[mystiqx]

I litterally burst into tears at work today. One of my very very favorate patients is getting pulled off her study after being on it for 1.5 years. She was like the poster child for this new drug, and because of something totally unrelated (at least thats what the attendings suspect) she can't get it anymore because they think its too dangerous for her. Im so upset, im very attached too my patients especially her, i can't help it sometimes, when you see them all the time, and you know how their schedule goes, you get super attached. She is like family too me, i sit in her room and talk too her all the time while she's getting treated, I always hug her everytime she comes in, we blow each other kisses when she leaves. I always keep an eye out for her, cause her coming here means everything is ok, and now everything is not ok. Why does life have too be sooo unfair sometimes.
How in the heck am i going too make it through nursing if i always get so attached???

[DesertRain]

I know they tell us not to get attached, but sometimes we have to remember that we are simply human and there is nothing we can do about it. I'm so sorry you feel this way right now. I can totally imagine. It is weird how there are a certain few that you're heart just bonds with for some reason. The fact that you care this much shows how big your heart is, in my opinion. And the fact that you care (again in my opinion) tells me you will definitely make it through your career with a passion. I'm sure there are brilliant nurses out there that couldn't give a rat's a** about their patients but the one's that truly care, probably get so much more satisfaction with the job they have chosen for themself and therefore so much more fulfillment out of life in general. I know life is definitely not fair sometimes and it's okay to feel how you do. Be strong and keep your head up. And sometime today find a reason to smile about something. Hugs to you!

[coolpeach]

I am still in pre nursing, and havent started patient contact yet, but I am sure one day I will feel the same as you do. You must remember that you are simply a human being, and a nurse. You can only do the best that you can with what you have, and I bet you that you have done that. It sounds like you have been there for this patient/woman/friend, and made her life better. You have done so much more than simply pass out meds, tend to physical needs and do what you job description says you are supposed to. You have brightened her life, given her hope, lightened her heart, and passed out love. I know you feel sad now, but in the end you have given so much, and done all you can.

[mystiqx]

Originally Posted by coolpeach

I am still in pre nursing, and havent started patient contact yet, but I am sure one day I will feel the same as you do. You must remember that you are simply a human being, and a nurse. You can only do the best that you can with what you have, and I bet you that you have done that. It sounds like you have been there for this patient/woman/friend, and made her life better. You have done so much more than simply pass out meds, tend to physical needs and do what you job description says you are supposed to. You have brightened her life, given her hope, lightened her heart, and passed out love. I know you feel sad now, but in the end you have given so much, and done all you can.

Just too add, so no one is confused, im just starting nursing school this fall, but I work very closely with nurses and patients in a clinical trials unit. So Im not a nurse yet but someday I hope too be.

And thanks so much for your kind words, she's been stable for awhile so hopefully they can work with that, its just she's been doing soooo well, and now this The last time I was this attached too a patient she passed, I got too say good bye too her, and then that weekend she passed and that was one of the hardest things I've ever had too do besides my gran passing, and I haven't been that attached since, I vowed I wouldn't do it, but its tough not too. Especially when you meet such beautiful people, I just hope she will be ok, and maybe they can start her on something else...we'll see

[kasia2]

Yeah, this is what Im a afraid...of that that nursing will make me so sad inside that I will quit doing it..

[flaerman]

I am an RN with over 21 yrs of hospital based practice and when I went to school we were taught to never get attached to our pt's too. Well since we work with real people who have real issues and problems(as opposed to working with furniture etc) it's nearly impossible not to get attached if you are genuinely interested in making a difference in people's lives. I did Oncology for 7 yrs during my career and that was real hard with attachments because my patients ultimately died from cancer anyway. I just tried to do the best I could for them, their families, and help prepare them for passing on.
I did get burned out from Oncology as I got too good at knowing that my patients were going to die on a particular admission, and had to start to distance myself from them a little bit each day. It was getting to where everyone of my "pet pt's" died I was losing little chunks of me too, that and my pt population who were dying were getting younger and younger. When it got to where I couldn't sleep at nights it was time to move on and I have since done cardiology/PCU, ER, ICU, nursing supervisor and now ER again. I still have feelings for my pt's and treat them the way I'd want to be treated and do whatever it takes to relieve their pain and keep them going. I had a little lady (only a yr older than myself) who was homeless(though she didn't want to admit it) and after we treated her initail complaint; I fed her, took longer to give her meds(she wanted to sleep til at least 6Am-that's when the buses started running) to keep her until 6:15AM. On discharge I gave her my own lunch and even slipped her $20.00 to pay for her prescriptions(for ehich she cried and hugged me before leaving).

So no you are not wrong for caring about this lady, because when you get to the point where you don't care.... Then it is time go do something non-people related(insurance etc). Good luck with school and your future career in nursing. In nursing success section I have about a patient I had in ICU who went bad on me and some of what I did-if you want to read it.

flaerman

[mystiqx]

flaerman, thanks so much, if you havent guess already, I work in chemo, clinical trials, so it gets tough.

She came in today for her end of study bloods, and she's smiling and she is happy, the drug did work for her for 1.5 yrs and everthing about it is so unknown they probably didn't know how too ween her off the drug.

Anyway, she gets to have a whole summer break and more and then she'll come back and they will assess the situation, best part the drug did wonders for her. I felt soo much better when I got too see her today.

Thanks so much for everyone's support, its tough not getting attached, my whole unit is attached too this lady and she knows we love her.

[Kare117]

mystiqx

My heart goes out to you. I know you are going to make a wonderful nurse because you care so much. Chin up we are all here for you.

Kare

[mystiqx]

thanks Kare I appreciate it

[starbabyfive]

(((((((hugs))))))) to you Mystiqx.