[TriageRN_34]

I have this one patient that complains about EVERYTHING...well it must have been a slow day yesterday...so he turned to me!

I just got my hair cut, it is short and spikey and I put some highlights in. I went into his room and he went from hello straight on to how much he hated my hair! He told me it looked 'punk' it looked 'unkept' and it didn't look feminine in any way...that I should ask my husband for a appointment for a perm! (my avatar is me btw...that is how my hair is).

I must have looked at him like he was an exhibit from the dark ages in the museum! LOL! I just nodded, smiled and went on to my work. But this guy wouldn't let up! HOW rude is that??????

Finally he said "now if something was wrong with me, I would want you to tell me...is there something wrong with me that you don't like?"
OH WHERE TO BEGIN??? LOL!

But I simply said "you know something..I am a professional nurse, I see things in all people that can be improved, and things I like, and things I really don't like. But you know, I am not your friend, I am not your buddy...I am your nurse, you are a work subject only to me frankly. I don't tell my work subjects my personal opinion unless it is related to medical, and then it isn't my personal opinion per say as much as my clinical opinion. I don't go into peoples room because I want to...heck it is 0630 in the morning I would rather be in bed, but I come in because it is my job!"

Then I smiled "Now, if you want to go personal this hairdo matches my personality outside of work, which I do have a life outside of work contrary to popular belief. You are taking to a nurse by day...a tattoo'd, 6 hole earring wearing, smoking, belly peirced gal who plans on getting a nose ring and more tattoos in the future , but you wouldn't know that because I don't show that in my professional life at all..out goes the earrings and the tattoo is fully covered simply by placement of clothes ! My husband loves it , and would rather me look like a fun loving gal than a permed up priss with her hair just so every day...and I don't ask his permission to get a hair cut, or piercings, or tattoos, or clothes (actually I do...LOL!) because I am an adult. As far as your comment about my hair...frankly mr. __ I don't take it to heart or would waste time being upset on your opinion of me unless it was professional...do you have any probelms with my nursing skills? "
He was shocked and said "well...ummmmm no".

And I cut him off, "Good, now onto your CBG..and another little tid bit of advice about nurses in general, not a good idea to tell one something to upset them when they have to poke you afterwards?!?!? Maybe a good idea to wait till after the pokes with some nurses...not me because as I said I really don't take your comments to heart and would be upset in anyway, but I know a few that may not make it pleasant!" . And had a huge smile on that couldn't be told if it was an evil smile or a I am being friendly smile (ohhhhhhh that smile is powerful! LOL).

I won that little convo obviously..but OMG what gall!!!!!! Hi nurse I hate your hair you look like crap! UHGGGGGG. They say nursing is a thankless job..yes at times, but at times it can be down right mean!

What kinds of rude comments about your personal life or choice in hairstyles/clothing and what not have you experienced? This is actually my first, and no...I am not mad, a little shocked that he said it, but not made (infact I busted up laughing hard when I left like "OMG I can't believe he said that..heck I can't believe I said what I did..LOL!". )

[Spidey's mom]

Well, this is in nursing school . . . I was on Christmas Break and got my hair cut short - sort of a modified shag. When I went back to school I was walking down the hall to my classroom and one of my fellow students (male) who is also a friend said "Is that the haircut you meant to get?". I'm very self-conscious - I felt awful all day.

I'm over 40 and sometimes think I should cut my long hair again but each time I've done it people say it doesn't look good. So - I dunno . . ..

One time a few of us were trying to calm an elderly very combative woman down and as I was trying to talk to her she looked at me and sneered this awful scary sneer and told me I had bad breath.

I always carry gum and brush my teeth at least twice a shift.

steph

[Marie_LPN, RN]

I had one patient in the ER when i was an aide (NO dementia, NO psych history, NO alcohol or drugs, etc.), who i had JUST gone up to, to introduce myself, that told me i was "too ugly to be a nurse and way too ugly to live". Granted, this wasn't the most professional reply, but i said "Hmmm, I do not recall asking your opinion of my physical appearence. Would you like the name and number of my supervisor to discuss this matter further with her?".

