[Alois Wolf]

Excerpt from Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet":

"...
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall..."

[teeituptom]

I dont cry

all those tears and stuff might interfere with my vision while golfing, I cant have that now can I

[nursemike]

Gentlemen,

The use of punctuation in place of expletives, while fine for cartoons, is still not appropriate on these boards. Let's all try to find more grown-up ways to express ourselves, and try to refrain from name-calling in any form.

Otherwise, you might make me cry.

[Alois Wolf]

Don't cry mike. I'm sorry I said moron.

[patrick1rn]

American Culture being what it is, our human nature being what it is, and all other factors . I still wont see myself crying like a crybaby at work because a patients condition has deteroriated and the family is crying also. Its not my job to cry. I see some of my other coworkers who cry, well that is their thing../

[earle58]

Originally Posted by patrick1rn

American Culture being what it is, our human nature being what it is, and all other factors . I still wont see myself crying like a crybaby at work because a patients condition has deteroriated and the family is crying also. Its not my job to cry. I see some of my other coworkers who cry, well that is their thing../

and it doesn't make them a "crybaby" either.

leslie

[pawashrn]

Originally Posted by David's Harp

That's an interesting point, but the show of emotions does not equate to "falling" due to them, any more than crying at the end of a tear-jerking movie sends someone into a debilitating bout of depression.

On the other hand, crying doesn't necessarily mean that you're automatically being therapeutically *present* with a patient. It may be a knee-jerk reaction, or it may in some other way come from a more self-centered place than is beneficial at that moment (say, if an expired patient reminds you of a lost loved one, and all your thoughts at that moment are about your relative rather than the needs of the patient's family, for example).

A better self-centered example comes courtesy of...(drum roll)...me. A couple times lately I've found myself with "something caught in my eye" while on the floor, but it was due to frustration about this new job, how impossible it seems in spite of everyone's positive feedback that I'll be able to pull it off w/o a preceptor, etc. Selfish stuff, in other words, and I pull myself together as quickly as possible so I can get back to the patients, the paperwork, and being as supportive as a newbie can be of the rest of the staff.

In all cases it's a display, its appropriateness dependent on context, and IMO character judgements made from it aren't necessarily well-founded in either direction. Not that you were making a character judgement, but the overall thread here seems to be about others doing so.

-Kevin

point well taken.

[socalpca]

I'm 33 years old, male, married 7 years and have a 1-yr old daughter. i cried the final day of my day shift orientation. My preceptor was being unprofessional and inappropriate and it was just too much for me at that time. I didn't think I would cry again until it happened a few weeks age. One of my patients passed and I had to inform the patient's wife. I was fine during the phone call, but afterwards the situation just hit me all at once. I did't do the full-on cry, but my eyes welled up and I had to sit for a minute and collect myself.

I don't feel less manly for crying, but I also don't want to make a habit for it. I also don't think any nurse should be a habitual crier on the floor.

[flightnurse2b]

i think there is no shame in a male nurse crying. i think it truly shows that they care. i think my boyfriend actually cries about his patients more than i do, and its a quality about him that i truly admire. sometimes i wish i werent so callous.

i remember when i first met my boyfriend, he was straight out of nursing school and working in the CTICU. i guess he had this patient every night since he had been on his own, and he grew quite attached to him. one night when i was on the code team, a code blue was called on this patient. and there he was, like a deer in headlights, barely able to tell anyone anything except "i could have done more. i could have saved him". after we exhausted all efforts, he reached down to grab another bag of dopamine, and the doc just patted him on the back and said "son, just give up. it's over." he was just kind of silent after that. i met him out at the smoking tables afterwards and there he was, nose runny and eyes bloodshot, bawling his eyes out... not only over the loss of his patient, but because he felt like a failure.

its been almost 4 years since then. he still is very emotional when he comes home from work and has lost a patient, but will usually not show it while working anymore. i am more apt to leave the patients at work. he will stay up after work and analyze what went wrong.

more power to you guys. i admire male nurses to begin with. ones that can let their guard down to cry for their patient is something to be proud of.

[ramonmalino]

your boyfriend is admirable.