[samswim4]

Originally Posted by Frecklestoo

There is nothing more manly than a guy who is comfortable enough with himself and his feelings to cry. It shows he has a heart, and feelings. Human beings were made with the ability to feel pain, anguish, and sadness. We were also given emotions, tears and the ability to cry to express those feelings and release them. Crying shows you are human, whether you are a man or a woman.

I agree. But do you guys think there is a time and a place to express your emotions? Coming from a military background, I was taught not to express emotion at any time in public. I know that the military and nursing are two different worlds, but being the professionals that "we"(still a student) are, do you think it's "appropriate" to cry in front of patients and their families?

[Tweety]

Originally Posted by samswim4

I agree. But do you guys think there is a time and a place to express your emotions? Coming from a military background, I was taught not to express emotion at any time in public. I know that the military and nursing are two different worlds, but being the professionals that "we"(still a student) are, do you think it's "appropriate" to cry in front of patients and their families?

Depends on the circumstances. If you're starting an IV and can't get it and are stressed out and frustrated because you're just having a rotten day. No it's not.

If you're comforting someone who has just lost their husband of 50 years, and you've been providing this man comfort measures for 12 hours and he dies in front of you, yes it is.

But it's about the patient and family member. We can't make it about ourselves and our emotions. We do have to keep them under check.

[dskrninpa]

I am not normally emotional, but when you lose a patient you've cared for over a period of time it's tough to take, and natural to cry. No one discourages anyone male or female from crying at those times, although most of us take a "moment". In my humble opinion it's worse to hold it in.

That being said I wouldn't cry over not being able to start an IV.

[nursemike]

I have a little trouble with the idea of "appropriate" crying. Part of me feels that if you feel moved to cry, it's appropriate to cry, and if you don't feel moved to cry, that's ok, too. On the other hand, weeping openly over trivia seems...I don't know--immature, I guess.

I've seen new coworkers crying because they were just utterly overwhelmed with all the work of being a nurse. I didn't think less of them, because I can vividly recall the feeling, even though I was never in tears over it. Then again, they were young women, so I'm less inclined to expect them to "keep a stiff upper lip," and they weren't crying in front of patients or their families. What happens in the med room stays in the med room! I've noticed, though, that some of the more experienced young women have a tendency to roll their eyes a little when someone is breaking down over routine matters. Older females seem to adopt a more motherly attitude--if it feels bad enough to cry, that's how bad it feels, and a little pat on the shoulder and a few minutes to pull yourself together may be in order.
I haven't seen any of my male colleagues cry. I suspect they'd get little sympathy unless it was over something like a pt dying. Seems like a double standard, but it's one we grew up with. And, male or female, emotional outbursts in front of patients or guests do seem unprofessional. When I occassionally feel the need to unleash a torrent of expletives (I used to be a carpenter) I try to do it away from civilized folk, including co-workers whose sensibilities might be offended.

I firmly believe that nursing is a human endeavor, and we need not apologize for being human. Ours is not a job that can be done by robots. But I agree with Tweety and others that our focus should be on the patients and their needs, before our own. As adults, we do need to be able to "suck it up" and do what needs to be done, and save "venting" (in whatever form) for an appropriate time and place.
As best we can.

[caliber]

If you don't cry you're not human!

[steelcityrn]

Male nurse crying!!! Of course they do!!!

[Levin]

Depends on the circumstances. If you're starting an IV and can't get it and are stressed out and frustrated because you're just having a rotten day. No it's not.

Why do we have to make rules about when you can cry or not?
You talk about the situation, but you don't know the person.

So an IV wont start.
You don't know the persons background.
You don't know if that's the reason or the proverbial straw.

Regards,
Levin

[jelorde37]

uhhhh... i dont cry but my eyes have a mind of their own and shed a tear every so often even if i dont want to.

[PICURN74]

I think of myself as a real man and I have cried in the course of my work. I think that we need to be careful showing emotions at work not because crying is something to be ashamed of but because we are the caretakers and I have seen families comforting nurses when it should be the other way around. I had a 5 month old boy that died a long painful death because he father slammed his head against the wall and I spent many nights in a rocking chair holding him so that he knew what it felt like to feel safe and cared for at least once before he left this earth. Several weeks later when he finally did pass away I cried both tears or sorrow and tears of joy that his suffering was over. If that makes me less of a man than so be it

[tiij]

ive had watery eyes looking after kids that are messed up after their parents belted them.

and ive had to go to the bathroom when i heard my friend on the ward passed away. a nurse. who was only 23.

hmmm.. im not ussually emotional but sometimes things can get the best of you.