[liveandlove]

I have cried more than I can count. I have been a nurse for over a year now. 1 year and 5 months to be exact. Thinking about a change of scenery...

[LPNscottnj]

I cried for the first time last weekend. I had a hospice patient in my sub acute unit. A young female cancer patient. Her constant need for a nurse caused me to get to know her children well. Her death was not pleasant. Many siezures and alot of wicked vomiting plus she started to bleed out everywhere on her lsat days. It was ugly. She died with her kids at her side and i was holding her hand. Everyone in the room cried. Including myself. The family called my don this week they were happy that i made their moms last days on earth tollerable. She liked law and order and candles. So i made sure law and order was on and got those candleless candles and moved the cad pump and any medical equipement out of the way and kept her room comfortable for the family keeping food and drinks avail for them to have. Made sure the cnas kept her repositioned and cleaned every two hours. She was young and it was hard to talk to her one week and have her die the next. I really became a part of the family and the process. Couldnt help it. It drained me but i felt honored that i was there when she passed and i made her last days on earth as good as possible. That is what nursing is all about to me. I cried with the family even her teenage sons cried and hugged me on their way out after her death. Thank god these things dont happen often. Being a male it is harder to show such emotions at times.

[nursemike]

male nurse crying

Hi, Scott. Thanks for sharing your touching story. There's a thread in the Males in Nursing forum about male nurses crying that you may find interesting. Some of the posts are a bit boorish, IMHO, but there's also a fair amount of insight. (For the record, I see nothing unmanly about it, although I also find that it seems harder, as a male, to show our emotions.)
For future reference, please refrain from posting in all capital letters. It's clear from your context that you didn't intend it that way, but in Internet etiquette, posting in all caps is seen as "shouting." Mostly, just posting in regular text makes your message easier to read.
Again, though, thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings.

[Nursey Face]

I have been off orientation for 2 months and have probably cried at least 10 times. Maybe 3-4 times at work in private and many times at home. What makes me cry is how overwhelming the job can be and also how the seasoned nurses have the tendency to make you feel stupid as well as how unfriendly they can be. If a new nurse makes a mistake, forgets something, etc., saying something like, "you didn't do this. check this off and then go hang this med. you must be checking your orders all the time", in a gruff manner may scare someone into not making future mistakes but it doesn't help their anxiety level, feelings of belonging nor stress levels. for me, it plummets my morale. I honestly would never talk to someone like this. I prefer the tactic where you explain that something needs to be done, say it's important to remember to complete it but tell them not to worry, that everyone forgets things but you will eventually remember most things.

why is that so hard?????

[Dragonnurse1]

We don't talk about Dr's offices because around here Dr's use nursing assistants or certifed nurses aides but no RN's. The only offices here that us RN's is the cardiovascular groups because sometimes the RN writes admitting orders for the Dr's and they have more training in cardiovascular things than other nurses. If I was still able to work I would still be in the ER on nights.

[ranaazha]

I thought I was getting better, but I had an emotional setback yesterday. Maybe it was just a stressful week (all 3 days split, instead of closer together), but I did NOT want to go into work yesterday. I was so stressed at the thought of new patients, possible d/c's and subsequent admits, and all the UNKNOWNS that come along with all of this. I have such a fear of the unknown which leads to anxiety which leads to uncontrollable crying.

Thank goodness for my medication. I calmed down enough to do my job. I also get sad and stressed out over NOT being connected enough to my patients, which happens on those split days or when I'm busy like an ox.

4 months down...

[SoundofMusic]

What makes me cry is how overwhelming the [COLOR=green! important][FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif][COLOR=green! important][FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif]job[/font][/font][/color][/color] can be and also how the seasoned nurses have the tendency to make you feel stupid as well as how unfriendly they can be. If a new nurse makes a mistake, forgets something, etc., saying something like, "you didn't do this. check this off and then go hang this med. you must be checking your orders all the time", in a gruff manner may scare someone into not making future mistakes but it doesn't help their [COLOR=green! important][FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif][COLOR=green! important][FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif]anxiety[/font][/font][/color][/color] level, feelings of belonging nor stress levels. for me, it plummets my morale. I honestly would never talk to someone like this. I prefer the tactic where you explain that something needs to be done, say it's important to remember to complete it but tell them not to worry, that everyone forgets things but you will eventually remember most things.

why is that so hard?????

I think this post explains it for me, why I also cry sometimes. It the feeling of feeling stupid, on top of incompetent, ON TOP of just plain not feeling accepted where you work. It's a feeling I'ver never had at any other job.

I don't figure it out either - and my paranoia will start to set in -- are they not being friendly because they're not sure I'm going to make it? Do they find me some sort of idiot? I've just never come across such unfriendliness in my life -- EVER. I think if nurses could just be friendly and accepting to new nurses -- to not make such a huge deal about what you forget, or what you fail to do or DO by mistake -- it would be so much better.

I had such a nice preceptor the other night. She even brought ME coffee and told me how well I was doing -- I about fell out of my chair -- almost felt it was a joke or something -- that's sad. But it's times like that where I'm glad we don't stick with the same preceptor all the time. Many of my others seem to have about 5 or 10 personalities each.

[allthingsbright]

I am in in month 5--I'll say I've cried 4 or 5 times. I am pretty overwhelmed most of the time but have days that go ok, too.

I had a particularly bad night last night, so I cried a bit over it when I got home.

Feeling stupid all the time is pretty rough.

Hang in there!

[SoundofMusic]

It's also about working in a setting that is often not set up to support you. You go to get supplies in the drawer they're supposed to be in -- and they're not there. You have to search 5 minutes to find a certain kind of sticker. There aren't enough phones -- a computer or two goes down and all of a sudden, you can't find a computer OR your charts to save your life. You're in a room and need help and the techs are nowhere to be found. So, somehow a morning buzzes by and time has slipped away and your'e being blamed for it ....

it's all crap you have no control over -- I think that's the basis of it. It's stressful and inhumane sometimes what we have to deal with - who wouldn't cry??

[Chloe'sinNYNow]

Originally Posted by SoundofMusic

It's also about working in a setting that is often not set up to support you. You go to get supplies in the drawer they're supposed to be in -- and they're not there. You have to search 5 minutes to find a certain kind of sticker. There aren't enough phones -- a computer or two goes down and all of a sudden, you can't find a computer OR your charts to save your life. You're in a room and need help and the techs are nowhere to be found. So, somehow a morning buzzes by and time has slipped away and your'e being blamed for it ....

it's all crap you have no control over -- I think that's the basis of it. It's stressful and inhumane sometimes what we have to deal with - who wouldn't cry??

Good points SofM,
let me also add, the rudeness of incoming shift change residents/nurses/students who think it's ok to yell and gossip and throw their stuff all over when you've got your charts and flows in a pile trying to get last mintue notes charted to get out "almost" on time and then your phone goes off. You come back and you can no longer find your notes. Or someone has written over yours, or the printer has jammed...

I remember as a nursing student in clinicals having to nearly use duct tape (Jk) to keep my mouth shut during taped shift report and in reality, the noise pollution is incredible. I cannot believe this isn't some sort of HIPPA violation, whatwith everyone heraing all the business of every pt not even theirs?

Chloe

RN-BSN, BA