[Anjann]

My orientation was 90 days. Only a few weeks were with a nurse. The rest of the time I have been operating as a regular Staff Nurse except that I don't feel I should have been. When I asked for supervision I was told there was no staff to spare, that trial by fire is the only way to learn, that I should already know how to be independent when I hit the floor, and to suck it up and stop complaining, so the patient loads just kept on coming.

Now that the 90 days is up, my check sheet of core competencies is blank because I've been running around alone doing what I hope is good patient care and getting yelled at the times I made a bad call. I don't know if they are right or if I am letting someone make me feel incompetent.

I finally got to the point where I was sick and tired of being rolled over and told I needed to ask more questions and learn time management, when I've spent the last 3 months chasing after other RN's to NOT get help and stay 2 hours late to finish.

So I requested a transfer off of Medsurg. I got the avoidance dance until I had to basically force it through administration myself. I was afraid if I left my first job claiming a lack of support that it would make ME look bad.

Now that I have rocked the boat, I am getting called at home and asked to come in for a 90 day eval before I transfer. I am afraid they will rip me to shreds for drawing attention to their training deficiencies and eat their young mentality and that it will follow me if I try to transfer.

I don't think I can use this floor as a reference if I leave, so now I feel stuck.

Anyone have any ideas? I never new nursing was so brutal.

[MelitaRN]

Hi Anjann,

It is true that being a new nurse is difficult, however, I honestly believe you are in a very bad environment. The fact that your orientation was a self teaching activity with little or no support from staff and/or management puts not only your license in jeopardy, but the lives of patients. I would suggest looking elsewhere for another job if management hassles you because of what happened. You are not to blame for their lack of organization, staff, and training. A new nurse should have a structured orientation so that they are ready to venture out as independently as they can in the safest possible way. What you have described worries me greatly.

I feel horrible that your first experience as a nurse has been like this. Do not let this cloud your thinking about what being a new nurse is all about. There are facilities with great orientation programs that will prepare new nurses to function independently. Just do a little research, talk to some friends in other hospitals, and see whether there is a better place for you to work. Being a nurse opens a lot of doors for you, so don't let this bad apple get you down. Good luck and keep us posted on this.

[Anjann]

Hi Melita!

Thanks for your kind words of encouragement and support. It's nice to know that at least one person that read this post could relate to what is going on and offer a constructive comment.

And yes, I think you ARE right, it's the situation, not me. I am trying to work on an internal transfer.

Thanks Again!