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  #1  
Old Jun 13, 2006, 10:25 PM
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2005
Unhappy But you're a MAN!

Hi all, I'm 17 been a CNA for about a year and have 9 months left in my school's LPN program. It really bothers me that so many female patients are distrusting towards men in the nursing profession. So many times I've had female patients tell me when I answer their call light, "I need one of the girls to help me, you don't know how to do this." or "But you're a man, you don't know how to help me!" it's really disheartening after awhile. There have been a lot of patients that after I helped them that one time they were fine after that and never second guessed my capability afterwards. And then there are those who won't let me help PERIOD. I love my job, I love helping people and can't wait till I'm a nurse, but some days I really get frustrated because how can you help someone who won't let you help them? How do you deal with the negativity?

-Ben

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  #2  
Old Jun 13, 2006, 10:51 PM
Roy Fokker's Avatar
Roy Fokker (Male)
Cpl. Ray Person
Join Date: Sep 2004
Re: But you're a MAN!

Sometimes I've very tempted to respond "And you're a man/woman! And this is a hospital. And I'm your Nurse/Aide. Wooooow! Isn't that great?"

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  #3  
Old Jun 14, 2006, 12:59 AM
krzysiu (Male)
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2006
Re: But you're a MAN!

i usually say.....well, your doctor is a man, right? they go, well yeah... so i go... well, im on his team, so what's the difference? a little lightbulb usually goes off when you remind them that youre part of a healthcare team that is all just trying to help. im just reassuring about things. if religion gets involved, i dont bother. i just ask to switch. if they still request a woman, try your best to accomdate. it will probably make your day/night easier anyway.

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  #4  
Old Jun 14, 2006, 01:19 AM
vamedic4 (Male)
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2005
Re: But you're a MAN!

Hi Ben...try not to worry about your patient's perception of you as a male...just do the best you can for them. If that means talking to your charge nurse and/or switching patients with someone else - so be it. When you're a nurse this may be less of an issue.
About the negativity - comes with the territory. If you aren't able to help them (because they won't let you)...find someone who is able and caring enough to do it. That way you're doing the best for them.
I don't think the majority of patients harbor any ill will toward male nurses/aids/techs...but they may feel uncomfortable, given that it is a field dominated by women, and you're not a woman.
And older women especially are prone to this - and it should be taken into consideration. Of course, it stings a little when they don't want "YOUR" help, so get them the best help you can. It'll set you at ease knowing someone you trust is taking care of them, and the patient will be more at ease too.


Have a good night!
vamedic4



Originally Posted by nursesaideBen
Hi all, I'm 17 been a CNA for about a year and have 9 months left in my school's LPN program. It really bothers me that so many female patients are distrusting towards men in the nursing profession. So many times I've had female patients tell me when I answer their call light, "I need one of the girls to help me, you don't know how to do this." or "But you're a man, you don't know how to help me!" it's really disheartening after awhile. There have been a lot of patients that after I helped them that one time they were fine after that and never second guessed my capability afterwards. And then there are those who won't let me help PERIOD. I love my job, I love helping people and can't wait till I'm a nurse, but some days I really get frustrated because how can you help someone who won't let you help them? How do you deal with the negativity?

-Ben

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  #5  
Old Jun 14, 2006, 04:41 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2002
Re: But you're a MAN!

I have been told that I am 'woman.. you no good.. get me a man'

and usually I have reached the point of debating with myself how to kill the patient and where to dispose of the body!!

so I smile and say 'fine' and go and find them a man!!

Karen

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  #6  
Old Jun 14, 2006, 04:44 AM
Tweety's Avatar
Tweety (Male)
Admin Team
Join Date: Oct 2002
Re: But you're a MAN!

Ben, it could be because your young and your a student. Sometimes it's really a student thing. I've had patients send away the female students and ask for me.

Every now and then I get the "send one of the girls in" but it isn't near as often as you're reporting. So take heart, once you graduate, present yourself with authority and confidence, it will get better.

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  #7  
Old Jun 14, 2006, 12:49 PM
malenurse1 (Male)
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Re: But you're a MAN!

Ben, my experiance is that when these female patients, (usually older women, I don't mean to generalize though), ask for a female, it is often for toileting and or hygenic purposes. I simply go get one of the female staff to assist the patient with this issue. Funny though, when I need to assess them, they don't mind me looking at their body parts. I too present myself with authority and as a knowledgeable, caring RN. This seems to help. I have alos learned not to assume that just because they are female, thay want a female to assist them with these issue. Occasionally, when one of them say they need to go to the bathroom, I will ask if they want one of the female staff members to assist them. I do this out of respect to their privacy, but I am often met with "There is no reason you can't help with this."
I guess what I am trying to say is not to take it personally if they want another female to help. While I do run into those who want a female to assist with their personally hygiene, I have not yet had a female (or male) patient who did not want me to be their nurse.
Good luck in school and hang in there.

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  #8  
Old Jul 03, 2006, 01:17 PM
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2006
Re: But you're a MAN!

I've had the "but you're a man" thing a lot too.... but more often i get the "hey doctor/are you the doctor?" thing.

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  #9  
Old Jul 09, 2006, 02:15 AM
Banned
Join Date: Nov 2003
Re: But you're a MAN!

Originally Posted by nursesaideBen
Hi all, I'm 17 been a CNA for about a year and have 9 months left in my school's LPN program. It really bothers me that so many female patients are distrusting towards men in the nursing profession. So many times I've had female patients tell me when I answer their call light, "I need one of the girls to help me, you don't know how to do this." or "But you're a man, you don't know how to help me!" it's really disheartening after awhile. There have been a lot of patients that after I helped them that one time they were fine after that and never second guessed my capability afterwards. And then there are those who won't let me help PERIOD. I love my job, I love helping people and can't wait till I'm a nurse, but some days I really get frustrated because how can you help someone who won't let you help them? How do you deal with the negativity?

-Ben
Hey Ben,

It could be a combo of your youthful appearance & the age of your female patients. Don't worry too much about it, though. It is nothing personal and after awhile you will have learned appropriate replies to make your elderly female patients feel more comfortable.

Good luck in school!

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  #10  
Old Jul 10, 2006, 11:08 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2005
Re: But you're a MAN!

Originally Posted by nursesaideBen
Hi all, I'm 17 been a CNA for about a year and have 9 months left in my school's LPN program. It really bothers me that so many female patients are distrusting towards men in the nursing profession. So many times I've had female patients tell me when I answer their call light, "I need one of the girls to help me, you don't know how to do this." or "But you're a man, you don't know how to help me!" it's really disheartening after awhile. There have been a lot of patients that after I helped them that one time they were fine after that and never second guessed my capability afterwards. And then there are those who won't let me help PERIOD. I love my job, I love helping people and can't wait till I'm a nurse, but some days I really get frustrated because how can you help someone who won't let you help them? How do you deal with the negativity?

-Ben

Ben,
When I worked in a VA hospice, 95% of the pts in the ward were men. There were four of us "CNA's". I WAS THE ONLY GUY

The pts would always call me or ask for me for EVERYTHING
.........

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