First off, please understand I'm not bragging, I just want to share my story for encouragement purposes.
:hatparty: I'm done! I'm done! I'm just coming out of shock. :hatparty:
I'll start from the beginning.
I graduated from high school 13 1/2 years ago. I went right to college and intended on becoming a vet (LOVE animals). My second year of college I found out I was too allergic and had to abandon that dream. At the time I was an honors student.
I moved across the country to live with my boyfriend. I got married and then pregnant 12 days later. I had plenty of warning but chose to ignore it, but when I was pregnant I realized my husband was extremely emotionally abusive and made my life h*** if I attempted anything that was solely for my benefit...including friends. I attempted to return to school 4 times while I was married to him and either dropped or failed out each time because of his interventions. I was constantly told how irresponsible I was for not doing things at home (ie taking garbage out....sorry studying for test), how horrible I was for not paying attention to him and how I was never going to succeed at school I (HE) had already proven that fact. On top of that I was never allowed to do anything, ANYTHING alone (aka without child in tow), including grocery shopping, if he had to watch her. So, I never went out with the few friends I had and did my grocery shopping with her or at 10pm (child was asleep then). HE, on the other hand, went out all the time and screamed at me if I asked him to ever say no or change his plans.
In 1999 we lost our 3 1/2 month old son to SIDS and 3 months later my husband developed cancer (he is 100% cured now). Over the course of the 9 years we were together, he beat my psyche down until I couldn't think straight. So, I slipped into a major depression (not surprisingly with the death) during which he also became physically aggressive towards me. Saving grace for him...he was good to our daughter.
In January of 2000, I had a "calling" if you will, to nursing and decided I didn't care what he thought and applied to school. I was so afraid of him and his reaction, I made sure someone else was there when I told him. Of course his reply was "he was so happy for me."
I started school under academic probation and only took one or two courses at a time while I worked full time. To my surprise I started getting all A's.
While I was doing this I started seeing a doctor for my depression and things eventually became clearer and, because of the treatment, more physically possible. In the summer of 2001 I left him after he told me he blamed me for our son's death (idiot). OMG! The world OPENED UP for me! I was alive again, I was no longer sick with everything under the sun and I was HAPPY!!!! I had no money... didn't care. I was also, still getting A's in everything...
In January 2003, I ended up marrying the best friend I have ever had in my life who fully supports anything I want or do. My daughter adores him and we built a new house, moved and had another baby over the next year! Whirlwind!!! I stayed in the nursing program throughout the pregnancy, gave birth on Dec 23, 2003 and returned to school full-time two weeks later. Over the course of the nursing program, I was also completing the University Honors program...essentially a second major with TONS of extra work. I developed a health teaching series and delivered it to immigrant Mayans in Georgia in both Spanish and English as my honors thesis. This took every spare minute of my spring and the entire summer. Still...happy hubby. We have been essentially broke the entire time, but happy.
I finished up my last semester in nursing school this past Monday. I scored in the 99th percentile on my NCLEX predictor test. Last night was our Senior Recognition night (equivalent to pinning...but with awards). My class awarded me the Leadership award, I got a "teacher's pet" humor award, and I was honored by the entire faculty of the nursing program with not one, but
two of the only 3 awards they bestow upon students: The Excellence in Nursing Leadership and the Excellence in Pediatric Nursing awards. The second award is hosted by Atlanta's premiere pediatric health system. I was completely shocked.
I graduate on Monday. Summa Cum Laude, 4.0 g.p.a. and an Honors Scholar (one of 2 in the entire University). I have a very happy husband and two happy daughters. I am happy. God, am I happy! I have come so far with so many obstacles and I succeeded to the highest possible degree. I hope that my story will give some of you hope when you are feeling like you just can't do it. It can be done. Some, like myself, just have to take the long way around. My father's words constantly rang through my head over the course of my schooling: "If you really want something bad enough, you will
make it happen."
Know what? He was right.
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Making it through
I UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATIONS...MY HUSBAND OF 30 YRS. NOW GAVE ME SUCH A PROBLEM DURING MY TIME IN SCHOOL... HE WOULD CALL AND GIVE ME SUCH A BAD TIME WHILE I TRAVELING TO MY CLINICAL STUDIES...I HAD 4 YOUNG CHILDREN AND A VERY CONTROLLING MAN....HE WOULD YELL AND CURSE AND TELL THE CHILDREN I WAS GOING TO LEAVE THEM...BUT I KEPT GOING.... MY CHILDREN ARE ALL GROWN UP NOW BUT THEY KNEW I LOVED THEM VERY MUCH....THEY DID NOT BELIEVE THEIR DAD..BUT THEY WERE MISERBLE.....I FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT BUT WE ALL GOT THROUGH IT.....MY KIDS ARE RESPONSIBLE TODAY BECAUSE THEY HAD TO DO IT THEN....I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THEM....YES I AM STILL MARRIED TO THAT SAME MAN BUT I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON AND VERY STRONG.... HE TO IS A VERY DIFFERENT PERSON BECAUSE HE HAD NO CONTROL OVER ME....THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME OF ALL THAT I WENT THROUGH MANY YRS AGO... IT MADE ME WHO I AM...............................OLD NURSE...
and your family.
