[Tweety]

Thanks guys, I'm blushing...

[RNIT]

Hey,
I agree with pretty much everything people have expressed here and it's good to hear the support. I'm not sure i have all that much to add but i just thought i might tell you my way of dealing with it in case it helps.
I've been out since i was 16 and so i am thoroughly out of practice at changing pronouns etc. If I am sitting with people i work with and there is some down time and we are just chatting and the subject of s/o's comes up and i mention mine i just say "oh my boyfriend and i..." or something to that effect. I think that most would agree that i am not throwing anything in their face because it is no more than any person in a heterosexual relationship would do. Sometimes people at that point get a look on thier face that would suggest they think they have never met a gay person before, in which case i'm glad to be a good example for them. Since most, if not all, organizations have anti-discrimination and tolerance regulations including sexual orientation i feel that i am pretty well protected... i've never had a problem.
As for patients... the little old ladies love to ask me, "So, are you married." I just say something like "oh, not yet." Of course thinking to myself "because it's not legal yet" (btw CT gay marriage started today woo hoo). I no reason to tell the little old ladies that i'm gay... they seem to want so much for me to be happily married. I had one pt. ask me directly if i "liked girls"... he was psych pt. so i told him i did. With pts you have to play it by ear but you can always fall back on the standard "i would rather not discuss that since it doesn't help me care for you any better or worse" or something to that effect that they teach us in nursing school.
Hope some of this was helpful... in my opinion: it's not a political thing, it's a personal thing.

[jnette]

Originally Posted by Tweety

Thanks guys, I'm blushing...

Add me to the list of Tweety Worshippers................

Ya done good, Tweets. Excellent post. I admire anyone who says what they mean and means what they say.

Now blush away, my Friend !

[Someday-C.R.N.A.]

I'm not gay, but I do get asked about my personal life at work sometimes. (Not yet in nursing). Nobody at work needs to know if I have a girlfriend or not. (Or what I do outside of work, etc.)

I either completely ignore it, turn the subject towards work (hoping they get the hint), or flat out tell them it is none of their business. (I try to be as polite about it as they are, or will let me be).

I agree with Tweety here. Gay or straight doesn't really matter. I go to work to do a job. As long as I'm doing that job well, that's all that you need to know.

I've made the mistake of telling people about my personal life before, and all it leads to is gossip and rumors. It really is amazing what people can come up with sometimes. Atleast by saying nothing, I know I'm not contributing to the gossip machine (or rumor mill).

[baby&mommynurse]

Tweety always has some good advice.

It also all depends on your own comfort level with people about being open about it, too. It’s difficult sometimes to be open with your “sexual preference” when you don’t know how someone will react to it. There are still people out there who may not be comfortable with working with a gay co-worker or having a gay nurse… but that is their problem. All you can do is be honest and do your job well. Where I work, it doesn’t seem like much of an issue anymore since I work with a few gay doctors and nurses and we even have same sex partners having babies.

[lovingtheunloved]

I've heard some of the most vulgar talk about sexual experience out of the mouths of straight women. Regardless of sexual preference, some things just do NOT belong in the workplace.

[Someday-C.R.N.A.]

Originally Posted by lovingtheunloved

Regardless of sexual preference, some things just do NOT belong in the workplace.

ROGER THAT!!

On a similar thought......................

If I was in a hospital and Tweety was my nurse, why would I care if he was gay? ....(Should I catch his "gay vibe", whatever that is)......Is he taking good care of me?? YES. Is he receptive to my needs/wants?? YES. Is he 'sneekin a peek'?? I HIGHLY doubt it. The man is a professional. He isn't there to 'check out dudes' any more than straight nurses are there to 'scope chicks'. The man is a HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL.

I am currently a steel worker. Does that mean that I'm heterosexual? Hairy chested? Vulgar? Wonanizing? Drunk? ............How about an aspiring nurse?

There is nothing wrong with men in nursing.

There is nothing wrong with homosexual men. (Believe me, you FAT, BALD, DRUNK, SMELLY farm 'boys', "fags" have standards too) ..(Some of the farmers around here have trouble with this concept. I have to explain to them...I'm not gay, and I don't want to be around you either.)

There is NOTHING wrong with keeping your personal life (Whatever that may be) COMPLETELY apart from your work life. .......That's what Professionals do.

**Tweety, I am assuming that you will be okay with me referencing you this way. Be sure I mean no disrespect. You seem like a very caring man and a fine nurse. (Just to be clear).

[madwife2002]

Well said Tweety, dont think anybody could add to that.

[RN34TX]

Originally Posted by Someday-C.R.N.A.

There is NOTHING wrong with keeping your personal life (Whatever that may be) COMPLETELY apart from your work life. .......That's what Professionals do.

That's not the real world, professional or not.
Keeping my personal life completely apart from my work life is what I attempted to do many times over but...it only leads to more questions, more probing, and just as much if not more gossip and stories about you. Not that gossip in the workplace should rule how you react to it but in my experience, it just ends up making things worse when you act vague and mysterious about your personal life.

For me, it's always been a struggle between the "If you're gay I don't want to know about it" straight co-workers and the "Inquiring minds want to know" types.
For the latter types, fine. Here's my oh so interesting gay life. Pretty ordinary and not much different from yours, are you happy now?
For the former types I've always found it interesting that the same nurses who fall into the "keep your private life to yourself" category to be the same ones who constantly talk about their husbands and children at the nurse's station all day. Anything outside of that world would be deemed inappropriate in their minds.
Can all of you out there who insist that your private lives are completely separate from your professional lives honestly say that you never make any mention of a spouse or love interest to your co-workers, whether voluntarily or prompted by questions from your peers? And only discuss professional work related issues with them?
Baloney.

[RN34TX]

Originally Posted by lovingtheunloved

I've heard some of the most vulgar talk about sexual experience out of the mouths of straight women. Regardless of sexual preference, some things just do NOT belong in the workplace.

My experience has been exactly the same and I agree that it does not belong in the workplace.
But what I find interesting is the double standard I've seen in almost all of my work settings.
The sexual discussions are never labeled by anyone as "inappropriate" or "degrading" until men (straight or gay) start talking like that or participating in it.
Then all of a sudden human resources gets a call and we're having floor meetings about it.