[abbaking]

Hello all. I have been a male Registered Nurse in the Med/Surg setting for about 6 years now, and lately I have noticed alot of negativity with my fellow female nursing professionals. Sometimes my charge nurse snaps at me for no apparent reason or is just passive-aggressive which really irritates me. Rather than just tell me her problem(s) with me, this particular individual speaks under her breath or makes condescending remarks. I have done my best to ignore this woman, but in this setting I report to her. I have been very professional with her and have told her recently to kindly refrain from making inappropriate remarks about my professionalism and my manner of providing care. She has since given me added grief. What can i do with Nurse Racheted?

[styRN]

Do you work in a unionized environment? If so, speak to your uion leader.
If not, and you have already made your feelings clear to your charge nurse, then proceed up the chain of command to the next level of suprervisor.
Is it because you are male, or are you able to identify why she picks on you? Are you the only one she does this to? Ask around to other nurses you feel comfortable with for their input before proceeding; perhaps there's a reason she's homing in on you that you will need the information for to proceed to the next level.

[Tweety]

Running to management works maybe 10% of the time studies show.

Stop being the professional nice guy who ignores and confront the person each and every time she speaks under her breath and makes condescending remarks.

"Excuse me I didn't hear what you just said. When you talk under your breath it makes me feel..............." "You may not have meant it this way, but let me tell you how your remark just sounded. It sounded condescending, can we talk about this?".

Try to get to what the real issue is. She may not like men, she may not like you for some particular reason. There might be something you don't see that you need to work on.

Be relentless and confront each and every time, no matter how busy and tedious it becomes. Try this for a week or so. "We talked about this before, but it keeps happening, can we talk about why this is so? Would you like to have a meeting without your supervisor on how we can address this issue, because I'm becoming very frustrated that we can't seem to resolve it?"

Having the person present when you involve management is better than going behind her back.

[gitterbug]

Tweety is right on with his advice. Good luck. Sometime it just takes being confrontational to solve the issue.

[Shamira Aizza]

Have experienced the same, but I've found that as I develop friendships and share my views on some of the RN's that have been unpleasant toward me, some of my other female colleagues also find them unpleasant.

My biggest dissappointment has been that I find some female RN's reluctant to mentor me or eager to address my inquiries when I have a question (I just made a big change in clinical population). But then, others are extremely helpful.

I just made a comment to a colleague the other day about having trouble getting straight answers from a clinical leader, and a female colleague told me that this clinical leader "doesn't like men" as a result of a bad relationship.

[SEOBowhntr]

Originally Posted by Tweety

Running to management works maybe 10% of the time studies show.

Stop being the professional nice guy who ignores and confront the person each and every time she speaks under her breath and makes condescending remarks.

"Excuse me I didn't hear what you just said. When you talk under your breath it makes me feel..............." "You may not have meant it this way, but let me tell you how your remark just sounded. It sounded condescending, can we talk about this?".

Try to get to what the real issue is. She may not like men, she may not like you for some particular reason. There might be something you don't see that you need to work on.

Be relentless and confront each and every time, no matter how busy and tedious it becomes. Try this for a week or so. "We talked about this before, but it keeps happening, can we talk about why this is so? Would you like to have a meeting without your supervisor on how we can address this issue, because I'm becoming very frustrated that we can't seem to resolve it?"

Having the person present when you involve management is better than going behind her back.

Or under the wrong circumstances, it may get you in the unemployment line like challenging unethical management did me. They may find someone who "claims" things about you, and then fire you for a "violation" of personal conduct policies.

[Tweety]

Originally Posted by SEOBowhntr

Or under the wrong circumstances, it may get you in the unemployment line like challenging unethical management did me. They may find someone who "claims" things about you, and then fire you for a "violation" of personal conduct policies.

Yes, there's always risk when one confronts charge nurses and managers. So once has to choose their battles. Some battles are worth the risk and others are not.

If I were in a situation where management was unethical and people were making things up about me, I'd just assume be in the unemployment line that work under those conditions. So the risk of a confrontation would be worth it.

[Young Woman]

Hey i am a woman and hearing all this i never thought about the mans side
maybe i have been to harsh
at things
even when it comes to men i work with
young

[markas214]

Originally Posted by SEOBowhntr

Or under the wrong circumstances, it may get you in the unemployment line like challenging unethical management did me. They may find someone who "claims" things about you, and then fire you for a "violation" of personal conduct policies.

In nursing there is no unemployment line. I get a lot of respect where I am now and enjoy my job. 5 years ago I was being berated by an ADON over as petty issue, a nursing home resident had left her fibercon capsule on her nightstand and I was getting written up, and stood up and started to walk out. She said "you get back in here" at which point I told her I quit and she would be getting my notice that night. Her jaw dropped and she went silent. Since she could not threaten my job she had no power. I worked at an ER with a terrible manager and when I complained about inadequate staffing she began to ride me hard. I finally confronted her in her office, gave my notice and was told "don't you talk with anybody about this. It's bad for moral". I said "no your bad for moral. You have no interpersonal skills and the staff despises you". She accepted my notice, made it effective immediately and paid me for my two weeks notice too stay home. She was fired a few weeks later. Good chance she blackballed me at that hospital but again there are hundreds of places to work withinn 45 minutes of my home. There are way too many opportunities out there to stay in a hostile enviorment. Go to her boss and request a meeting. Write things down. You will need specifics and witnesses help. If they won't listen quit.

[markas214]

Originally Posted by SEOBowhntr

Or under the wrong circumstances, it may get you in the unemployment line like challenging unethical management did me. They may find someone who "claims" things about you, and then fire you for a "violation" of personal conduct policies.

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