[Sadeyes07]

I graduated last year with my BSN. I thought I wanted to work in the ICU and I moved from Indiana to Arizona to go through ICU orientation. I loved it but still was scared to death. Then I went to nights and never again could I mentally or physically do nights I am lucky to be alive and not in an accident. I changed hospitals to be on days since the hospital I was at could not put me on days in the ICU. I have been at my new job in the CVICU for 4 months and I am miserable. The people are horrible and talk about everybody behind their backs I feel like I am in highschool again. I only have a few people that I can go to ask questions and the other day at work they wanted me to take a patient on a balloon pump which I am not certified for ( by the way the charge nurse asked me to do this) I cry everyday before I go to work and on my way home. I feel like a failure I started to look for a job outside the hospital since this Hospital cares more about their census then their patients since we sometimes move patients to different rooms in the same unit routinely. I did give my notice today but the thought of even going in there again makes me sick. What is wrong with me?????
Please help me

[GirloftheSun]

Have you considered becoming a research nurse? It's not as chaotic as working on the floor and the hours are better. No nights! The drawback is you don't get the shift differentials. So you'll need to consider quality of life vs the xtra $500/month.

[bethin]

Doesn't matter where you go people will always talk about you. Even if you have 20 years experience people will talk. You should never take an assignment that you have not been checked off on. Could you not trade patients with another seasoned nurse? I know you already gave notice but I would sit down with your manager and discuss these issues. You need to know what your doing right and wrong in order to grow. Not saying you're doing anything wrong but sometimes we do. I think this will help you in your next job. Coming to ICU as a new grad cannot be easy. Are you sure this is the area for you? Make sure on your next job that you get plenty of orientation and remember this: people's lives are on the line, ask anyone (even the evil meanie) a question.

Good Luck!!

[Tweety]

Best wishes. I hope you find something that makes you happy. Life's to short to be so unhappy and you sound terribly close to burnout.

[ERRNTraveler]

Nothing is wrong with you- it sounds like the unit you are on is a toxic environment- If I were you I would have gotten out as well. Nursing CAN be an enjoyable occupation- you just have to find a place to work that has a good team dynamic going on- nurses who work together & help each other instead of cutting each other down. After I graduated, I worked at 3 different jobs before I found a place where I truly enjoyed my job. Hang in there- you'll find the right place!

[wickedrn]

I am sorry to hear you are so miserable. Remember wherever you go there will always be clique-e people that are petty. Don't let this discourage you there are some really great places to work. Is there a smaller hospital in the area you could check out? Usually the smaller hospitals have a homey enviroment and are more welcoming to a new person. Still your peers right now need to be more professional. Best of luck to you. You will find the right fit for you dont lose faith.

[oldiebutgoodie]

I was in 2 different ICUs when I got out of school and was miserable. The people I worked with were horrible. Sometimes ICUs just aren't receptive to new grads. I moved to a med-surg unit, the people I work with are wonderful, team players, and I am happy as a clam. Just my experience.

Good luck to you!
Oldiebutgoodie

[hbhudia]

Do not worry. And dont let it go. I am also a new grad and work in PEDI. ER. Very scary. Working staff is as same as you are facing. I am just about to change. One thing you just have to face is that no matter where you go some in staff will always very help ful and some you you can not stand. But patient"s safety come first. If I were you I would not be in ICU. I think you need change and Me also. Good luck.