I've thought and thought about that situation, and you know, i don't feel i was out of line. To act like this person never said anything mean would have been saying 'sure it's ok for you to run me over'. And i'd do it agian in a heartbeat.

[Ruby Vee]

I had my hair in a ponytail once, and a patient commented "I'll bet you think your hair looks good. I just wanted you to know that it doesn't." ***** Another time, I was in an elevator with my patient, several visitors, and two doctors. One of the doctors stared at me for the longest time, and then said "You know, Ruby (got my name off my nametag, I'm sure) you'd be a pretty girl if you didn't have such bad acne. Come on down to my office and I'll write you a script." What an @$$! I had two zits, but even if I'd been a broken out MESS, he shouldn't have offered an unsolicited opinion in front of a group of people!

[graduatenurse]

[quote=TriageRN_34


But I simply said "you know something..I am a professional nurse, I see things in all people that can be improved, and things I like, and things I really don't like. But you know, I am not your friend, I am not your buddy...I am your nurse, you are a work subject only to me frankly. I don't tell my work subjects my personal opinion unless it is related to medical, and then it isn't my personal opinion per say as much as my clinical opinion.

[b]I can understand how upset you were about the comment your patient made. But do you think your comment to your patient was professional? I think there is another way of communicate with your patient. Just say things like "I like how my hair is done and I dont care what other people think of me" and then just walk away.[/b]

And I cut him off, "Good, now onto your CBG..and another little tid bit of advice about nurses in general, not a good idea to tell one something to upset them when they have to poke you afterwards?!?!? Maybe a good idea to wait till after the pokes with some nurses...not me because as I said I really don't take your comments to heart and would be upset in anyway, but I know a few that may not make it pleasant!" . And had a huge smile on that couldn't be told if it was an evil smile or a I am being friendly smile (ohhhhhhh that smile is powerful! LOL).

I have learned in nursing school that verbally threatening patient with bodily harm is considered verbal abuse even though a nurse didnt actully harm the patient. I would be careful what nurses say to the patient because nowdays people dont sue health professionals with legitimate reasons, but they make up stories and sue them.

[Pattiecake]

A few months ago I decided to change my hairstyle. When I got to work the staff said it looked very nice, more youthful. I felt pretty god about myself until the doc said "Pfffw! What's with the hair?" Hmmmm, that sure took the wind out of my sails!

[jaimealmostRN]

Triage, yes go ASK your husband for a perm LOL...that dates this guy right there. My only expirence was in our very 1st semester of school at a VA home. I have blonde hair that is dyed and usually very upkept (roots and all), but I'd let it grow at 1/4'' b/c of the stress of my new school! Still looked good but this older gentleman said, "you dye your hair too much, and you look like you have herpes!" WHAT????? I don't have herpes and didn't even have on red/pink lipstick...no idea where that came from. Even though my mean-ish prof. was there I burst out laughing! The pt. just got more annoyed, but my prof. started giggling too...turns out he was mean to her also. I like Marie' response too, but unless these comments came from a supermodel, I'd just laugh them off. The person's just trying to get a response or is jealous.

[Still Riding]

I was once told that I was too young and that he didn't know that the nursing shortage was so bad that they let 15 year olds be nurses.

I din't really have a reply for him, but he kept calling me kid after that. I know I'm not a nurse yet, but common 15. But I guess I didn't say anything back, It was my first clinical rotation.

SR

[Still Riding]

and I must add that I think your comments were appropriate, because poeple have to know that we are not there for them to Sh!t on.

[jaimealmostRN]

Originally Posted by Still Riding

I was once told that I was too young and that he didn't know that the nursing shortage was so bad that they let 15 year olds be nurses.

SR

I get comments like this a lot, but usually in a friendlier way. My response is always something like, "wow, thats so sweet, I'll thank my dermatologist!" So then they think your like 45 but got botox or something.