[Mave RN]

Originally Posted by SoundofMusic

It's also about working in a setting that is often not set up to support you. You go to get supplies in the drawer they're supposed to be in -- and they're not there. You have to search 5 minutes to find a certain kind of sticker. There aren't enough phones -- a computer or two goes down and all of a sudden, you can't find a computer OR your charts to save your life. You're in a room and need help and the techs are nowhere to be found. So, somehow a morning buzzes by and time has slipped away and your'e being blamed for it ....

it's all crap you have no control over -- I think that's the basis of it. It's stressful and inhumane sometimes what we have to deal with - who wouldn't cry??

And to add to this, sometimes doctors have no mercy on you at all. They look at you as though you are a piece of lint that should not be near a human being, let alone take care of them.

[SMK1]

Originally Posted by SoundofMusic

I think this post explains it for me, why I also cry sometimes. It the feeling of feeling stupid, on top of incompetent, ON TOP of just plain not feeling accepted where you work. It's a feeling I'ver never had at any other job.

I don't figure it out either - and my paranoia will start to set in -- are they not being friendly because they're not sure I'm going to make it? Do they find me some sort of idiot? I've just never come across such unfriendliness in my life -- EVER. I think if nurses could just be friendly and accepting to new nurses -- to not make such a huge deal about what you forget, or what you fail to do or DO by mistake -- it would be so much better.

I had such a nice preceptor the other night. She even brought ME coffee and told me how well I was doing -- I about fell out of my chair -- almost felt it was a joke or something -- that's sad. But it's times like that where I'm glad we don't stick with the same preceptor all the time. Many of my others seem to have about 5 or 10 personalities each.

This is exactly how I feel. I have heard some of the nurses talking about how slow another orientee is and going to be another piece of dead weight and it makes me wonder what is said about me when I am not around. Doesn't inspire feelings of confidence. All I can do is try my best and show that I am taking the construcitive criticisms and applying them where I need to. I cannot believe the difference in the stress level from student to nurse. It is really a shock. In any case, I do like what I am doing, just wish there was a way to know all of the unwritten rules and policies of the unit right away.

[nursemike]

In some traditionally male-dominated fields, it used to be almost given that one had to fight ones way onto the crew. If you won, fine; if you lost, that was okay, too. The main question was how willing you were to stand up for yourself.
In what we like to believe are more civilized times, that's less true of actual fisticuffs, but I don't think the rite-of-passage has altogether gone away, and truly, I don't think it's entirely a guy thing. There seems to be an element within just about any social group who won't respect you until you stand up and spit in their eye.
I had a night, last night, where my shift ended at 0730, but I didn't finish until 10. Ran my butt off all night and didn't even start charting until 0800. Had to listen to dayshift comments like, "are you still here?"
I know I'm a little notorious with management for running over my shift, and sometimes being less than organized is a big part of it. But my feeling during and after this shift was that I took the assignment I was given and did the best I could with it, and I'm not going to apologize if anyone thought that wasn't good enough. I'm not remotely suggesting I don't have ample room for improvement, but on this given night, I did my best at this point in my career. I think one of the lessons of the transition from student to nurse is just finding the confidence to say, "Well, if they wanted a good nurse, they should have hired one."
But I'm not saying it's an easy lesson to learn.

[SCgirl22]

I've shed more than a few tears in the last year, but they are fewer and farther between these days. While I have frustrations, and irritable patients and families, and rude physicians to contend with just as often as before, it somehow gets easier to deal with. I too, am a sensitive person and easily cry when frustrated or sad. There are more appreciative people than negative ones though, and they will get you through by letting you know you've made a difference. Some won't tell you either, but that doesn't mean they haven't noticed your hard work.
A few months ago I had a pt who was very ill and her son was very demanding and critical. I had cared for his mother several nights and asked my charge nurse not to assign me there again, that I needed a break. Well what do you know, I was in the copy room and overheard him asking the charge nurse why I wasn't his mom's nurse, and if she could change the assignment so he could get me back for the night. Even though he never thanked me and was downright rude most of the time, I guess even he on some level appreciated all the things I did. Some people just don't say it, and some don't cope well and need someone to take their frustrations out on! I felt proud that he wanted me back (and also relieved that she denied his request haha!)
Nursing is rewarding, stick with it long enough to get more comfortable and confident and it will be worth the occasional tears.

