away" now leaving more options still available for your future.

Good luck to you,
llg

[kids]

It sounds like you got off to a bad start on this unit and I'm not sure it is something you will be able to overcome. It may have nothng to do with you and everything to do with the dynamics of the unit. Personally, I'd ask for a transfer to another unit.

And I hear you on the crying. I am about as calm and cool as they come but put me under stress in the wrong situation and the big, wet, snotty sobs come.

[GeminiTwinRN]

well, just to update a bit.. today went super smoothly, not a word was said at any time in the day or at shift change. there was no mention of the big meeting that was supposed to take place, nothing.

i had a great day, enjoyed working with the group of folks that were on, and that was it.

maybe it'll just all blow over. we'll see, I guess.

thanks for the responses!

I don't work again until Friday, so we'll see what happens then.

[mzkede]

I had a nurse tech job once. The position was new to this particular hospital, and it was always 8hrs, sometimes 12hrs of confusion. It was always controversy about our job description and duties(from the nurses and cna's). I did end up leaving, but not before speaking to the nurse recruiter who always seemed interested (in how things were going). She agree the program needed to be re-vamp. Not all hospitals have this problem and hopefully, things will turn out better for you. Hang in there