[sunnyjohn]

Originally Posted by traumaRUs

Tweety - I was hoping you would come along. Thanks so much for the eloquent words. judi

I agree with Jess, Fun2care and TraumaRUs.

Three cheers for TWEETY!

HIP-HIP- HOORAY!

[sunny59]

[quote=Someday-C.R.N.A.]ROGER THAT!!

.There is nothing wrong with homosexual men. (Believe me, you FAT, BALD, DRUNK, SMELLY farm 'boys', "fags" have standards too)

Hellooo

Talk about stereotyping!!!! As a farm wife of 30 years living in the middle of farm country I really resent that comment. Hubby may have a beer belly and thinning hair, but he is NOT a drunk or smelly, nor are the vast majority of his friends. Nor does he have issues with gays or anyone else for that matter - except those who stereotype anyone. Please, think of whom you may be bashing before making such comments - we are all humans and isn't that all that matters.

Sunny

[Thunderwolf]

[quote=sunny59]

Originally Posted by Someday-C.R.N.A.

ROGER THAT!!

.There is nothing wrong with homosexual men. (Believe me, you FAT, BALD, DRUNK, SMELLY farm 'boys', "fags" have standards too)

Hellooo

Talk about stereotyping!!!! As a farm wife of 30 years living in the middle of farm country I really resent that comment. Hubby may have a beer belly and thinning hair, but he is NOT a drunk or smelly, nor are the vast majority of his friends. Nor does he have issues with gays or anyone else for that matter - except those who stereotype anyone. Please, think of whom you may be bashing before making such comments - we are all humans and isn't that all that matters.

Sunny

Sunny, I can understand why you must have felt a little put off by Someday CRNA's statement. But, I really don't think he really meant this in the manner in which you took this. I review a lot of members' posts and get to come to know the tone and mood by which alot of members post. I am not defending necessarily Someday CRNA, but I think I have come to know how he posts and his sense of humor. I do not think he meant this too much than that. But, you are correct in that one stereotype does not remit another one. Maybe when Someday CRNA returns to this thread, he can present himself a little better in what he meant.

[Chad_KY_SRNA]

For the longest time I was the only gay man working at my long term care facility and I came out to the staff as I felt they needed to know, now there are two other gay guys, who I love dearly as friends. We are pretty much open with all of the staff. We also now have some lesbians as well but they are safely hidden in the closet to all but a few. People assume a lot of things about three gay friends, it was funny to a point now its stupid . We spend quite a bit of time together hanging out, drinking, shopping, etc. the stories going around say that we have all slept with or dated each other, we got drunk and had a threesome, etc. I just tell them that what happens when I am away from work in my personal life is just that, my personal life and in no way affects resident care. You just have to be ready for about anything as far as responces from coworkers, I generally tell people fairly soon after getting to know them, I may wait a while if I don't think they can handle it and let them get to know me as me and not just have them assume I am the stereotype.
I will come back later and address this topic further but my back is killing me, my legs are swollen and I am going on no sleep and very little caffeine. I had to work 8 last night after getting out of the EMT-B class I am taking.

[SharonH, RN]

Originally Posted by quakerkid

EDIT: Thanks for the first several responses - I wanted to update my question a little. I guess I am asking specifically about the situation when patients ask about your personal life (which, during nursing school, we were taught not to disclose, since the focus should be on the pt. not on the nurse.) But at the same time, we have to build a healty, healing relationship... answers?

I'm not gay but.......if a patient asks something that is really not any of their business then shouldn't you have the right to answer honestly? Why should you have to agonize over how to answer? If you are with someone of the same sex, then why shouldn't you just say? And if you are trying to build a healthy, healing relationship, then I would think the truth is even more important. And if they can't handle it, that's their problem. JMNSHO.

[Chad_KY_SRNA]

Ok I'm back, as far as telling my residents I don't really tell them too much, some of them are aware of my sexual preference because they asked me so I felt they could handle the truth. In general I don't just say Hello, my name is Chad and I will be your nurse aide tonight, I am gay. I try to keep conversations regarding my personal life in non-patient care areas of the facility. If I feel that a resident is going to be homophobic or has the potential to be a homophobe I will change the subject or tell them that I would prefer not to discuss it.

[Tony35NYC]

To the OP,

It appears you are very concerned what your coworkers and patients think about you because you obviously are a social and friendly person. However, your private life is really none of their business. Patients, coworkers, and employers do not have a right to ask these types of questions. It really depends on how you feel about this personally, but you should never let them pressure you into disclosing intimate details about your personal life.

I just don't understand why some people are so fascinated with this stuff...'oh, he's a guy, and he's a nurse, and he's not wearing a ring so he's probably gay.' So what if he is? I no longer wear my wedding band on my finger because I get a rash under it from the frequent handwashing and use of hand sanitizers. I used to hear rumors all the time about the "fact" that I am gay and about these doctors and other nurses who are (allegedly) with me or trying to get with me. The only person I've told that I wear my wedding ring on a necklace around my neck is the woman I'm married to, and thats because she's the only person that needs to know. Do these people you're working with really need to know all the details of your private life. No, they do not. People love to gossip, and they are going to talk about you whether you like it or not. If by your attitude you show them that you really don't care they'll eventually get bored and find something or somebody else to talk about.

On the other hand, if what you're saying is that you're gay and comfortable with it and you want to come out, do it on YOUR own terms and when YOU'RE ready. Even if you tell your co-workers that you're gay you don't have to tell them anymore than that. I wouldn't discuss this aspect of my personal life with any patient if I were you, not because you're ashamed of anything but because you don't know how they might react to the information (even though they solicited it). They really don't need to know about your sexual preferences to receive professional nursing care from you. As someone previously mentioned, a tactful way to deflect them is to state that you're not comfortable discussing details of your private life while on the job.

[bradJP]

Originally Posted by RNIT

I had one pt. ask me directly if i "liked girls"... he was psych pt. so i told him i did. With pts you have to play it by ear but you can always fall back on the standard "i would rather not discuss that since it doesn't help me care for you any better or worse" or something to that effect that they teach us in nursing school.

Thank you.. that is a great response. I am a first year nursing student and in my first clinical experience my pt. asked me if I "was married" and then "had a girlfriend" I answered "no" to both questions. I have a partner of 10 years. But he didn't ask me if I have a partner, and the truth is I don't have a a wife/girlfriend.

I was with this patient for the entire day. We discussed many things, so it was not a loaded question. I don't believe he suspected anything.

Do other gay male nurses have responses they use to deflect the conversation?

Thanks.. BRAD

[bethin]

I work with a male gay nurse. He's out and no one cares. He comes to work to be a nurse and take care of people. I could care less about his sex life. If people have a problem with it, it's not his, it's their problem.

I don't care if someone is gay, straight, bisexual or whatever. My philosophy is as long as they're not killing anyone I don't care what they do(and this pertains to everyone).

[Darth Nightingale]

I'm not gay... So as a request from us straight guys... just don't be to flaming at work, okay? Occasionally you might bend your wrist too far (no big whoop, occasionally you might walk with a less than a “I’ll stomp on your guts" gait but that's all okay too. Do your job, be professional and orientation is a total non-issue. Same thing hold true for us straight guys. It's a sad realization that every hot Resp. Tech doesn't want to sleep with me.. but it's true. (I think the Rad techs are still so game but maybe I’ll outgrow that notion too) So before you flame me (pun intended) straight guys, gals and gay gals need to follow the same rules as well. Just go to work and be a Nurse. bi-gals?.. pm me That’s my $0.02 worth.