[inthesky]

Someone should create a poll about crying! I cried more in nursing school. Last year I had a student externship in psych.. I did 1:1 watching two patients in 4 points, crying and begging.. i cried for about 30 minutes. It was an emotionally hard day for all staff. I ended up losing the job for crying (i was also having significant depression issues at the time and as a student extern had no job protection)

Last week, I had traded a shift with a coworker who bailed. I was called 15 minutes after the shift had begun. I dropped my food, did not stop to brush my teeth..had a panic attack..ran into work with wet hair and a swollen crying face 45 minutes late. being followed by patients who want their meds NOW and harassed over the phone to admit new patients NOW. the day was salvaged by pure nursing teamwork. We all had eachothers back. In nursing, so many nurses eat eachother, but that day we nurtured eachother.

I feel like nurses are supposed to be perfect.

*hugs* to everyone who has cried or felt like crying or has shown compassion as i cry

[janfrn]

Originally Posted by inthesky

Someone should create a poll about crying!
*hugs* to everyone who has cried or felt like crying or has shown compassion as i cry

Ask and ye shall receive. I'll add a poll to this thread and we'll see hard numbers very soon!

[LittleCatB]

Originally Posted by Morettia2

I cried my first night off orientation 7 months ago and I am almost 10 months into my first year I cry every now and a again.

OMG, nursefancy, I've had sooo many nights like this... I've had every incident you describe happen! and yeah, I'm a crier, big time... this first year of nursing has been the most emotional year of my life. If I didn't shed a few tears at work now and then I'd implode and there'd be just a little smudge of me left on the dirty linoleum floor.

[SoundofMusic]

So I want to ask ...what is so "bad" about crying??

It's a normal human emotion -- a normal release of sadness and stress - we NEED to cry once in a while. I don't see the big deal.

So, let's hand our fellow nurses a tissue, and move on! We do this for our patients, don't we? I mean -- it's expected.

[Chloe'sinNYNow]

Originally Posted by SoundofMusic

So I want to ask ...what is so "bad" about crying??

It's a normal human emotion -- a normal release of sadness and stress - we NEED to cry once in a while. I don't see the big deal.

So, let's hand our fellow nurses a tissue, and move on! We do this for our patients, don't we? I mean -- it's expected.

Actually SofM,
it makes me even crazier to hear the seasoned nurses turn hard on a pt who is showing emotion. I work in OB and it incenses me no end to hear the nurses complaining about pt "X" who is "whining" or acting "wimpy". I've heard them gossip things like "get over it, you had your C-sec 2 days ago!" among various other comments. These are the nurses that make me cry harder over fear of what kind of environment I've set myself up for.

I know they won't be there for me when I crack or need a kleenex. And actually I already did crack and cry in front of them. No one thought to hand me a tissue either.

WHAT IS WRONG HERE? Is nursing going to turn me this tough too? Where's the compassion? I keep hearing instead that I better develop a thick skin or I'll never make it, and that I take things too personally. Yet I truly believe that it's my sensitivity that makes me so welcomed to perform such intimate care for my pts and their families. Now I have on occasion had a pt offer me a tissue. Go fig that one!!


Chloe

[ExoticLVNCA]

Originally Posted by CareBayer

How far are you into your first year and how many times have you come home and cried?

I've been off precepting for five weeks and have come home and cried three times....most of the time it's because I was so overwhelmed on the floor....once I almost started crying at the nurse's station because I was being pulled in a million directions!

How about you?

I'm exactly the same way. I'm very sensitive, always have been. When I'm stressed over a situation or someone has said something to me in a hurtful manner ( or I take it the wrong way..not sure) I cry. It's tough...i try so hard to hold back the tears but they just flow. I feel so embarressed.